I'm the last one to listen to Jeanne's monthly resource - "Source" and "Youth Leader's Coach"- before it goes to Piper Media for duplication (which if Josh and I have anything to do with it, will be downloadable in the next few months) and Midwest Mail Works for mailing. This month had some bumps so I've had to send it back to the guys for tweaking, which has required me to listen to it not once but four times. After listening to it for the fourth time, I've come to the conclusion that this is a resource that should be on every youth pastor's shelf ... in fact, they should have multiple copies to hand out to students.
The title of the "Source" this month is "Guy Meets Guy ... Girl Meets Girl" and it's on homosexuality. Latest stats tell us that 30% of students today will at one point in their teenage years question their sexual identity. That's a significant percentage. It doesn't mean that 30% will adopt a homosexual lifestyle, but 30% will at some point question their identity. With that in mind, this resource is invaluable. Not because of the high percentage though, but because of the content within. The approach Jeanne takes in the resource is non-offensive, yet some of the most straight talk on the topic that I've ever heard.
I've got a couple of friends whom I love dearly that live a homosexual lifestyle, so I listen and read things through a different filter. I listen and read things with them in mind ... considering what they might think, how they might interpret what was said, etc. Now, the reality is I know that if we actually sat down and discussed it, while it would be a great conversation, we probably wouldn't influence each others thoughts. Nevertheless, they matter to me. And, the kids questioning their sexual identity matter to me. This is a CD that they need to listen to ... especially the three tracks "Answering the Question, 'Does this mean I'm gay,'" "The Root Issue: Unmet Emotional Needs" and "Breaking Away from Emotional Dependency."
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Hi Judy!
Thanks for dropping by my blog to visit. I stopped by yours again today and found this post very interesting. I would love to know where to get this once it becomes available. I'm assuming you'll post that info? I have been searching for a while to find a woman to read who is passionate for students. Your friend Adam recommended you to me. I've since added you to my blogroll and read your blog frequently now! Keep up the great work.
//TC//
You should know that I did consider whether or not you'd want me to comment but, since we both respect one another's point of view, I'm going to comment.
Discussing this issue won't change your mind? That line sounds vaguely familiar. LOL.
As for the homosexual "lifestyle", I would have to say that phrase just really makes me a bit crazy since it is such a stereotypical line. I think that stereotype relates much more to a person's age, relationship and parental status, than to orientation.
I always tell people that I'd love to tell them all about my "homosexual lifestyle" but it would probably bore them to death. Mostly, it involves taking care of kids and a home, shopping for groceries, cooking and getting kids to clean up their stuff and do their homework. This last week, I rearranged 2 rooms and put together a loft bed.
Still awake?
When people try to lump all gay people together into one lifestyle, it doesn't represent us as the individuals that we truly are.
As someone who's been in a comitted, monogamous relationship for more than 5 years, I take offense to that, mostly because it hurts my family and my kids. If you doubt that, read my daughter's comments before the SB Common Council. http://www.southbendin.gov/weblink7/DocView.aspx?id=1893&dbid=0 Her comments start on page 12 and I would challenge you to read them, as well as mine that follow. Think of it as working on reading more. LOL.
I know we will never agree on this issue and I can live with that. I'd just like you to try to understand the consequences of the rhetoric.
I would love to read the whole piece when it comes out. No pun intended. ;o)
Still love ya my friend!
Rhonda
Love you too my friend. It's kind of funny, the first time I wrote it "I called you my homosexual friend," but decided that didn't sound right either. I don't call people my "Latino friend" or my "Christian friend." I decided on my line not because of sterotype, but simply that I wouldn't care if you called me your friend who lives a heterosexual lifestyle.
Maybe should of stuck with my "friend who is a homosexual." You tell me, how would you have liked me to write the line? Seriously, willing to learn :)
P.S. I am ok with you commenting. Just remember I'm learning, so the more you can write without an "edge", the closer people will lean in. Regardless, know that I love you and that you matter a great deal to me ... and your family too :)
I know you're learning and I can understand that. I appreciate the opportunity for the dialogue. We all learn from one another. I also appreciate that younger people also read your blog so I always keep that in mind when commenting on your blog. My personal policy is that I never write anything online that I wouldn't want my own children to read.
