New Year's Resolutions in Bite Size Chunks

I taught about Resolutions in Sunday School (somebody should rename that beast) this morning. I've got four I'm leaning in on. Actually, there are a dozen, but I've narrowed it down to four ... figured that's enough to focus on in any given year.

One of my resolutions is to read more. 2007 was a horrible reading year for me with all the my life, job and geographic changes. I decided to be "resolved" a little early, but figured that's ok. I listended to Malcolm Gladwell's Tipping Point on the way home yesterday and over Christmas began Carly Fiorina's Tough Choices. Great stuff. I'll give you the cliff notes to Carly's book within the next month. While I'd love to read a book a week, I'm setting my goal at reading one book and listening to another each month. By the end of the year, I should have digested 24 books. While not huge, a bite size chunk I think I can handle.

Wow What a Day (or do you count that as two?)

Back home, rather than doing Christmas presents, some friends and I decided to get a couple of hotel rooms at the Marriott, have dinner at the Emporium, swirl around in the whirlpool and just enjoy each other's company. There were eight of us, so it was a cool little party. We went to bed kind of late (at least for them :) ) at around 1 a.m. I proceeded to wake up bright-eyed at 4:30 a.m. thinking about one of my old Oasis students, Jami, who lost her dad two weeks ago. Thoughts were swirling around in my head on what we could do that might actually help ... even in a small sort of way. I thought, prayed and came up with a game plan (too many times I've thought and prayed and never followed through, lesson learned along time ago on that one). So I headed downstairs to begin to put the plan into action, adding it to an already busy day ... take a look.

6:45 a.m. Purchased stuff in the gift shop for some gifts and checked email in the lobby

7:30 Josh called and was puking his guts out. He had to leave the hospital to go home. Asked if I could get his van over to Elkhart General in case baby Sarah got released (she was a little dehydrated from the flu, which she proceeded to give Josh. All is good, she is home).

8:00 - 10:00 Got the keys, got the van, drove to and from EGH, watched the baby while Dee took a shower at the hospital, then dropped Loretta back off at the hotel

10:15 -11:45 Met with Seth and Sarah, got caught up and talked about what we think God's dream is in each of our worlds. Awesome friends, some of my favorite people to dream the dream with.

12:00 - 2:00 p.m. Met with Rhonda, Denise, Danielle, Jami (who lost her dad), Loretta, Bob and Karen for lunch at South Bend Chocolate Cafe. In the middle of it, took a time out to do a short call with Andy over at Simply Youth Ministry to talk about Jeanne's portion of youthministry.com stuff. Gave Jami different gifts God laid on my heart. It wasn't a ton, but I hope it helps in a couple of different areas. Great friends and great fun all around.

2:15 - 3:15 Checked out of the hotel, drove to vet to talk with her on Zach's diagnosis and picked up his medicine. I should of asked for a script for CVS; vet charged me $30 for 30 pills, could of got it for $18 at CVS. Lesson learned, don't get your animal medicine from the vet if they have the same stuff at the pharmacy (which we learned with Ben, vets can write a prescription for). Between vet bill and medicine, forked out $225 to find out that Zach has what I figured out from the internet ... a hyperthyroid. NOT great fun for me or Zach.

3:15 - 4:30 Met with Naomi and we talk about "knowing God's will for your life." Wonderful friend, fun discussion.

4:30 - 6:00 Met with Rachel from Arizona and talked about youth ministry, life in general and her first year in the Cadre. Once again, amazing friend, good times getting caught up.

6:00 - 7:00 Tossed all of my clothes and stuff at my sister's house into my car and picked up stuff for party at Chris' house. Forgot some stuff, but sister had my back.

7:00 - 12:30 a.m. Had a blast with 60-70 AMAZING friends. Mike, Scott and I aren't in town much, so we like to see people in masses when we come home.

12:30 - 1:30 Stopped at my mom's house to drop off Zach's medicine and some paperwork.

1:30 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. Drove home to Atlanta, needed to be home by 3:00. Normally only an 11 hour trip, but needless to say took some naps along the journey

Ok, after all that ... can you say STUPID! What in the world was I thinking? I'm going to bed now. Oh, wait a minute, what about all that stuff in my car and, oh yeah, have to teach Sunday school in the morning. Oops, better get to work.

