New Year's Resolutions in Bite Size Chunks

I taught about Resolutions in Sunday School (somebody should rename that beast) this morning. I've got four I'm leaning in on. Actually, there are a dozen, but I've narrowed it down to four ... figured that's enough to focus on in any given year.

One of my resolutions is to read more. 2007 was a horrible reading year for me with all the my life, job and geographic changes. I decided to be "resolved" a little early, but figured that's ok. I listended to Malcolm Gladwell's Tipping Point on the way home yesterday and over Christmas began Carly Fiorina's Tough Choices. Great stuff. I'll give you the cliff notes to Carly's book within the next month. While I'd love to read a book a week, I'm setting my goal at reading one book and listening to another each month. By the end of the year, I should have digested 24 books. While not huge, a bite size chunk I think I can handle.

Wow What a Day (or do you count that as two?)

Back home, rather than doing Christmas presents, some friends and I decided to get a couple of hotel rooms at the Marriott, have dinner at the Emporium, swirl around in the whirlpool and just enjoy each other's company. There were eight of us, so it was a cool little party. We went to bed kind of late (at least for them :) ) at around 1 a.m. I proceeded to wake up bright-eyed at 4:30 a.m. thinking about one of my old Oasis students, Jami, who lost her dad two weeks ago. Thoughts were swirling around in my head on what we could do that might actually help ... even in a small sort of way. I thought, prayed and came up with a game plan (too many times I've thought and prayed and never followed through, lesson learned along time ago on that one). So I headed downstairs to begin to put the plan into action, adding it to an already busy day ... take a look.

6:45 a.m. Purchased stuff in the gift shop for some gifts and checked email in the lobby

7:30 Josh called and was puking his guts out. He had to leave the hospital to go home. Asked if I could get his van over to Elkhart General in case baby Sarah got released (she was a little dehydrated from the flu, which she proceeded to give Josh. All is good, she is home).

8:00 - 10:00 Got the keys, got the van, drove to and from EGH, watched the baby while Dee took a shower at the hospital, then dropped Loretta back off at the hotel

10:15 -11:45 Met with Seth and Sarah, got caught up and talked about what we think God's dream is in each of our worlds. Awesome friends, some of my favorite people to dream the dream with.

12:00 - 2:00 p.m. Met with Rhonda, Denise, Danielle, Jami (who lost her dad), Loretta, Bob and Karen for lunch at South Bend Chocolate Cafe. In the middle of it, took a time out to do a short call with Andy over at Simply Youth Ministry to talk about Jeanne's portion of youthministry.com stuff. Gave Jami different gifts God laid on my heart. It wasn't a ton, but I hope it helps in a couple of different areas. Great friends and great fun all around.

2:15 - 3:15 Checked out of the hotel, drove to vet to talk with her on Zach's diagnosis and picked up his medicine. I should of asked for a script for CVS; vet charged me $30 for 30 pills, could of got it for $18 at CVS. Lesson learned, don't get your animal medicine from the vet if they have the same stuff at the pharmacy (which we learned with Ben, vets can write a prescription for). Between vet bill and medicine, forked out $225 to find out that Zach has what I figured out from the internet ... a hyperthyroid. NOT great fun for me or Zach.

3:15 - 4:30 Met with Naomi and we talk about "knowing God's will for your life." Wonderful friend, fun discussion.

4:30 - 6:00 Met with Rachel from Arizona and talked about youth ministry, life in general and her first year in the Cadre. Once again, amazing friend, good times getting caught up.

6:00 - 7:00 Tossed all of my clothes and stuff at my sister's house into my car and picked up stuff for party at Chris' house. Forgot some stuff, but sister had my back.

7:00 - 12:30 a.m. Had a blast with 60-70 AMAZING friends. Mike, Scott and I aren't in town much, so we like to see people in masses when we come home.

12:30 - 1:30 Stopped at my mom's house to drop off Zach's medicine and some paperwork.

1:30 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. Drove home to Atlanta, needed to be home by 3:00. Normally only an 11 hour trip, but needless to say took some naps along the journey

Ok, after all that ... can you say STUPID! What in the world was I thinking? I'm going to bed now. Oh, wait a minute, what about all that stuff in my car and, oh yeah, have to teach Sunday school in the morning. Oops, better get to work.

