Elf Yourself

Ok, this made me laugh like crazy. If you ever wanted to see what three of my amazing friends and I would look like bustin' a move with pointed toes, then go here.

Calling Time Out

It was sunny and 82 degrees today. Far too nice to be inside, so I headed to Stone Mountain this afternoon for some time with Jesus ... it turned out to be time with Jesus, ducks and the squirrels. I can't believe I've lived here over 5 months and have just now explored this place. It's beautiful beyond words. While there, I read the book of Job ... a very interesting read after coming off a hard couple of weeks. Pictures are below.

A Great Quote

The years will teach you what the days will never know.
It's one of Jeanne's favorite Emerson quotes. I love it!

The Audience That Day and The Days Prior

LAST REFLECTION ON THE FUNERAL

Officiating my dad's service was a tough call. I wanted to do it, thought I could do, but didn't know if I could pull it off. It's been a redeeming moment in the midst of tragedy.

I got a lot of "great jobs," so it felt good and right. In fact, when Jeanne read it beforehand she wanted me to promise to make an annoucement sometime at the dinner afterwards that "I don't do funerals." I told her, "don't be silly." She told me, "I'm serious." When I got a number of requests afterwards, I realized she was serious. It was very honoring and kind of funny at the same time. My greatest compliment came from my aunt, she said "Judy, if you had a church, I'd come and listen to you every week. I didn't even want to get up to go have a cigarette." That little comment meant the world to me and makes me smile even as I write. However, nothing compares to what I realized afterwards. I didn't think about it at the time, but there were three different families in the room that day directly affected by previous suicides of their brother, sister, son and daughter. My hope and prayer is that, though my open and honest communication, something resonated in their hearts that they can hold onto.

LAST REFLECTION ON MEDICAL CARE
I've been told that we've got the potential for a lawsuit. That's not the kind of person I am, but I am one to learn from mistakes - my own and others - in an effort not to repeat them. Some asked about my father being in ICU just a month ago. Here's the story...

The drug, Seroquel, that he took for his bipolar disorder was skipping a few beats. The doctor thought a sleep aid would do the trick. Well it turns out when he mixed the sleep aid with the Seroquel, it resulted in either Serotonin Syndrome or Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome. Basically his body turned toxic on him and he went into a catatonic state. He was in ICU for a week with oxygen levels all over the chart. Obviously at that point, they took him off all his meds. They did a gazillion tests and came up with nothing. After about 4-5 days he started coming out of it. However, when he was better, instead of starting him on Seroquel again without the sleep aid or something else, they released him and put him on nothing - a guy who previously was on high doses of an anti-depressent, now on nothing ... what was his doctor thinking? In my gut, I knew that didn't seem right and should of questioned it further ... what was I thinking? In hindsight, I should of pestered and pursued other experts.

All that to say, trust doctors but if the answers don't seem quite right, be relentless ... don't give up and don't give in ... Michelle and Rob had to do it with Isabelle, Jeanne and Josh have to do it with Monica, and we should have done it with my dad. I'm not going to sue, but I am going to learn.

Four Things You Don't Say At A Funeral

From what I'm told, people say silly things at funerals that aren't really helpful and that I should be grateful my list is only four long. Fortunately, God has given me the ability to laugh, not weep, over them. Here they are...

1. "Judy, I just think it did something to him when you moved down to Atlanta."
2. "He often talked about how much he missed his daughter."
3. "I'm sorry the demons got him."
4. "The demons went through him to get at you Judy."

Now here is the reality, all of these statements were said by people I love dearly who simply weren't thinking (especially the last one).

The only reason I post them is for you to be able to counsel people that are in a similiar situation on what words well-intentioned people might say that could catch them off guard.

Funerals are one of those awkward times in life where words can come out of your mouth and the minute you say them, you wish you could take them back. Hundreds of people said the right things. Just in case you are wondering, here are a sampling of the right things...