I don't mind being referred to as being a gay friend. That's simply a fact. Of course, it's not always a relevent fact. LOL. In this case, it was.
What you are unknowingly doing is using a phrase ("homosexual lifestyle") that then becomes a stereotype. It is a phrase routinely used by the christian right to portray gays as having a "lifestyle" filled with alcohol, drugs and sleeping around.
The reality is that there is no "homosexual lifestyle". Our chosen lifestyles are as varied as the lifestyles of straight folks. Gay or straight, we are all unique individuals.
Think about your Christian friends and how varied their lifestyles are. Have you ever heard the phrase "Christian lifestyle"? What about "heterosexual lifestyle"? Why would anyone use that phrase for gays? Because it makes it easier for people to try to make us appear very different from the rest of society. It's a phrase that's often used to demean us. It causes harm to our families. I take the time to explain all of that because there's more to that phrase than you realize.
I understand that some think Denise and I being together is an issue of morality and I can respect that. I also disagree.
For me, we are simply two people who love one another, who are raising our family and doing everything we can to stay involved in our kids' lives. We focus on family, giving back to our community and society and trying to teach our kids those same values. Our lifestyle is the same as most of the straight couples we know.
I work hard for equality for individuals and families like ours and I would say from my experience that the greatest thing you have done for Denise and I is to simply treat us as you would anyone else, with respect. Believe me, not everyone extends even that and you have no idea how much that is appreciated.
Some believe that my being gay is damaging to me but, again, from my own experience, the most damaging thing I ever did to myself was to lie about who I was, to try to hide the truth. Living an authentic, honest life is important to me and living a lie almost destroyed me. Today, I am at peace with who I am and it shows in my life.
I understand that many kids today will question their orientation. I think that's because we're more open about that than we used to be as a society. It's OK (IMO) to question who you are. Emotions can be confusing, especially when you're young. Some who question when they're young will find they're not really gay. Others will find that they are.
I have already experienced the damage that comes when people tried to tell me that it was wrong for me to be gay. Personally, I think there's a lot of damage caused by our society when gays are treated as though they are less than others.
I don't know what's in the entire resource. I do know that the church has lost a lot of people because of a lack of acceptance of their gay brothers and sisters. I believe people will have to answer for that some day.
From what I have seen and experienced, I am instantly cautious about that. I sincerely hope that it is a resource that will help all of those who are questioning, not simply those who come up with the right answer. I say that with all due respect for both Jeanne and those it is designed to help. I have just seen too much to not worry about that.
I hope that makes sense.
Peace my friend,
Rhonda
Just to clarify my comment regarding the church, I don't believe that all churches, nor all Christians are hostile to gays. Unfortunately, there are those that are. The sad reality is that there are many who have left the church, myself included, over a lack of acceptance.
I was thinking about Luke 9:47-50 (NIV)
47 Jesus, knowing their thoughts, took a little child and had him stand beside him.
48 Then he said to them, "Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For he who is least among you all—he is the greatest."
49 "Master," said John, "we saw a man driving out demons in your name and we tried to stop him, because he is not one of us."
50 "Do not stop him," Jesus said, "for whoever is not against you is for you."
I always saw Jesus as an advocate for those who were marginalized by society. I can only wish that more people followed that example.
Again, I meant no offense toward you or anyone else by my comments on the church.
I just wonder sometimes what Jesus would have to say to those who have forced his children out of his church, or to even have caused harm to them.
It's that humanitarian in me that asks questions like that. If you're familiar with the Keirsey temperment tests, I'm an INFJ, which essentially translates into a humatarian activist. I have the same personality type as Ghandi and Eleanor Roosevelt. Personally, I think I'm in good company. ;o)
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