While I'm in cold, snowy Indiana for the week enjoying time with family and friends, right before I left Atlanta we did a fun outreach night. One of the transition videos between short dramas can be seen here. The guy playing the Christmas tree is Alex and, while he's silly here, is one of the most amazing worship leaders. I describe him as "the guy who when he opens his mouth, heaven comes down." The other guy in the picture above is Vinny. Vinny is a first year Master's Commission student who seems quiet and reserved. However, he is a total comedian on the stage. With any luck maybe I can get Sterling to post some of Vinny's stuff from the fall retreat where he and Grant stole the show.

MASTER'S COMMISSION ATLANTA

The FIRST YEAR MASTER'S COMMISSION ATLANTA pics from the Christmas Party are below, along with the staff's pic. Eventually, I will post the second and third year MC ATL pictures as well.

While I absolutley love, love, love working with youth pastor's in the CADRE, these students have been a pure joy and make me laugh and smile so often each day. While I don't walk with them on the academic side every day, I do spend considerable time with them between projects, Cadre and other activities. For some reason, God has granted me favor with a lot of them. It would be cool if every church in America, remotely doing things right, would run one of these (of course, only if they are going to do it well...which is no easy task). The work load to teach, train and manage them is enormous, but the outcome - should you be willing to deal with a few more dings in the wall and stains on the carpet - is revolutionary. Between what we do with the Cadre and MC ATL, it really does feel like the MULTIPLICATION EFFECT at its finest hour.

Cool Coversations

I just had the most amazing conversation with five Master's Commission students at 10 a.m. at night, all standing and sitting around my relatively small office. There was so much energy and excitement in the room I could hardly stand it. I spent an hour dreaming, vision casting and encouraging them on what it means to "champion" people and projects ... what it looks like, how it's played out, how it's evidenced in your life... In the end, I'm not sure who left more on fire ... me or them. It was a cool night.

Dealing with the Desert Times and Alliance

Early, early this morning I listened to the final edits of Youth Leader's Coach for December. It's called Dealing with the Desert Times. All I can say is WOW ... hands down one of the top five most powerful, and helpful, messages I've ever heard.

Great quote and thoughts from Alliance's Leadership Team Meeting today...

It's far too easy to be a full-time minister but a part-time follower of Christ.

Jesus made himself of "no reputation". He chose not to claim His rights as God.

What rights did you "choose" to give up last year?

What do you do when you realize you are the most important person in the room? At the Last Supper, Jesus chose to wash people's feet.

Another Great Jeanne Quote

A divided church will never conquer a unified Hell.

Maximizing Your Mission Trip Experience

Matt and Julie Cooper



Matt Cooper with Back2Back Ministries was on the Epic Conference Call today. As expected, he knocked it out of the park. He now has a new fan in Jeanne. Here were my highlights from our time with him...

1. He answer the question, "Are short-term missions even helpful?" He told the story of how the kids at the orphanage wanted to make scrapebooks, as they had seen some of the women on the base make. The ladies were worried. They wondered, "What pictures would they have to put in them?" Long and short of it, when they went to do them, a girl pulled out a box of pictures of herself with the various teams that had come through. These were some of her prized possessions, most memorable moments. I loved the way he answered the question through a story ... totally dug it!

2. He did this cool visual with a clock, talking about Experience, Reflection, Changed Heart and Action. Often times we don't go any further beyond a "Changed Heart," basically the moutnain top expereince of a mission trip. He said the mountain top experience will be gone within 30 days, if we don't help them with "Action" steps upon their return.

3. He said that icebreakers and team building exercises are good, but serving together beforehand is even better ... have them do a Habitate project or something like it before they get there. Get them together and focus on something other than themsleves. Teams that bond well beforehand hit the ground running. Those that don't, it takes 3-4 days of their trip just to do that.

4. He encouraged them to find an organization that will take care of the details, so they can do ministry and not worry about what's for dinner and who is going to get it. I don't think he realizes how hard it is to find organizations that do that well. Back2Back has beat every organization I've worked with hands down.

5. If possible, get pictures and names of kids at the ophanages/ministry location ahead of time so that they can pray, prepare, etc. By doing so, a bond is formed even before your students get there.

6. He talked about making sure to know the concerns of your parents. It affirmed my "know and answer the questions before they are ever asked" mentality.

7. He mentioned "mission trips are pressure cookers for growth." Amen. Liked that saying.

8. Look for ways to involve other students and people in your church, to make them feel more a part of the trip.

9. Expect to be ministered to. As you pour out, you'll be poured into as well.

10. Keep great track of travel documents. If you're not good at it, admit it ... and hand off the job.

The only thing I cringed at is when he said, "Be flexible. We've found that students do fine with change, but adults don't." I totally knew what he meant when he said it, but have found organizaitons to use that line when they haven't done their homework. Fortunately, Back2Back is not one of them. They do the front end work, so youth ministries can maximize their mission trip expereince.