1. "I don't know what to say, just know I love you."
2. "My thoughts and prayers are with you."
3. "If you need anything, let me know."
4. "You were a phenomenal daughter."

Not Bad Dr. Phil

I've read on the stages of grief before, but never really experienced them. I think I've been camping in the ANGER stage, yet still feeling like the whole thing is surreal. While I would never do it, I frequently have the urge to chuck something at the wall. Last night on the ride back to Atlanta, I had the overwhelming urge to top out the speedometer at 140. Of course, I'm much too practical for either. I know whatever I break I have to clean up and that's a whole lot of points on your license for going 70 mph over the speed limit.

The other thing I've learned is when there is a suicide there is enough guilt to go around and it's far to easy to camp there as well. I've got my share that Jesus and I are wrestling with.

This is what Dr. Phil had to say on grief.

According to Dr. Phil, the biggest challenge people who have experienced loss will deal with is getting their minds around what they are facing. If you are in the grieving process, you can expect to go through these four stages:

1. Shock: Feeling numb. You may wake up wondering, "Is this real?"
2. Denial: Being unable to accept the situation. You may find yourself thinking, "This can't be happening. It's not real."
3. Anger: Wanting to lash out at everyone. You may continually ask, "How can this happen?"
4. Resolution: Feeling like there is a way past the grief, an end to the sadness. You may say to yourself, "I will get through this."

During the grieving process, you may feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster ride, but things will get better if you allow yourself to heal. Dr. Phil suggests that you keep the following in mind:

Accept the things that you can't control. "There's something that's happened in the evolution of life in our current society that leads us to arrogantly believe that we run this world — and we don't," says Dr. Phil. "We've got to be accepting of those things we don't control."

Find meaning to your suffering. Don't allow yourself to be devastated for no reason, no meaning and no purpose. "You've got to create some value to the pain that you experience in your life," advises Dr. Phil. "It may be nothing more than helping those who are further back down the trail than you are. It is a process. It is an evolution. If you use your pain and what you've been through in your life, it won't seem to [be] such nonsense."

Suicide - Addressing the Elephant in the Room

At 1:20 p.m. on Thursday, November 29, while on a Cadre conference call, Jay came in to tell me, "Your mom and sister have been trying to get ahold of you, it's an emergency." I then made the worst phone call of my life. My sister informed me on the other end of the line that my dad had committed suicide. My niece had found him and, at the time, they were all standing outside his house waiting for the police to get through. All that I remember repeating over and over again was, "I'm on my way home, I'm on my way home, I'm on my way home."

Jeanne wanted to put me on a plane. I wanted to drive. Out of concern for me, she wanted to put someone in the car with me for the 11 hour drive, I wanted to be alone ... I needed to be alone. I needed 11 hours with Jesus to cry, scream, beat the steering wheel and be silent.

The next four days were a blur. While I don't remember many of the conversations, the text, calls and emails flooded in. I came away thinking, "Wow, am I loved." My friends, family and church could not have expressed love any better.

I decided to do my father's funeral. I knew he would want me to if I could. With the Lord's strength I was able to pull it off. Afterwards, my sister said, "When did you decide to tell everyone he committed suicide? It's ok ... really it is ... I think it was important, but you are usually a more private kind of person than that." I told her, "Honestly, it never even came across my mind not to tell." Most already knew anyway. I guess, with out thinking, I thought I'd address the elephant in the room. What I spoke at my dad's funeral is below.

I once was at a 10 a.m. funeral and the pastor began by telling us “good mourning.” I will never forget those words, because… as he would begin to explain, he wasn’t talking “good m-o-r-n-i-n-g” (like we would say before noon) but good “m-o-u-r-n-i-n-g.”

Good mourning means taking the time to celebrate the memories you’ve been given that will forever be impressed upon your heart. It doesn’t mean that you have to deny the fact that, while being temporarily parted, you will miss someone dearly. But be grateful for what will live on in your heart long aft a loved one departs for chapter two of their life, be grateful and mindful of what will live on after you depart for chapter 2 of your life.

