You know ... they're just Northern

I had so much fun just hanging out with James and Brittany tonight. All the students had the day off, but James and Brit came into work since we're heading into a six day MC weekend and, frankly, there's things that just need to get done. I'm proud of them and their work ethic.

Anyway, we took some time to chill over dinner and I got the biggest laugh of my day when Brittany said, "you know, they're just northern." What was so funny was that no explanation was needed. Having lived in the south for 17 months now, I can honestly say they are just NATURALLY more friendly and loving. No disrespect to the Northern'ers meant, especially since I am one of them. But, if there was one thing I wasn't used to when I got here, it's the Southern hospitality ... I get it and, hopefully, one day got it.

Am I Doing Ok?

I had a friend step into my office today and ask that question, "Am I doing ok?" An unintentional comment was said by a staff member that stung. Understandably, it lead to the question, "Am I doing ok?" My resonding answer was "By all means, yes!" ... then I added the "but..."

He's in a very unique line of work that people don't necessarily understand all the hours it takes to perform his job, nor do they understand all the "side jobs" he gets asked to do "real quick that will only take a second." Nothing only takes a second, nor a minute.

So, my advice to him was to journal/log what he does each day ... not second by second, but the chunks that take awhile. I warned him though that most people give up on the process rather quickly because it's incredibly revealing...

1. They realize they really are wasting a lot of time
2. They realize there is a lot of stuff they should be delegating and empowering others to do.
3. They can only account for about 6 of the 8 hours.

All of that is hard to swallow. I challenged him to fight though it. We'll see what happens.

That's Our Girl

Next week marks the one year death of her great grandpa (my dad). This little girl (my great niece) will never know the hope that she brought our family in the middle of the darkness. For two years running, she'll rank #1 for what I'm most thankful for this holiday season.

She softens hearts with her giggles.
She reminds us of her daddy (my nephew) with her slow growing baby hair.
She brings out the tenderness in her grandpa (my brother).
She reminds us that God is still on the throne.

Happy Birthday Sis

Actually your birthday ended seven minutes ago, but I thought about you a lot today. Hope you enjoyed the call from Jeanne this morning. Only for you! I love you.

Bubba Smith

Bubba Smith was one of the AMAZING 39 youth pastors at the Cadre this week. He is way cool. I loved what he wrote about the Cadre. You can read it here.

Levels of Grace

The conversations around here have centered around GRACE these last few days. I had an apartment blow it on cleaning before moving out for the Cadre (a couple apartments move out and spend the night with other students so youth pastors can move in). Their RA, who is an AMAZING young man, did a great job of trying to cover for them by cleaning the apartment himself, but not good enough.

There is a consequence that everyone was told up front would be the case if their apartments didn't measure up. Not a tough one, but slightly irritating nonetheless. I told them if they didn't do a decent job "they must just want the opportunity to do it again when Cadre comes back in town, so I'll give it to them (ie I will give them a do-over)." Now don't get me wrong, they love, love, love serving the Cadre and give up their apartments willingly. But like everything, moderation on that one is the key. Moving out every 3rd or 4th Cadre is great, every Cadre or two Cadres in a row would be tough.

In regard to covering for his guys, the RA's response was "Judy, I just love my guys." My response was, "I love your guys too, that's why I'm going to hold them accountable. James and Kayla having to clean your apartment is not cool. Me having to still clean more after James and Kayla leave is really not cool." Covering is cool when someone is slammed with work, but when it's the result of laziness ... no way.

In all honestly, I think I would have let them off the hook had the RA's guys genuinely apologized to James and Kayla, but they didn't. I'm a big advocate of a heartfelt apology. It really will cover a multitude of sins in my book. Without it, a do-over is in order. Not sure I'm right on it and in all actuality could poke some holes in it, but that's were I'm landing.

You have to inspect what you expect. And, when your inspection doesn't meet your expectation ... tough decision lie ahead.

Cadre Phoenix

Cadre Phoenix arrived on the scene in full force. What an incredible group of people! While it was a great bunch of days, it felt like I blinked my eyes once and they had arrived and departed. I had a good handful of AMAZING conversations that I won't soon forget. My prayer is that they were marked for all eternity. It was a packed house with 39 of the 40 showing up. To spoil them well, it continues to take about 2 MC/Staff to 1 Cadre ratio. The teams are off the hook. Everything went so smooth, right down to the Thanksgiving Feast.