Well done Matt Cooper! You, Julie, Bill and Heather are loved and have fans in the ATL.

Elf Yourself

Ok, this made me laugh like crazy. If you ever wanted to see what three of my amazing friends and I would look like bustin' a move with pointed toes, then go here.

Calling Time Out

It was sunny and 82 degrees today. Far too nice to be inside, so I headed to Stone Mountain this afternoon for some time with Jesus ... it turned out to be time with Jesus, ducks and the squirrels. I can't believe I've lived here over 5 months and have just now explored this place. It's beautiful beyond words. While there, I read the book of Job ... a very interesting read after coming off a hard couple of weeks. Pictures are below.

A Great Quote

The years will teach you what the days will never know.
It's one of Jeanne's favorite Emerson quotes. I love it!

The Audience That Day and The Days Prior

LAST REFLECTION ON THE FUNERAL

Officiating my dad's service was a tough call. I wanted to do it, thought I could do, but didn't know if I could pull it off. It's been a redeeming moment in the midst of tragedy.

I got a lot of "great jobs," so it felt good and right. In fact, when Jeanne read it beforehand she wanted me to promise to make an annoucement sometime at the dinner afterwards that "I don't do funerals." I told her, "don't be silly." She told me, "I'm serious." When I got a number of requests afterwards, I realized she was serious. It was very honoring and kind of funny at the same time. My greatest compliment came from my aunt, she said "Judy, if you had a church, I'd come and listen to you every week. I didn't even want to get up to go have a cigarette." That little comment meant the world to me and makes me smile even as I write. However, nothing compares to what I realized afterwards. I didn't think about it at the time, but there were three different families in the room that day directly affected by previous suicides of their brother, sister, son and daughter. My hope and prayer is that, though my open and honest communication, something resonated in their hearts that they can hold onto.

LAST REFLECTION ON MEDICAL CARE
I've been told that we've got the potential for a lawsuit. That's not the kind of person I am, but I am one to learn from mistakes - my own and others - in an effort not to repeat them. Some asked about my father being in ICU just a month ago. Here's the story...

The drug, Seroquel, that he took for his bipolar disorder was skipping a few beats. The doctor thought a sleep aid would do the trick. Well it turns out when he mixed the sleep aid with the Seroquel, it resulted in either Serotonin Syndrome or Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome. Basically his body turned toxic on him and he went into a catatonic state. He was in ICU for a week with oxygen levels all over the chart. Obviously at that point, they took him off all his meds. They did a gazillion tests and came up with nothing. After about 4-5 days he started coming out of it. However, when he was better, instead of starting him on Seroquel again without the sleep aid or something else, they released him and put him on nothing - a guy who previously was on high doses of an anti-depressent, now on nothing ... what was his doctor thinking? In my gut, I knew that didn't seem right and should of questioned it further ... what was I thinking? In hindsight, I should of pestered and pursued other experts.

All that to say, trust doctors but if the answers don't seem quite right, be relentless ... don't give up and don't give in ... Michelle and Rob had to do it with Isabelle, Jeanne and Josh have to do it with Monica, and we should have done it with my dad. I'm not going to sue, but I am going to learn.

Four Things You Don't Say At A Funeral

From what I'm told, people say silly things at funerals that aren't really helpful and that I should be grateful my list is only four long. Fortunately, God has given me the ability to laugh, not weep, over them. Here they are...

1. "Judy, I just think it did something to him when you moved down to Atlanta."
2. "He often talked about how much he missed his daughter."
3. "I'm sorry the demons got him."
4. "The demons went through him to get at you Judy."

Now here is the reality, all of these statements were said by people I love dearly who simply weren't thinking (especially the last one).

The only reason I post them is for you to be able to counsel people that are in a similiar situation on what words well-intentioned people might say that could catch them off guard.

Funerals are one of those awkward times in life where words can come out of your mouth and the minute you say them, you wish you could take them back. Hundreds of people said the right things. Just in case you are wondering, here are a sampling of the right things...

1. "I don't know what to say, just know I love you."
2. "My thoughts and prayers are with you."
3. "If you need anything, let me know."
4. "You were a phenomenal daughter."