While it’s 2 p.m. in the afternoon, I want to say Good Mourning to you as well. While my father has passed away, may you not think of his final days so much as the great days gone by. So today, cry some, but allow yourself some time to smile and laugh over the memories. In fact, I give you permission to, even in the next few moments.

As so many of you expressed yesterday, you loved my dad and have fond memories of him on the golf course, at the club, putting labels on Oasis envelopes or working at Dodge the 40 years he was there. We, his kids, have lots of fond memories as well.

One that my sister will always remember happened earlier this year. While she was on task force with Marriott in Florida for a couple of weeks, the South Bend Marriott back home, where she’s given 25 years of her life, was important and dad knew it and was proud of her because of it. The regional vice-president was coming to the South Bend Marriott for a visit and the office area was in desperate need of a fresh coat of paint. She knew that she was in trouble when the people responsible to make it happen took 8 hours to do ½ a wall. So Sherri gave dad a 9-1-1 call from Florida and he came to the rescue and painted and painted and painted some more while she was away. While he had to pop aspirin and put on a lot of Ben Gay afterwards, he got the job done and done well. She was grateful and will forever remember those moments in time.

Moments that my brother will always remember happened a couple of years ago when houses were being reassessed. My brother got an astronomical tax bill. Under my father’s guidance, my brother took on the tax man. He took pictures of the houses around him, talked about the nasty road and how the trains honked every 15 minutes. By the time he left the tax assessors office, he was paying less in taxes than even before the reassessment. My father was proud of him for that, my father was even more proud that my brother continues to live in the house that he built in 1981.

Perhaps, the one that will forever be emblazed in my head and on my heart was when I was in fourth grade. In fourth grade my dad did the most bizarre, out-of-character thing I’ve ever seen him do before and since. He let my sister and me skip school and had us go fishing with him. We started the day by stopping at this little hole-in-the-wall grocery and bait store where we picked up worms, Pepsi’s and hostess cupcakes. It was a great day of fishing, with few on the lake, which was a good thing because when little girls drink Pepsi on a boat, eventually they have to go pee and since we don’t have the equipment to go over the side of the boat, I remember peeing in a bucket. That day I didn’t care, my sister didn’t care, and my dad didn’t care for we were fishin’ … together. My most recent memory was him and I playing the last game of Eurche at Chris’ house the day after Thanksgiving. We took it for a win. It was a great evening with my dad and my friends.

As far as Thanksgiving itself goes, just one day earlier, it was a day of food, friends and family. I had worked some long hours leading up to it and we had buried my cousin’s son, Brian, the day before so it was a pretty quiet holiday. After Thanksgiving dinner, my dad, my friend Loretta, her mom and I sat in front of Sherri’s big screen TV and began watching the first season of the TV series “Heroes.” I was so tired I think I fell asleep half of every episode I watched. But I was awake long enough, to watch the character development of a small Chinese or Japanese man named Hiro … H-I-R-O. Hiro had the ability to bend time … he could stop it, start it, go forward or backward.

In one episode it was love at first sight with this waitress. The problem was that quickly after meeting her, while he went to the restroom, she was in the storeroom being murdered. Hiro spent the rest of the episode trying to go back in time in order to prevent the death from happening. He wanted to change the circumstances, he was so wishing for a “do-over.”

Have you ever wished for a “do-over?” I have countless times! Obviously, last weekend was one of them. Knowing what I know today, I would have done things a lot differently with my dad. However, this wise person once told me “Judy, wish in one hand and poop (well that wasn’t exactly the word they used) … wish in one hand and poop in the other and see which one fills up the fastest.” Some of you are thinking, Judy that’s sick. It’s sick, but it sticks. At least, it’s stuck with me for years. I don’t “wish” for a lot of things, I go after what I want. I’ve been told on more than one occasion, “Judy, you are a make it happen person.” Why? Because wishing for something doesn’t get you very far and leaves you empty handed. Wishing for a do-over Thanksgiving weekend is not going to get me very far and it’s not going to get you very far.