The only negative part was getting a cold. My eyes are watering as I type and my voice sounds like an adolescent Micky Mouse. All is good though. After my 4:30 a.m. Cadre aiport run (I don't have students do anything before 5 a.m.), covering the financials for the board meeting and 02 small group night at Oxygen, I'm going to to home and go to bed. Life gets easier now for a few weeks. I'm ready for it for sure.

Bite Size

Cadre Phoenix is coming to town this weekend ... 40 strong. I met with the entire Master's Commission (MC) Atlanta team yesterday and just the 20 MC students on the Executive Team today. In the meetings beforehand, I always try to give them a leadership nugget to, hopefully, stick like glue in their heads and hearts. They are bite sized pieces of wisdom, not super profound but if they really get it ... it could change the trajectory of their life.

Yesterday, it was "vision leaks". I talked about how we often have to be reminded of why we do what we do. I had Nick share his letter to Jeanne from his first Cadre experience a year ago. There is nothing like a great story of life change to be reminded of why you do what you do.

Today with the Executive Team, it was "where goes the leader, so goes the people." I told them where they chose to go is where the rest of the team will follow. If they are energetic and have great attitudes (which they do well), so will the first years that follow behind them.

We started out today's meeting with things that have gone well at the Cadres. Fortunately there were many opportunities to reiterate the one phrase, "where goes the leader, so goes the people." Then, we shared a couple of areas we can make it even better. There is none finer than our MC crew. They really are the dream team.

Some Days

There are days it feels like I get absolutely nothing done...now I know why. Yesterday was one of those days. Then I realized I sent 67 individual emails, received 65, had 28 missed calls on my phone (8 of them were from looking for my phone that went AWOL for 24 hours) and a dozen missed text (which would be really low for the day, but most of the MC kids knew I was phoneless). I guess stuff gets done through email, calls and text, but it just doesn't feel like any "big chunks" are knocked out. I love communciation, but as Charlie Brown would say..."Good Grief."

Notes from Ten Thousand Horses by John Stahl-Wert / Ken Jennings

TEN THOUSAND HORSES by John Stahl-Wert / Ken Jennings
How Leaders Harness Raw Potential For Extraordinary Results

Preface
No issue recurs with greater pain and frequency than that of worker underperformance. Every leader knows that a full engaged employee can made an extraordinary impact on the success of the enterprise. Engaged workers show up with a commitment attitude; they bring their whole selves—all their experience, talent, imagination, brains and heart—with them to work.

The pain lies in the fact that engaged employees are the exception. The majority of workers in every business are disengaged or worse.

If you lead or manage people, you suffer from this pain. A few of your followers give it their all. Most of your workers, by contrast, are disengaged. They do the necessary minimum. They show up on time, do just what is expected, and leave on time. Far from bring their whole selves to work, they bring what they must, and no more.

Research by the Gallup Organization, for example, shows that only 29 percent of workers are engaged at work (that is, they display passion for and feel connected to your company and share their ideas with you for moving the company forward). By contrast, 71 percent of workers are disengaged (they essentially sleepwalk through the day, meeting only your baseline expectations, or in the worst cases they’re actively working to undermine your company’s performance). Do the math: 29 percent are engaged, but you pay them all!

On the other hand, the research shows that work groups that display high levels of employee engagement produce a …
44 percent higher-than-average employee retention rate
56 percent higher-than-average level of customer loyalty
50 percent higher-than-average safety record
50 percent higher-than-average productivity
33 percent higher-than-average profitability


The Climb of Trust
When we believe that we’re the savior of the day, that’s when we’re the most lost of all.
Don’t believe your press.

You assume that staff who don’t perform the way you expect know what you expect, or how to do what you expect. Do they? There needs to be a great deal of information exchange. Lots of communication. It helps to know whether they’re learning what you’re trying to teach them.

Tyler to John on why he had the courage to step off the side of a rock during a rock climb, “You were with me…You were off the edge of the cliff already, a couple of feet down, waiting for me.”

There’s a switch inside every person. The “off” position is “I’ll maybe do what I’m told while you’re watching me. But when you’re not watching me, I’ll do less than I’m told and maybe worse.” The “on” position is “I’ll do everything I possibly can to make a positive contribution. I’ll do it whether you’re watching or not.”

There are actions you must take—daily disciplined, consistent actions—if you want your team to really lock into what you’re wanting and where you’re going.

Personal character comes before professional capability. Always!
The problem with teaching about character, you see, is that you have to have it first.

