Article - Mr. Clinehands Theology

I was asked to write another article for simply youth ministry or youthministry.com (they've kinda blended now, so don't know where it will appear). Here was my attempt...

Mr. Clinehands Theology

To this day I remember the water rocket contest my Sunday school teacher, Mr. Clinehands, held when I was in 6th grade. Whoever could launch the water rocket the furthest won a pair of skates. And, back in the day, that was a pretty big deal. Mr. Clinehinds didn’t choose to hold the competition at the church, but instead he'd set up a time to stop by our house so we could launch it in our own yard. He'd only stay about 15 minutes under the premise that he was there to simply watch and measure the launch.

A decade after entering youth ministry, I had an ah ha moment about Mr. Clinehands one day. I never thought of him as a youth ministry strategist, but I think that’s exactly what he was. I think Mr. Clinehands held the whole contest so that he could get a feel for what kind of home and parents his Sunday school kids had. It was the perfect "door opener" - parents didn't feel pressure, the kid didn't feel pressure and he didn't feel pressure.

Here are a couple principles in youth ministry that I think Mr. Clinehands figured out...

1. The potential for long-term impact skyrockets when you reach parents. We are better at impacting kids than parents because we're just naturally more comfortable with kids. However, if we can reach the parents too, our long-term impact on a kid dramatically increases.

2. Impacting the parents begins with meeting them. And, chances are you have to go to them, they're not going to come to you. The problem is that most of our leaders are scared to death of parents. The unspoken question is, "What do I say?" The water rocket serves like a Coke can when you're uncomfortable at a gathering. In some weird unexplainable way, we feel more comfortable hiding behind a little Coke can. In this situation, if the conversation doesn’t naturally jump start, you can just stare at the water rocket flying through the air.

3. Parents need you on their team. Parents need another voice telling their kids the exact same things they are telling them. Even if they aren't Christians and concerned with spiritual things, they know other people teaching their kids etiquette and morals is necessary. In an unconscious way, they can observe it when they hear you say things to their kid things like, "Let's pick up the pieces and put the hose back" after the launch. Hopefully, after you leave they have a private ah ha "I like this guy/girl. I think they can help me with my kid" moment.

4. Whether you impact the parents or not, you need them on your side. Typically, they won't be a champion of someone they don’t know. So, if you do it right, the more they know you, the more they'll trust you. As trust grows, their willingness to get their kid to where you are, like a small group or youth ministry, suddenly becomes more of a priority.

5. Finally, open lines of communication are essential in deepening relationships and, ultimately, affecting life change. Through it, you might actually get a glimpse of what's going on inside a parent’s and/or kid’s head and heart.