More than one of you over the last few days have said to me, “Judy, I wish I would have known just how much your dad was struggling. I wish I had done more.” As do I, but hindsight is always 20/20. But know this my friends, know this my family, know this church when you look in the mirror and reflect, the words you should say to yourself aren’t “I wish…” but “well done.”

1. To the countless who went to his bedside while in ICU just a month ago, well done.

2. To those who have called and checked in, took him to dinner, played cards … well done.

3. To my brother, who took him into his home after his release from the hospital and tried your best to love and serve him, in your own Randy kind of way, well done. Then prepared his home for re-entry with a new storm door, rewiring the stove and getting the leaky fawcet fixed because you knew it bothered him, well done.

4. To my sister who took him to church with me before I moved to Atlanta and without me after the move, then out to lunch afterwards … starting a new family tradition … well done.

5. To my niece who moved in with him last Sunday to try and provide some support and company, well done.

6. To my mom, who with her own divorce pains, stopped in and checked on him, fed the cat who has a bottomless pit and cleaned the bathroom tub for him on her hands and knees, among numerous other things, well done.

7. To my friends, who loved him, prayed for him, took him meals, stopped and talked even though it was awkward for you because he really didn’t want to talk, well done. You know over the last several days my sister said more than once “Judy, you have great friends!” Boy do I know it!

Given the outcome, while it doesn’t “feel” like “enough” right now, family you did well, friends you did well, church you did well. Let yourself off the hook that my father hung himself on. If you don’t, more than one person will have surrendered true life this past Thursday morning.

You’ve got to understand my dad struggled with being bi-polar for years. I never took “mental illnesses” very seriously, always thought with a little “self-talk,” you should be able to pull yourself out of anything. Didn’t take it very seriously that is until I lived with it up close and personal with my dad who was always solid and strong … stubborn … but solid and strong.

The most recent days weren’t his first bout with it. I remember a year and a half ago, when he was deep into a depressive swing. Often times when I’d come home late at night after work, I found myself stopping by his door…My honest goal? I stopped to make sure he was still breathing. His snoring never sounded so good. Those were tough, tough days. Recently … tough, tough days came as well. The swings from manic to depressive were becoming more frequent. Normalcy seemed illusive.

While simple, I process the whole thing this way. When someone is being tormented by another, there is usually opportunity to flee. However, when you are being tormented by your own mind, and the medicine is not working, or poorly administered, and, for some reason, answers to prayers are not coming fast enough, there is no place to flee. In the midst of his despair, he saw no way out. And, while I will never believe suicide is a solution to any situation … hear me, any situation! … I do not know what it’s like to live with a tormented mind that you can’t shut off.

Just for the record. Do I believe he’s in heaven with Jesus, yes I do. Do I think Jesus holds my father’s suicide against him, no I don’t … he was a sick man, he had cancer of the mind and it won a temporary victory.

While I expect it to unfold, I can’t see the big picture of how all of that is happening right now plays out for any good, but I do know this … I can choose to allow this situation to make me bitter and mess me up for the rest of my life… or I can choose to become better. I’ve been around the block enough to know that, figuratively, bitterness will leave me hanging on the hook right alongside my father. So today and every day, I will choose to allow difficult situations, even ones as difficult as this, to make me better. In particular, I choose to try to love better – love Jesus better and love people better - everyday. I don’t care if the people that I choose to love better the world considers the cream of the crop or the bottom of the barrel.