Engagement Equation: E=T (close “say-do gap”) x 3C (close “paycheck-purpose gap”)

The T (Trust) is the character piece. It’s a multiplier, not an additive. Trust is what the leader gains by being trustworthy, by matching actions to words. We talk about “the say-do gap,” and it’s the leader’s job to close it.

And so we start with trust. Do what you promise. Be what you ask others to be.


Mounting the Challenge
We stress the importance of purpose-aligned goals, purpose-aligned plans and purpose-aligned decisions.

Vision statements are famous for living in drawers.

Our great purpose lives in daily discipline.

I could start the story by telling you what’s wrong with the kids we serve … but when it comes to addressing what’s wrong, you need a very different starting point. It’s not the right place to start. It never is. Around here we start with what’s right.

The first “C” in the Engagement Equation is “Challenge” (preparation stage)

The trust of an unbroken horse is hard to earn.

It’s still about your messages and how they need to match your intended actions. Make your gestures and your actions match in horse terms, and you’ll gain the horse’s trust.

If you can’t understand them or appreciate what it might be like to be them, these horses will never let you in.

A leader must have a (1) clear (2) vision. Why are we doing this? In other words, what’s the great purpose behind this effort?

There’s something about those horses (mustangs) that make ‘em want to run away. Mustangs need room. Mustangs need safety.

There are three parts to a clear “Challenge” (preparation stage) – plans, strengths, roles
Here’s the goal and plan.
These are the talents and strengths needed
Who’s going to do what, by when and so forth.

We spend most of our time on the strengths and roles part? What are you good at? Where will you do the most good?

When we work with the horses and the kids, we receive them as they are. We love them and we appreciate them. That’s our starting point.

When a leader prepares to get something done, he starts by asking people to contribute what strengths and assets they have to accomplish the plan. He fits the strengths together by assigning people to roles in which they can succeed.

These kids don’t gain a sense of worth by accomplishing goals. A sense of capability, yes, but not of worth. They gain a sense of their worth by serving on the teams of their classmates. When they realize that they’re important to someone else, when they serve someone else’s goals and dreams, that’s when the really good stuff happens. Matt asked himself, “How often did he invite any of his sales leaders to solve the leadership and performance problems he was suffering?” It had not occurred to him to do this. He was the leader after all. Wasn’t he the one who was supposed to give the answers? But David had just told him that the rally good things start to happen when leaders become RECEIVERS. Your team brings you value, and you must look for it and learn to appreciate what’s there, instead of focusing on what’s not there.


Directing the Charge
Around here, we call this the “stumble.” You and Alice stumbled, the price of your stumble is incalculable, and you haven’t’ been able to pay the bill. You’ll never be able to pay it, Matt. You need to know this. No heroics and no amount of effort can change this fact.

We receive new information about ourselves from others, and we also receive the strengths of others who want to help us achieve our goal.

Can you receive if you aren’t thankful? We get good stuff all the time, but if we have no appreciation inside of us, all the good stuff will just slip right through our fingers…

The second “C” in the Engagement Equation is Charge (implementation state)

In the implementation state we expect to make mistakes. It’s normal.

There are three parts to a clear “Charge” (implementation stage) – innovate, scan, adjust

Our focus is not having to be right … our focus is on constant learning.

We don’t engage kids through theory. We engage them in real life, real work, real projects

Watching Sara, Matt saw something in himself he never saw before. He had isolated himself. He hadn’t learned to receive—to let other help him. And, he hadn’t learned to RELEASE, to admit in an open way that things weren’t working. “Play it close to the vest” had seemed like strength.

Course corrections are normal. You have to let go of what’s not working … your mistakes too. Move on.

Big dreams inspire people. I motive people – I move people – by telling them a story that makes them want to do something. People love a good story, one with heart, heartbreak and hope.


Leading the Cheer
A goal achievement team could just as well be a married couple as a corporate division.

Am I loveable? People who really understand the grief felt by adopted kids sometimes call this the “primal wound.” You get one of two kinds of behavior. One, the child does things you don’t approve of to test if you’ll reject him. Two, you have to be perfect ‘cause you know that one screw-up and you’re gone!

Aiming in the right direction is one thing. Staying on course and remaining motivated to give your very best effort over time is another thing.

The third “C” in the Engagement Equation is Cheer (evaluation stage)

There are three parts to “Cheer” (evaluation stage) – measure, reward, (re)prepare

Learn to REJOICE

The evaluation stage, when carefully designed to reinforce your purpose and your plans, produces kids who finally start to act like owners rather than unwilling laborers. The celebration (cheer) locks the entire process in place.