Not Bad Dr. Phil

I've read on the stages of grief before, but never really experienced them. I think I've been camping in the ANGER stage, yet still feeling like the whole thing is surreal. While I would never do it, I frequently have the urge to chuck something at the wall. Last night on the ride back to Atlanta, I had the overwhelming urge to top out the speedometer at 140. Of course, I'm much too practical for either. I know whatever I break I have to clean up and that's a whole lot of points on your license for going 70 mph over the speed limit.

The other thing I've learned is when there is a suicide there is enough guilt to go around and it's far to easy to camp there as well. I've got my share that Jesus and I are wrestling with.

This is what Dr. Phil had to say on grief.

According to Dr. Phil, the biggest challenge people who have experienced loss will deal with is getting their minds around what they are facing. If you are in the grieving process, you can expect to go through these four stages:

1. Shock: Feeling numb. You may wake up wondering, "Is this real?"
2. Denial: Being unable to accept the situation. You may find yourself thinking, "This can't be happening. It's not real."
3. Anger: Wanting to lash out at everyone. You may continually ask, "How can this happen?"
4. Resolution: Feeling like there is a way past the grief, an end to the sadness. You may say to yourself, "I will get through this."

During the grieving process, you may feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster ride, but things will get better if you allow yourself to heal. Dr. Phil suggests that you keep the following in mind:

Accept the things that you can't control. "There's something that's happened in the evolution of life in our current society that leads us to arrogantly believe that we run this world — and we don't," says Dr. Phil. "We've got to be accepting of those things we don't control."

Find meaning to your suffering. Don't allow yourself to be devastated for no reason, no meaning and no purpose. "You've got to create some value to the pain that you experience in your life," advises Dr. Phil. "It may be nothing more than helping those who are further back down the trail than you are. It is a process. It is an evolution. If you use your pain and what you've been through in your life, it won't seem to [be] such nonsense."

Suicide - Addressing the Elephant in the Room

At 1:20 p.m. on Thursday, November 29, while on a Cadre conference call, Jay came in to tell me, "Your mom and sister have been trying to get ahold of you, it's an emergency." I then made the worst phone call of my life. My sister informed me on the other end of the line that my dad had committed suicide. My niece had found him and, at the time, they were all standing outside his house waiting for the police to get through. All that I remember repeating over and over again was, "I'm on my way home, I'm on my way home, I'm on my way home."

Jeanne wanted to put me on a plane. I wanted to drive. Out of concern for me, she wanted to put someone in the car with me for the 11 hour drive, I wanted to be alone ... I needed to be alone. I needed 11 hours with Jesus to cry, scream, beat the steering wheel and be silent.

The next four days were a blur. While I don't remember many of the conversations, the text, calls and emails flooded in. I came away thinking, "Wow, am I loved." My friends, family and church could not have expressed love any better.

I decided to do my father's funeral. I knew he would want me to if I could. With the Lord's strength I was able to pull it off. Afterwards, my sister said, "When did you decide to tell everyone he committed suicide? It's ok ... really it is ... I think it was important, but you are usually a more private kind of person than that." I told her, "Honestly, it never even came across my mind not to tell." Most already knew anyway. I guess, with out thinking, I thought I'd address the elephant in the room. What I spoke at my dad's funeral is below.

I once was at a 10 a.m. funeral and the pastor began by telling us “good mourning.” I will never forget those words, because… as he would begin to explain, he wasn’t talking “good m-o-r-n-i-n-g” (like we would say before noon) but good “m-o-u-r-n-i-n-g.”

Good mourning means taking the time to celebrate the memories you’ve been given that will forever be impressed upon your heart. It doesn’t mean that you have to deny the fact that, while being temporarily parted, you will miss someone dearly. But be grateful for what will live on in your heart long aft a loved one departs for chapter two of their life, be grateful and mindful of what will live on after you depart for chapter 2 of your life.

While it’s 2 p.m. in the afternoon, I want to say Good Mourning to you as well. While my father has passed away, may you not think of his final days so much as the great days gone by. So today, cry some, but allow yourself some time to smile and laugh over the memories. In fact, I give you permission to, even in the next few moments.

As so many of you expressed yesterday, you loved my dad and have fond memories of him on the golf course, at the club, putting labels on Oasis envelopes or working at Dodge the 40 years he was there. We, his kids, have lots of fond memories as well.

