A month ago, a few friends heard about the schedule I would have to maintain in order to get everything done by Thanksgiving that I had said "yes" to. While they used words, they really didn't have to. Their eyes alone said something equivalent to "Are you nuts?"
It's been a whirlwind my friends. A month of working with no more than 3-4 hours a sleep a night (often times less) has left me beyond spent. The fact that I had to pinch myself on Thursday to stay awake while listening to one of my heros was my first clue, then I began seeing two of him (double vision is a trip). On Friday when I couldn't sit down because I desperately feared falling a sleep despite my surroundings, I knew I was in serious trouble (could be because after double vision day I only had 45 minutes of sleep that night). I remember a long time ago hearing about how a presenter fell asleep during his own presentation, on Friday (while I didn't) I had a new understanding how that could possibly happen. To say I was beat, would be a significant understatement.
However, there were great moments that occurred during that time that I will cherish forever. Speaking to 130 women on Genesis through Numbers and getting comments like "now I get it" left me inspired to work on a few things that have been rolling around in the back of my head for months. Giving a message on choices to a boatload of middle school students using a boatload of scripture was refreshing and reminded me how much I love to study God's Word and get new takes on things. Despite the predicament that I got myself into, having a number of old friends and new friends ask "How can I help?" left me encouraged and feeling warm and fuzzy.
Then there are some events where there was no other option than to go on autopilot, which I feel much regret. However, as God so often allows, I will get a "do over." Although time will be the true test, I think I got this lesson down. While I really don't want to live a balanced life, I do want to live a "healthy" life. "Healthy" would not have been a word you would have used to describe my life over the last month, but now I'm on a quest for it. While I know I will never fully arrive, I am committed to doing better. Once again, time will be the true test.
If you're interested in some reminders, when you are exhausted...
... your emotions are raw, really raw (fortunately I am relatively good at holding my tongue or I would have verbally (and regretfully) slaughtered a few people and left casualties along the roadside).
... your reaction time is significantly slower.
... your ability to think on your feet is almost non-existent.
... words don't come out of your mouth right.
... relationships are taxed.
... important people feel... and are...neglected.
... instead of enjoying what you do, your whole focus is just getting through the "next" event.
Life isn't meant to be lived that way. Sprint, sprint, sprint, sprint...rest is not cool; however, sprint...rest, sprint...rest, sprint...rest, sprint...rest is! That's all I have to say about that!
In the meantime, thanks Karen, Chris, Wendy, Carole, Loretta and so many others that had my back in so many ways.
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