On Teaching Your Child to Impact their World - Part 2

PRINCIPLE #2 - WHAT GETS REWARDED, GETS REPEATED.

This means more and more to me each day. It's a loaded phrase. Most people think of a "reward" as being something of a more tangible nature. I think the best rewards have nothing to do with being tangible. If fact, for me personally, tangible is too easy - busting a twenty out of the wallet just doesn't cut it. I think kids are more interested in being rewarded with your TIME and your ATTENTION than tangible things (they might not know it or say it, but they are).

Here's a question, "What actions, attitudes, words and deeds are so important to you that you will get STRATEGIC about rewarding them to ensure they get repeated." Feeding the cat...not so much (however, good for the cat and might be necessary to keep the cat), telling the truth when they easily could have chosen not to...ginormous, thinking of others over themselves...priceless.

In my opinion, two of the best rewards for kids are when you...
1. Take the time to SHOW THEM WHAT'S IMPORTANT BY DOING IT WITH THEM. It's the whole "it's more caught than taught" principle. Better yet, make certain things a family traditon...make them a "big deal". An example might be, "I wouldn't think of doing anything the Second Saturday of the month. It's already blocked out. That's when me and my dad begin by serving in the community somewhere and then go have lunch at our favorite restaurant in our favorite booth."

I remember, like it was yesterday, the day my dad let me and my sister skip school in 4th grade to go fishing. I felt loved and important that day. It was huge. It would have been cool if it would have became a family tradition (not that fishing is important, but a day fully devoted to being together is).

2. Send them a handwritten note, capture it in a picture or look me them in the eye and tell them HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU and/or HOW MUCH IT MEANT TO YOU (once again, reinforcing an action, attitude, word or deed). I catch myself doing "fly bys" way too often..."You're awesome!" as I fly by on the way to wherever I'm headed. That's not wrong because they really are awesome; however, most kids are dying to know "Really, you think so...I hope you think so...I hope I am so...tell me specifically why you think so?" Look them in the eye and say it, write it down for them to read and reread, capture the picture worth a thousand words to illustrate it and authentically tell them why.

Chances are when they go off to college, in their room you'll find they still have the letter (a little more worn than before) and the picture is still sitting on top their dresser...but better than all of that is what you will have instilled in them as young men and women Christ followers.

What kind of actions, attitudes, words and deeds are most important to you? Have you ever thought about it? What gets reported, gets repeated!