I'm Comfortable in My Skin

I've been thinking through some things lately, so this blog is more for me than for you.

I continually want to take my "next step". I want to grow wiser, get better and all that good stuff. I don't know if it's age (I'm very close to being yet another year older) or what, but for perhaps the first time in my life, I'm rejoicing about who I've become. Instead of wishing this or that, I'm content with who I am. Maybe it will last for a moment, maybe for a day, hopefully, forever.

One area I'm content in is my leadership. Don't get me wrong, I've got a lot of growing to do and a lot of insecurities to get over, I'm not arrogant or naive enough to believe otherwise. I could give you a list of my weaknesses, but would rather not. However, here are five areas where I've discovered who I am and where I land, despite whether others around me agree is correct thinking in regard to leadership.

1. I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty. I have this theory that leaving a room as good if not better than you got it is just plain the right thing to do. After the kids are gone, I still help clean up until the job is done and the lights are turned off. Granted I have a team that helps make it a whole lot faster, but I think there is something in them seeing me flush toilets, clean tables and take out the trash. Some would say that me vacuuming is not a good use of my time and, if I did a whole lot of it, I would agree with them. However, a few minutes here and there, keeps me grounded, keeps me humble and reminds me of how I got to where I am today. I like that about myself.

2. Some would say that all of your time and attention should go to the leaders of leaders, to which I agree...kinda. While I try to focus on the leaders of leaders the most, I ensure that those behind the scenes, who may not feel like they matter as much as the high profile person, get my prayers and attention too. I try to be very intentional about telling them how grateful I am and how much what they're doing matters - that what they do does not go unnoticed. I like that about myself.

3. I'm conservative, but not oblivious to what's going on around me. Someone once told me that I don't see what's next, but what's five years up the road. I see how one decision will lead into the next and where that will take me or someone if we venture down that road. I could go into a thousand different ways on how that affects my decision making, but I won't. However, I will say that it's prevented a lot of train wrecks from happening in my life and I like that about myself.

4. I'm loyal to the core. Sometimes what people who matter most to me do drives me absolutely insane, to the point where I feel like throwing in the towel on the relationship. However, I've watched people throw in the towel and have realized that once you throw in the towel the first time, it's easier to do it the next...so I just refuse and I like that about myself.

5. One of my areas of giftedness is in discernment and problem solving. I see things in body language and hear things in voice tones that others don't. This lends itself to being a good problem solver and the one people look to when "issues" arise. Someone recently told me "Judy, you're good at that. It's shaped based stuff." My first thought was, "I don't think I want that shape, often times it's not very fun." Upon further thought, despite how draining it can be, I've decided I like that about myself...at least for the moment.

This is not meant to be an ego stroke kind of blog. I'm not sure where I've landed is even right, but it's who I am...and I'm ok with that.