Every day, I want to try and love Sarah better, Josh, Dee and Ashlyn better, Sherri and Randy better, my mother better, my friends better, the rest of my family better. And now let me be very transparent: I’m up here today because I want to love you better. It would have been far easier to have asked someone else up to speak today…someone that many of you probably would not have known personally. But I thought you might be able to hear better from me … So I decided to love you better today by sharing myself. And somehow, I hope that my choice to “love you better” sends you out these doors today more determined to “love others better” in your own life.

For me, when it comes to trying to figure what it means to “love better,” I look to Jesus. Most of you don’t know this but from about 16-24, before I met Jesus, I was so angry at my dad. I hated his guts and wasn’t afraid to let him know it. I knew I was in trouble when a friend asked me right after I asked Jesus to be the leader and Lord of my life, “Judy, do you even want to see your father in heaven.” When I couldn’t answer that question with a resounding “yes,” I knew there was work to be done. And over the last 20 years, Jesus did that work and helped me to forgive and be forgiven. But I’m still a punk, less of a punk than 20 years ago, but still a punk. In my sin, I’m still a know it all … I still want to write my own story on how things should be even though sometimes I’m too stupid too know how things should be. I need help figuring out how to “love well.”

There are verses in the bible that help me. Verses I think we waste on weddings alone, but really apply to every relationship everyday. In 1 Corinthians 13 it says,

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I’ve given it to you with magnets so maybe you can put it on your fridge.

At the bottom of it, it asks two simple questions…
How did you do at loving people well today? … and …
Who do you need to call or text?

I’m going to leave you with one last true story...
When my father was in the Navy somewhere near Spain, they came across a boat that was capsized. There was a mother in the water going under quickly, desperately holding her baby in the air. My father grabbed the baby first, and in the instant that it took to get that baby in the boat it was too late for the mother. She went under.

No matter what he did, my father couldn’t save the mother. My point? We couldn’t save my father … but we CAN make a difference in our babies’ lives. Some of our babies here today are 3 and some of them are 33. Some are biological and some are simply people God put in your sphere of influence. Seriously, the only thing we can do today that really matters for all eternity is choose to love better than we did yesterday. Love Jesus better and love others better. So that someday someone can say to our loved ones “Good Mourning” and countless things about us will have been impressed upon their hearts.

Cool Videos

One of the things I miss down here in the ATL is watching Corey's videos. Some people are "talented" in this area, but he is beyond that and in the "gifted" category. Not only is he gifted, he's as fast as lightening creating them. I admit having a little "friend-vy" in this area. You can see some of his work here.

Row Host and Testimonies - More Ideas to Steal

Tonight rocked for two reasons...

1. Row Hosts. Once a month we do something called "row hosts" where a couple of assigned adult or student leaders bring treats for their students in their 02 Group (Eagle's Nest). It can be something as simple as candy canes/Nerd's Ropes/miniture candy bars or as extravagant as fried rice/hot chocolate/baked goods. It doesn't stop there. Often times, the plain old chairs are covered in cloth and Christmas lights are hung. The students love it. The only potential problem I see is if one group is more creative than another. However, the hospitality giftings seem to be pretty evenly spread, plus there is some heatlhy competition that comes with it. I discovered in Atlanta that Jeanne and the team have redefine the words "going all out."

2. Testimonies. Since the retreat was the weekend before Thanksgiving, we postponed doing the testimonies the Wednesday after retreat (i.e. the day before Thanksgiving) until this Wednesday. When it comes to who gets to speak, they don't let just anyone come up. They have leaders and students jot down at the retreat three people who seemed impacted most from their group. Then from those nominated, the staff chooses one from each of the 02 Groups (Eagle's Nest) to represent (of course, giving them a call first to make sure they are interested). 02 pride comes through when their representative gives their testimony... creating, once again, momentum. The words coming out out of these students mouths were powerful ... three for sure were preachers in the making. They closed the time by recreating the last scene of the drama.