While I'm in cold, snowy Indiana for the week enjoying time with family and friends, right before I left Atlanta we did a fun outreach night. One of the transition videos between short dramas can be seen here. The guy playing the Christmas tree is Alex and, while he's silly here, is one of the most amazing worship leaders. I describe him as "the guy who when he opens his mouth, heaven comes down." The other guy in the picture above is Vinny. Vinny is a first year Master's Commission student who seems quiet and reserved. However, he is a total comedian on the stage. With any luck maybe I can get Sterling to post some of Vinny's stuff from the fall retreat where he and Grant stole the show.

MASTER'S COMMISSION ATLANTA

The FIRST YEAR MASTER'S COMMISSION ATLANTA pics from the Christmas Party are below, along with the staff's pic. Eventually, I will post the second and third year MC ATL pictures as well.

While I absolutley love, love, love working with youth pastor's in the CADRE, these students have been a pure joy and make me laugh and smile so often each day. While I don't walk with them on the academic side every day, I do spend considerable time with them between projects, Cadre and other activities. For some reason, God has granted me favor with a lot of them. It would be cool if every church in America, remotely doing things right, would run one of these (of course, only if they are going to do it well...which is no easy task). The work load to teach, train and manage them is enormous, but the outcome - should you be willing to deal with a few more dings in the wall and stains on the carpet - is revolutionary. Between what we do with the Cadre and MC ATL, it really does feel like the MULTIPLICATION EFFECT at its finest hour.

Cool Coversations

I just had the most amazing conversation with five Master's Commission students at 10 a.m. at night, all standing and sitting around my relatively small office. There was so much energy and excitement in the room I could hardly stand it. I spent an hour dreaming, vision casting and encouraging them on what it means to "champion" people and projects ... what it looks like, how it's played out, how it's evidenced in your life... In the end, I'm not sure who left more on fire ... me or them. It was a cool night.

Dealing with the Desert Times and Alliance

Early, early this morning I listened to the final edits of Youth Leader's Coach for December. It's called Dealing with the Desert Times. All I can say is WOW ... hands down one of the top five most powerful, and helpful, messages I've ever heard.

Great quote and thoughts from Alliance's Leadership Team Meeting today...

It's far too easy to be a full-time minister but a part-time follower of Christ.

Jesus made himself of "no reputation". He chose not to claim His rights as God.

What rights did you "choose" to give up last year?

What do you do when you realize you are the most important person in the room? At the Last Supper, Jesus chose to wash people's feet.

Another Great Jeanne Quote

A divided church will never conquer a unified Hell.

Maximizing Your Mission Trip Experience

Matt and Julie Cooper



Matt Cooper with Back2Back Ministries was on the Epic Conference Call today. As expected, he knocked it out of the park. He now has a new fan in Jeanne. Here were my highlights from our time with him...

1. He answer the question, "Are short-term missions even helpful?" He told the story of how the kids at the orphanage wanted to make scrapebooks, as they had seen some of the women on the base make. The ladies were worried. They wondered, "What pictures would they have to put in them?" Long and short of it, when they went to do them, a girl pulled out a box of pictures of herself with the various teams that had come through. These were some of her prized possessions, most memorable moments. I loved the way he answered the question through a story ... totally dug it!

2. He did this cool visual with a clock, talking about Experience, Reflection, Changed Heart and Action. Often times we don't go any further beyond a "Changed Heart," basically the moutnain top expereince of a mission trip. He said the mountain top experience will be gone within 30 days, if we don't help them with "Action" steps upon their return.

3. He said that icebreakers and team building exercises are good, but serving together beforehand is even better ... have them do a Habitate project or something like it before they get there. Get them together and focus on something other than themsleves. Teams that bond well beforehand hit the ground running. Those that don't, it takes 3-4 days of their trip just to do that.

4. He encouraged them to find an organization that will take care of the details, so they can do ministry and not worry about what's for dinner and who is going to get it. I don't think he realizes how hard it is to find organizations that do that well. Back2Back has beat every organization I've worked with hands down.

5. If possible, get pictures and names of kids at the ophanages/ministry location ahead of time so that they can pray, prepare, etc. By doing so, a bond is formed even before your students get there.

6. He talked about making sure to know the concerns of your parents. It affirmed my "know and answer the questions before they are ever asked" mentality.