One that my sister will always remember happened earlier this year. While she was on task force with Marriott in Florida for a couple of weeks, the South Bend Marriott back home, where she’s given 25 years of her life, was important and dad knew it and was proud of her because of it. The regional vice-president was coming to the South Bend Marriott for a visit and the office area was in desperate need of a fresh coat of paint. She knew that she was in trouble when the people responsible to make it happen took 8 hours to do ½ a wall. So Sherri gave dad a 9-1-1 call from Florida and he came to the rescue and painted and painted and painted some more while she was away. While he had to pop aspirin and put on a lot of Ben Gay afterwards, he got the job done and done well. She was grateful and will forever remember those moments in time.

Moments that my brother will always remember happened a couple of years ago when houses were being reassessed. My brother got an astronomical tax bill. Under my father’s guidance, my brother took on the tax man. He took pictures of the houses around him, talked about the nasty road and how the trains honked every 15 minutes. By the time he left the tax assessors office, he was paying less in taxes than even before the reassessment. My father was proud of him for that, my father was even more proud that my brother continues to live in the house that he built in 1981.

Perhaps, the one that will forever be emblazed in my head and on my heart was when I was in fourth grade. In fourth grade my dad did the most bizarre, out-of-character thing I’ve ever seen him do before and since. He let my sister and me skip school and had us go fishing with him. We started the day by stopping at this little hole-in-the-wall grocery and bait store where we picked up worms, Pepsi’s and hostess cupcakes. It was a great day of fishing, with few on the lake, which was a good thing because when little girls drink Pepsi on a boat, eventually they have to go pee and since we don’t have the equipment to go over the side of the boat, I remember peeing in a bucket. That day I didn’t care, my sister didn’t care, and my dad didn’t care for we were fishin’ … together. My most recent memory was him and I playing the last game of Eurche at Chris’ house the day after Thanksgiving. We took it for a win. It was a great evening with my dad and my friends.

As far as Thanksgiving itself goes, just one day earlier, it was a day of food, friends and family. I had worked some long hours leading up to it and we had buried my cousin’s son, Brian, the day before so it was a pretty quiet holiday. After Thanksgiving dinner, my dad, my friend Loretta, her mom and I sat in front of Sherri’s big screen TV and began watching the first season of the TV series “Heroes.” I was so tired I think I fell asleep half of every episode I watched. But I was awake long enough, to watch the character development of a small Chinese or Japanese man named Hiro … H-I-R-O. Hiro had the ability to bend time … he could stop it, start it, go forward or backward.

In one episode it was love at first sight with this waitress. The problem was that quickly after meeting her, while he went to the restroom, she was in the storeroom being murdered. Hiro spent the rest of the episode trying to go back in time in order to prevent the death from happening. He wanted to change the circumstances, he was so wishing for a “do-over.”

Have you ever wished for a “do-over?” I have countless times! Obviously, last weekend was one of them. Knowing what I know today, I would have done things a lot differently with my dad. However, this wise person once told me “Judy, wish in one hand and poop (well that wasn’t exactly the word they used) … wish in one hand and poop in the other and see which one fills up the fastest.” Some of you are thinking, Judy that’s sick. It’s sick, but it sticks. At least, it’s stuck with me for years. I don’t “wish” for a lot of things, I go after what I want. I’ve been told on more than one occasion, “Judy, you are a make it happen person.” Why? Because wishing for something doesn’t get you very far and leaves you empty handed. Wishing for a do-over Thanksgiving weekend is not going to get me very far and it’s not going to get you very far.

More than one of you over the last few days have said to me, “Judy, I wish I would have known just how much your dad was struggling. I wish I had done more.” As do I, but hindsight is always 20/20. But know this my friends, know this my family, know this church when you look in the mirror and reflect, the words you should say to yourself aren’t “I wish…” but “well done.”

1. To the countless who went to his bedside while in ICU just a month ago, well done.

2. To those who have called and checked in, took him to dinner, played cards … well done.

3. To my brother, who took him into his home after his release from the hospital and tried your best to love and serve him, in your own Randy kind of way, well done. Then prepared his home for re-entry with a new storm door, rewiring the stove and getting the leaky fawcet fixed because you knew it bothered him, well done.

4. To my sister who took him to church with me before I moved to Atlanta and without me after the move, then out to lunch afterwards … starting a new family tradition … well done.

5. To my niece who moved in with him last Sunday to try and provide some support and company, well done.

6. To my mom, who with her own divorce pains, stopped in and checked on him, fed the cat who has a bottomless pit and cleaned the bathroom tub for him on her hands and knees, among numerous other things, well done.

7. To my friends, who loved him, prayed for him, took him meals, stopped and talked even though it was awkward for you because he really didn’t want to talk, well done. You know over the last several days my sister said more than once “Judy, you have great friends!” Boy do I know it!