The whole night was a beautiful thing. I loved how it was programmed. The only thing I would change are the words "row host" and "testimonies," but then again what do I know. I'd probably call the testimony time, "tell your story" or something like it. I have no idea what I'd rename "row host." Whatever their names, they both are a really, really, really good thing.

August Rush

Went with some friends last night to see August Rush. While every scene was underdeveloped and far-fetched, I loved this movie. It had some potential youth ministry clips in there as well ... every student wants to be "found" and know he/she is not a "freak or loser." Other than the fact that August was born out of wedlock (the only way you know they had sex was the fact that she got pregnant; otherwise, it just looks like they fell asleep together and both woke up fully dressed), it is 100% clean.

I Heart Atlanta - Part 2

Thanksgiving in Indiana: Mostly rainy, snowy and gloomy. Temperature: 30-40 degrees.

Post Thanksgiving in Georgia: Mostly warm and sunny. Temperature: nearly 70 degrees.

Crave 07

Crave 07 Fall Retreat was spectacular. I don't think I've ever experienced worship like I did on Saturday night. It truly marked me as I saw middle school students on their faces without prompting from the stage. Our middle school gang, over 40 strong at the retreat, is pictured above.

The drama Dave wrote was beyond excellent, hilariously funny and heart penetrating at the same time. In addition to the worship and drama, the highlight for me was the discussion groups. Jordan and Missy did an amazing job at preparing the guides. Even the most inexperienced discussion group leader couldn't help but to succeed. I'm constantly learning here and can't help but to compare how we do things in Atlanta with how we did things at Granger. I dream of what it would look like if we blended the best of both worlds together.

A couple of things off the top of my head...

1. At Granger, I liked how well we kept track of kids. Everyone had their 5 or 6 who went everywhere together. There was a system here, but not as fool proof as up north.

2. In Atlanta, the discussion guides (front cover below) were off the chart, packed with great questions and visual aids/illustrations, which enabled every break out time to be maximized to the fullest. They had in mind where they wanted the discussion groups to go and helped leaders get their students there. Like I mentioned, even the least experience leaders couldn't help but succeed. In addition, there was a rallying of each 02 Group (Eagle's Nest) at the end that was helpful, powerful and effective. I never fully helped to realize the potential for Eagle's Nest (02 Group) pride up north. Down here we've got symbols, shout outs, events, etc. It's a big, big deal and creates momentum like I've never seen.

3. At Granger, while it was camp and not a retreat, I liked the rallying of the leaders for training, encouragement and discussion the night before. It helped to ensure we were all on the same page and questions were answered. They rally the leaders here as well, but I got thrown into the mix late so I didn't get to take part. Originally, I was going to just take care of the second year Cadre who were observing the retreat, but because of the number of middle school students attending, jumped into the discussion group leadership mix.

4. In Atlanta, the display of the Arts is untouchable. It was as good, if not better, than any ATF like gathering I've ever seen. 98% of the teaching was communicated through the drama and video clips. Students were totally engaged. Seriously, very few people even left to go to the bathroom.

5. At Granger, I like the idea of having a director(s) roaming around with the sole responsibility of making sure everything and everyone's needs are being met. They have it in Atlanta as well, it's just different. All the key point people have groups as well, which has huge pros but a few cons to it as well.

6. In Atlanta, the retreat is a big deal. It's the thing "everyone" goes to and brings a friend to, which is probably why this youth ministry of 250 had over 300 at the retreat. They've discovered momentum. In addition, they did a couple of things I'd never thought of before. For instance, they had a VIP night as part of a Wednesday night before the retreat for those who had signed up and paid early. It wasn't just some soda, pizza and Oreos...they went all out with baked goods, different flavors of floats, etc. Their promotion pieces were off the chart as well.

