Orange - Part 2 - Partnering with Parents

This session was INCREDIBLE...

PARTNERING WITH PARENTS
Parents want someone to come alongside them and help equip them. They have this overwhelming responsibility to raise their kids morally and spiritually, but they don’t know how to do it.

I. Problem:
1. We have come to believe that faith and character can be outsourced. It’s not serving us well. Average church has 40 hours with a kid each year, an average working parent has 3,000 hours.

2. In the past 50 years, even churched families have come to believe that dropping off kids is enough to guarantee the spiritual and character formation of their children.

3. As a result, we have raised several underequipped generations of Christian parents and grandparents who do not know how to equip their children in faith and character. They can’t teach them what they do not know (ex. A father with math)

II. The Growing Gap Between Church Leaders and Parents:
1. 85% of parents with children under age 13 believe they have the primary responsibility for teaching their children about religious beliefs and spiritual matters while 11% said their church is primarily responsible.

2. 96% of parents with children under the age of 13 say they have the primary responsibility for teaching their children values.

3. Only 19% of parents with children under 13 have ever been personally contacted or spoken to by a church leader to discuss the parents’ involvement in the spiritual life and development of their children.

III. The Opportunity:
The church may be sitting on the greatest evangelism opportunity in decades. Every parent has at least given thought to, if not spent time lying awake at night, is my child going to be alright.

IV. The Temptation
1. The number one temptation among church leaders is to view family ministry as simply another program that the church runs or a staff member the church needs to deploy

2. Family ministry synchronizes church leaders and parents around a master plan to build faith and character into their sons and daughters.

The master plan is focused on the five principles of Orange.
Integrate strategy – Is what we are doing transferable, easily accessible and irresistible?
Refine message – Teach less for more
Elevate community
Reactive the family
Leverage influence

3. We want to help you think through one aspect of that master plan that will help you move from information based ministry to influence based ministry as church leaders and parents partner together.

V. Moving from Information to Influence
1. Approximately 80% of children walk away from the church/faith when they walk away from their parents.

a. Our assumption: If children have the right information, their faith and character will be appropriately shaped before they leave home. Information alone is not enough (ex. Coke vs. water - go for Coke even though you know water is better, cigarette package warnings don't keep people from smoking, etc.)
b. Reality: Our attempts at information may not be addressing the life issues of children or their parents.
c. Reality: Information alone does not lead to transformation.
What happen to cast in Eight is Enough? How many elephants are in a heard? Who cares
Teaching the whole Bible to children may not be the best approach.
Moral failure prevention may not be our first and best strategy.

2. If an approach focused on information would give way to a strategy that engages the critical influences that shapes every child’s future, we believe our success will increase significantly.

3. (THIS IS REALLY GOOD) The six influences answer, or better yet, resolve six life six life questions that every child asks at some page of his or her development. By focusing on these six influences, six life changes, and developing a matter plan to deal with them, church leaders and parents are better positioned to shape and influence, the heart, mind, soul and future of a child.

Six influences that shape every child’s future, six life questions every child asks, default influences, Orange principles(s) and strategy.

1. Six Influences That Shape Every Child’s Future: A really big God I can trust no matter what.
Six Life Questions Every Child Asks: Who am I?
Default Influences: It must be about me. It must be about me.
Orange Principle(s) and Strategy: Refine Your Message. Elevate Community. First Look.
1. God made me. 2. God loves me. 3. Jesus wants to be my friend.

2. Six Influences That Shape Every Child’s Future: A burning light that leads to truth.
Six Life Questions Every Child Asks: What’s true?
Default Influences: Whatever
Orange Principle(s) and Strategy: Refine Your Message. Elevate Community. 252 Basics.
1. I can trust God (a really big God). 2. I need to make the wise choices (a burning light). 3. I should treat others the way I want to be treated (a compelling mission).

3. Six Influences That Shape Every Child’s Future: Nosey parents who make it their job to know where their kids are.
Six Life Questions Every Child Asks: Who really cares?
Default Influences: Nobody, really, nobody
Orange Principle(s) and Strategy: Reactive the Family

4. Six Influences That Shape Every Child’s Future: Another voice that sayds the same thing my parents say.
Six Life Questions Every Child Asks: Who else believe in me?
Default Influences: Whoever can use me.
Orange Principle(s) and Strategy: Elevate Community

5. Six Influences That Shape Every Child’s Future: Someone else who is going in the right direction.
Six Life Questions Every Child Asks: Where do I fit in?
Default Influences: With the people I get to like me.
Orange Principle(s) and Strategy: Elevate Community

6. Six Influences That Shape Every Child’s Future: A compelling mission that lasts a lifetime
Six Life Questions Every Child Asks: Why am I here?
Default Influences: To get what I want? (Reality, when I get it I don’t want it anymore)
Orange Principle(s) and Strategy: Refine Your Message. Leverage influence. XP3.
1. Inviting wonder (a really big God) 2. Provoking discovery (burning light) 3. Fueling passion (a compelling mission)

VI. Maximizing Influence
1. At every level of your family ministry, think about how you can leverage all six influence that shape the life of every child for maximum impact at church and at home.

2. One example would be to rethink our Family Experience at a new level. Our strategy is:
a) Once a month
b) Off Sunday
c) Separate the parents and the kids (for a few minutes)
d) Talk directly with the parents (parents lounge)
e) Focus on one of the six influences

3. Parent lounge sample discussion. Ex. Favorite Five on cell phone. Who does your child have on their Favorite Five that would say the same thing you do? Rite of Passage. Spend one day with each mentor. At then end of the time, gathered together for a feast, kid wrote a card telling each one what they meant, prayed for son, gave each mentor a Bible.

VII. Your Challenge
1. Rethink family ministry strategy at a master level to move church leaders and parents onto the same page.
2. Rethink how the six life influences can be leveraged at every level both in content and strategy to prepare children for the life God has called them to.