Words can't even begin to describe

My world was rocked last weekend. I think my life was transformed. We'll see. Time will tell whether it's the real deal or a spiritual/emotional high. I think it was the real deal. I want it to be the real deal. If the drive home was any indication, it was the real deal.

I did four things on the way home.

1. Drove in awe of God's creation. The colors on the trees had totally changed, like my heart, from when I drove down to when I drove back. It was beautiful, more beautiful than words can describe.

2. I listened to Hillsong's United We Stand song #6 and #10 at least 15 times each. They were the theme songs used at the retreat this weekend and the last Cadre. They penetrated heart and ministered to my soul.

3. I listened to Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis twice. Evidently he did a "Doubt Night" at his church where people were encouraged to write down whatever questions or doubts they had about God. He captured my heart when he said, "Most of my responses were about how we need others to carry our burdens and how our real needs in life are not for more information but for loving community with others on the journey. But what was so powerful for those I spoke with was that they were free to voice what was deepest in their hearts and minds. Questions, doubts, struggles. It wasn't the information that helped them-it was simply being in an environment in which they were free to voice what was inside." In light of my new job responsibilities over student small groups, that was huge.

4. Reflected on the weekend. Jeanne Mayo continues to amaze me. Her heart's desire is that "those that know her best would love her most." The closer you get to her the more amazing she gets. She sent me one of the most encouraging email today I think I've ever received. It's the kind of email you'd want to receive from one of your heroes. It's the kind of emails I want to begin writing.

My prayer, whatever is going on inside of me right now would stick. My inner circle sense a transformation has occurred. I hope so.