Every positive step gets celebrated, every adjustment gets celebrated, and every abandonment of effort that isn’t working gets celebrated. We throw “That Didn’t Work!” parties right alongside “We Did It!” parties. If it helps us make progress, we cheer it.

I can’t explain it, but your credibility as a leader hasn’t been fully established until there’s a party. When you stick to your word all the way through to the party, your followers finally know that you really said what you said, meant what you meant, and want what you want.

Hope springs up from belonging and belonging is experienced in a circle of people who trust and rely upon each other. Each one has something to give. Each one is able to receive.

Home is what we call that place of belonging. When we search for our home, it is belonging we are searching for.

Create a culture of trustworthiness and welcome where it is safe to bring their whole selves to the adventure.

Leaders don’t actually ever engage people. People engage themselves. They do their part if we do ours. Leaders make the difference first—we set the stage

Ten Thousand Horses

I seldom read an entire book in a day. I wish I was one of those that did so frequently, but reading has always done one thing ... made me very sleepy. It almost feels like some kind of disorder that there might be a cure for. Today was different.

I love to learn, so I force myself to read, even though I feel I'm slow at it due to the daydreaming, sleeping and perfectionistic tendences to read ever word that results. So, I picked up Ten Thousand Horses (How Leaders Harness Raw Potential For Extraordinary Results) in the airport on my way home from helping a friend move to Lancing, MI this weekend.

Bottomline, it's great leadership prinicples wrapped up in a story of a leader who visits a ranch devoted to loving and working with kids in the foster care system. None of the leadership principles feel overly profound, but at the same time they are so often violated. It's an easy, easy 120 page read for adults and teens alike. I will post my cliff notes later this week.

Typical Youth Ministry Choices

On Friday, I took my asssitant, James, out to PF Changs with a couple of other MC students that have been blasting it out of the park. After stopping by the apartments, I get a call from one of them telling me there has been a four car pile up and three of them are MC students. Long story short, a lady slammed on her breaks ... MC student 1 hit MC student 2, which resulted in MC student 2 hitting MC student 3, which resulted in MC student 3 hitting the lady who slammed on her breaks. It was all bumper damage (with MC student 1 pretty much losing his). I was about 5 minutes behind them, so I pulled up to check when I found out one of the students driving had an issue with his license that they were in midst of clearing up. They were as nervous as a cat before a shower. What do you do? I've got four MC students by the road (one had another student with them) and I'm supposed to be at the church to help run Cadre orientation within 30 minutes. Everyone else was slammed with Retreat orientation. I call Jeanne and tell her, "I can get to the church or stay with them until the cops show up and see what they are going to do with MC student 2 and their driver's licenses issue, I prefer the later." She says stay. Long story short, they take MC student 2 to the country jail to run some routine checks. I make the hand-off to a support staff who had finished up with retreat orientation and I'm off to pick up the late arrivals for Cadre and the retreat center. I'm still not sure if I did the "right" thing by staying because Cadre orientation just went semi-smooth and not like clockwork. However, if I had to do it over again, I'm not sure I would do anything differently.

Vote

I voted today ... did you? I hope so. In other countries people lay down their lives in order to do so. It's that important!

A great, great weekend

Our retreat was this weekend, it was off the chain. Usually we have a full length drama, but this time around we brought in a speaker. His name was Robert Madu and he was AMAZING! We had the second year Cadre in town to observe the retreat and gather together on Monday for their normal VIP treatment and to download about the retreat. Robert decided to hang out with us for the day as well. He quickly became one of the family and is so hooked on it, that he is going to be a permanent part of Cadre Invictus. Good stuff.

Everyone left it all on the field. After long days and nights of retreat prep, the retreat itself and then serving all day on Monday ... all MC eyes, including my own, were droopy. We ended at 3:30 a.m. this morning and I, in all my brilliance, decided to do the first airport run. Normally, I leave it up to the MC gang, but with the long hours they put in I didn't want anyone to have to get up to do the 4 a.m. run. So after a 15 minute nap, I was in my car heading toward the hotel. I got her to the airport with no problem, but had to have the window down and the music blasting to get home ok. I pulled into my parking space, put the car in park, shut it off ... and before I could open the door, I feel asleep. I don't think it was for long, but got a good laugh out of it.