Given the outcome, while it doesn’t “feel” like “enough” right now, family you did well, friends you did well, church you did well. Let yourself off the hook that my father hung himself on. If you don’t, more than one person will have surrendered true life this past Thursday morning.

You’ve got to understand my dad struggled with being bi-polar for years. I never took “mental illnesses” very seriously, always thought with a little “self-talk,” you should be able to pull yourself out of anything. Didn’t take it very seriously that is until I lived with it up close and personal with my dad who was always solid and strong … stubborn … but solid and strong.

The most recent days weren’t his first bout with it. I remember a year and a half ago, when he was deep into a depressive swing. Often times when I’d come home late at night after work, I found myself stopping by his door…My honest goal? I stopped to make sure he was still breathing. His snoring never sounded so good. Those were tough, tough days. Recently … tough, tough days came as well. The swings from manic to depressive were becoming more frequent. Normalcy seemed illusive.

While simple, I process the whole thing this way. When someone is being tormented by another, there is usually opportunity to flee. However, when you are being tormented by your own mind, and the medicine is not working, or poorly administered, and, for some reason, answers to prayers are not coming fast enough, there is no place to flee. In the midst of his despair, he saw no way out. And, while I will never believe suicide is a solution to any situation … hear me, any situation! … I do not know what it’s like to live with a tormented mind that you can’t shut off.

Just for the record. Do I believe he’s in heaven with Jesus, yes I do. Do I think Jesus holds my father’s suicide against him, no I don’t … he was a sick man, he had cancer of the mind and it won a temporary victory.

While I expect it to unfold, I can’t see the big picture of how all of that is happening right now plays out for any good, but I do know this … I can choose to allow this situation to make me bitter and mess me up for the rest of my life… or I can choose to become better. I’ve been around the block enough to know that, figuratively, bitterness will leave me hanging on the hook right alongside my father. So today and every day, I will choose to allow difficult situations, even ones as difficult as this, to make me better. In particular, I choose to try to love better – love Jesus better and love people better - everyday. I don’t care if the people that I choose to love better the world considers the cream of the crop or the bottom of the barrel.

Every day, I want to try and love Sarah better, Josh, Dee and Ashlyn better, Sherri and Randy better, my mother better, my friends better, the rest of my family better. And now let me be very transparent: I’m up here today because I want to love you better. It would have been far easier to have asked someone else up to speak today…someone that many of you probably would not have known personally. But I thought you might be able to hear better from me … So I decided to love you better today by sharing myself. And somehow, I hope that my choice to “love you better” sends you out these doors today more determined to “love others better” in your own life.

For me, when it comes to trying to figure what it means to “love better,” I look to Jesus. Most of you don’t know this but from about 16-24, before I met Jesus, I was so angry at my dad. I hated his guts and wasn’t afraid to let him know it. I knew I was in trouble when a friend asked me right after I asked Jesus to be the leader and Lord of my life, “Judy, do you even want to see your father in heaven.” When I couldn’t answer that question with a resounding “yes,” I knew there was work to be done. And over the last 20 years, Jesus did that work and helped me to forgive and be forgiven. But I’m still a punk, less of a punk than 20 years ago, but still a punk. In my sin, I’m still a know it all … I still want to write my own story on how things should be even though sometimes I’m too stupid too know how things should be. I need help figuring out how to “love well.”

There are verses in the bible that help me. Verses I think we waste on weddings alone, but really apply to every relationship everyday. In 1 Corinthians 13 it says,

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I’ve given it to you with magnets so maybe you can put it on your fridge.

At the bottom of it, it asks two simple questions…
How did you do at loving people well today? … and …
Who do you need to call or text?

I’m going to leave you with one last true story...
When my father was in the Navy somewhere near Spain, they came across a boat that was capsized. There was a mother in the water going under quickly, desperately holding her baby in the air. My father grabbed the baby first, and in the instant that it took to get that baby in the boat it was too late for the mother. She went under.

No matter what he did, my father couldn’t save the mother. My point? We couldn’t save my father … but we CAN make a difference in our babies’ lives. Some of our babies here today are 3 and some of them are 33. Some are biological and some are simply people God put in your sphere of influence. Seriously, the only thing we can do today that really matters for all eternity is choose to love better than we did yesterday. Love Jesus better and love others better. So that someday someone can say to our loved ones “Good Mourning” and countless things about us will have been impressed upon their hearts.