Those were just some thoughts. Over the next few days, I'll give you a peek into some other happenings that I haven't had time to blog about. As far as Thanksgiving goes, it was all a blur. My family and friends were gracious enough to let me sleep through most of it. Exhaustion was an understatement. You know you looked bad when your sister tells you as Thanksgiving break progresses that you are looking better every day. The first full day home, I dozed off at least nine times. While the last six weeks were taxing, I can honestly say I absolutely loved every minute of it (except for the unexpected 5:30 a.m. Cadre airport run last Monday after going to bed a half hour earlier, that was a little rough). Fortunately I got a lot of rest over the break and the days ahead are much lighter for awhile. I'll be taking some time to breath deep.

Rippin' It Up Junior High Style in the ATL

Ok, I'm pretty stoked, we had 32 kids tonight in our Junior High 02 Group (42 with leaders), four times more than when we started two months ago. What is even cooler is that 29 of them are signed up to go on the retreat this weekend. I laughed to myself when I looked around the room tonight, 31 of the students were Latino or African American and one 1 was white. An exact opposite of what I had up north. I had no idea what their names were, so I took their pictures tonight. I laughed again when I tried to spell their names ... Chardonay, Nephtaly, Saba, Vonciel, Baqi, Cree, Tanisha .... I love this place!

I'm going to have "dance" this weekend. We've got another 35 youth pastors in the second year Cadre coming in to observe the retreat starting tomorrow and then debrief, among other things, on Monday at Jeanne's house, and I just got word that they need me to run a rap (discussion) group. I'm cannot tell you how excited I am to actually spend some significant amount of time with some of our students this weekend, but wonder how well I'll do at the balancing act. Save the turkey, I think I'll be sleeping through Thanksgiving.

I Heart Atlanta

Just looked at weather.com for our retreat this weekend. Right now there is a 20 degree difference in temperature between Georgia and Indiana. I think I'm going to like winter weather this year!

Four Things I Know

Wednesday night a Cadre member and I went out to breakfast at midnight and she asked me to share what I believe are the secrets to success. I wasn't feeling profound, so here are my four simple ones.

1. Take care of your leaders and your leaders' kids. The second half of that statement is a big deal that few realize!
2. Do breakout groups every week in your ministry, but only if you are going to work hard to put the right leaders with the right kids.
3. Get kids serving in areas close to their SHAPE! People just about drop their jaw when I tell them we had 50 kids we rotated through on the lighting team.
4. Fight for unity and fight hard.

Another Cadre member asked me about teaching middle school students. I told him I started preaching a five point message, then went to three points, then one ... and finally landed with the best sermon is one that can be summarized in 3 or 4 words that have the power to evoke an unforgetable message/picture in your head.

Put the Paint Brush Down!

I think I finally got it ... like fully got it, got it. I have this quick leadership lesson called "Put the Paint Brush Down!" where I talk about me on missions trips always wanting to be the "do-er." It took me forever to learn to put the paint brush down to make way for someone else to serve ... to instead choose to be the eyes and ears of the team in order to meet their needs, to make sure they feel like they are playing a significant role and, perhaps more importantly, to make sure they are replicating themselves.

So, today I met with all the Cadre Executive Team leads to talk...
1. About the people we've met and the lives that have been impacted.
2. About what we did right at the last two Cadres.
3. What we can improve upon.

I shared briefly what I saw and heard, and wanted to continue to see and hear, from them...
1. Continued practice in putting the paint brush down to train up first years students who need a helping hand in the back because they are new and young.
2. Being a true team where they jump in even if "it's not in their job description." No silo ministry here. They are already AMAZING at this one.
3. Them to schedule their own team meetings to vison cast the "why" behind the "what", ensure their people know the details on "where" they are supposed to be "when", etc. I asked that the "staff direct report" (Laurie or I) be at five out of a dozen of those team meetings. Everything rises and falls on those five key teams, so any support we can lend I think will be helpful.

All and all, we had a great and productive two hours together. They truly are amazing leaders. And, it was fun for me to just to be the vision caster and eyes and ears for the team. I think I am finally "getting" my own leadership lesson.

Cadre 2 of 9 Done!

I'm convinced the Cadres are pretty much one of the best things this side of heaven. We finished the second one of nine (I thought it was eight, but it's nine) at 3:30 a.m. Wednesday morning (right before the airport runs began).

The dyamics of each one are different, all great, but different. My friend, Rachel, from Arizona was part of this one so I especially enjoyed it. My favorite conversation was with Joe Lee (seen below with Jeanne). We talked all the way back from the field trip about minsitering to African American youth. He works for a Granger/Willow/Saddleback style church in Maryland that has a large percentage of African Americans. I laughed when he called them Saddleblack. He's brilliant in so many ways. Our conversation was so incredibly helpful in regard to the culture I am ministering in now. I'm grateful for the open and honest questions he allowed me to ask.

I've been working for Jeanne over four months now. Her brilliance continues to "wow" me. Even when she fielded the last question at 3:30 a.m., the wisdom that flowed out of her was incredible. Words cannot express how fortunate I am to rub shoulders with someone of her caliber on a daily basis. By the way, my red face in my picture below is not an indication of high blood pressure, but is a true sun burn. We had the "Pumpkin Bowl" on Saturday and I fried my face. Getting a sunburn in November, without going on vacation, was weird. However, it then turned friged last night and felt more like Indiana.

This is an interesting stat, it took 87 people to spoil 40 youth pastors for two ridiculously full days. I love it! The Cadre for second year members is in seven days, better get back to work :)

Wrecked

For Oxygen tonight, we did about an hour drama tonight entitled "wrecked." It was well done and perfect for Halloween night. Privately I prayed for record attendance, but realistically wondered if we'd hit our norm. I was pleasantly surprised and grateful for the record attendance. Even better, we had scores of students make a decision for Christ.
Flat out wonderful!

So on a side note, I got one ticket in 27 years and then got two in one week. I'm trying to decide if I fight, plead, beg my way out of any in court. Did you know that making a left hand turn when the sign says you can't (even if there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to) gets you 3 points on your license in Georgia. They are very serious about their "No left turns". The latest one will get me another 2 points. I missed the sign on the toll road when it goes from 70 to 55 mph by Valpo. Needless to say, got busted doing 70 in a 55. Having travelled that road a gazillion times, for the life of me I don't remember seeing the 55 sign this time around. But, I was late for the airport and talking with my mom while I drove so I guess I just missed it.
Big miss!

Update on my dad. He is doing MUCH better! No diagnosis, so I guess we'lll chalk it up to a bad mix in medicine. The day I left he was moved from ICU to a regular room. The bonus was that he got his "words" back. Three of the four days I was there he could totally understood what I was saying, knew what he wanted to say, but couldn't get more than a word of it out.
Freaky!

Junior Doctor

So, I'm leaving for home tomorrow and the doctors are still clueless on what's wrong with my dad. After an EEG, EKG, full MRI and Spinal Tap they still have nothing. The latest thing they checked for is the West Nile Virus (told you they were clueless)

Anyway, so I got on the internet tonight and searched for five minutes. I've got a diagnosis and, while still painful, would be funny if I were right. My prediction is Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome as a result of the Seroquel that he takes. Do you think if I'm right the doctors will give me part of their cut? I didn't think so either.

Honestly, I just want him better. Having your dad calling out random numbers and other things mid sentence is pretty weird. In his delirium, he's either at bingo, the boat or playing pool. All I know is he's got "eight and nine," the "stick is broke," and the "the ball is red or blue."

In the meantime, I'm working like crazy trying to get all the "big chunks" I need done by Sunday, done by Saturday noon. For my reward, I got a "illegal turn" ticket on my way home from work this morning while trying to avoid the 285 traffic. I was guilty so I didn't even try to fight it. It's the end of the month and I think the Dekalb police department failed to meet their quota. While I was waiting for my ticket, I saw three other cars get pulled over.