7. He mentioned "mission trips are pressure cookers for growth." Amen. Liked that saying.

8. Look for ways to involve other students and people in your church, to make them feel more a part of the trip.

9. Expect to be ministered to. As you pour out, you'll be poured into as well.

10. Keep great track of travel documents. If you're not good at it, admit it ... and hand off the job.

The only thing I cringed at is when he said, "Be flexible. We've found that students do fine with change, but adults don't." I totally knew what he meant when he said it, but have found organizaitons to use that line when they haven't done their homework. Fortunately, Back2Back is not one of them. They do the front end work, so youth ministries can maximize their mission trip expereince.

Well done Matt Cooper! You, Julie, Bill and Heather are loved and have fans in the ATL.

Elf Yourself

Ok, this made me laugh like crazy. If you ever wanted to see what three of my amazing friends and I would look like bustin' a move with pointed toes, then go here.

Calling Time Out

It was sunny and 82 degrees today. Far too nice to be inside, so I headed to Stone Mountain this afternoon for some time with Jesus ... it turned out to be time with Jesus, ducks and the squirrels. I can't believe I've lived here over 5 months and have just now explored this place. It's beautiful beyond words. While there, I read the book of Job ... a very interesting read after coming off a hard couple of weeks. Pictures are below.

A Great Quote

The years will teach you what the days will never know.
It's one of Jeanne's favorite Emerson quotes. I love it!

The Audience That Day and The Days Prior

LAST REFLECTION ON THE FUNERAL

Officiating my dad's service was a tough call. I wanted to do it, thought I could do, but didn't know if I could pull it off. It's been a redeeming moment in the midst of tragedy.

I got a lot of "great jobs," so it felt good and right. In fact, when Jeanne read it beforehand she wanted me to promise to make an annoucement sometime at the dinner afterwards that "I don't do funerals." I told her, "don't be silly." She told me, "I'm serious." When I got a number of requests afterwards, I realized she was serious. It was very honoring and kind of funny at the same time. My greatest compliment came from my aunt, she said "Judy, if you had a church, I'd come and listen to you every week. I didn't even want to get up to go have a cigarette." That little comment meant the world to me and makes me smile even as I write. However, nothing compares to what I realized afterwards. I didn't think about it at the time, but there were three different families in the room that day directly affected by previous suicides of their brother, sister, son and daughter. My hope and prayer is that, though my open and honest communication, something resonated in their hearts that they can hold onto.

LAST REFLECTION ON MEDICAL CARE
I've been told that we've got the potential for a lawsuit. That's not the kind of person I am, but I am one to learn from mistakes - my own and others - in an effort not to repeat them. Some asked about my father being in ICU just a month ago. Here's the story...

The drug, Seroquel, that he took for his bipolar disorder was skipping a few beats. The doctor thought a sleep aid would do the trick. Well it turns out when he mixed the sleep aid with the Seroquel, it resulted in either Serotonin Syndrome or Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome. Basically his body turned toxic on him and he went into a catatonic state. He was in ICU for a week with oxygen levels all over the chart. Obviously at that point, they took him off all his meds. They did a gazillion tests and came up with nothing. After about 4-5 days he started coming out of it. However, when he was better, instead of starting him on Seroquel again without the sleep aid or something else, they released him and put him on nothing - a guy who previously was on high doses of an anti-depressent, now on nothing ... what was his doctor thinking? In my gut, I knew that didn't seem right and should of questioned it further ... what was I thinking? In hindsight, I should of pestered and pursued other experts.

All that to say, trust doctors but if the answers don't seem quite right, be relentless ... don't give up and don't give in ... Michelle and Rob had to do it with Isabelle, Jeanne and Josh have to do it with Monica, and we should have done it with my dad. I'm not going to sue, but I am going to learn.

Four Things You Don't Say At A Funeral

From what I'm told, people say silly things at funerals that aren't really helpful and that I should be grateful my list is only four long. Fortunately, God has given me the ability to laugh, not weep, over them. Here they are...

1. "Judy, I just think it did something to him when you moved down to Atlanta."
2. "He often talked about how much he missed his daughter."
3. "I'm sorry the demons got him."
4. "The demons went through him to get at you Judy."

Now here is the reality, all of these statements were said by people I love dearly who simply weren't thinking (especially the last one).

The only reason I post them is for you to be able to counsel people that are in a similiar situation on what words well-intentioned people might say that could catch them off guard.

Funerals are one of those awkward times in life where words can come out of your mouth and the minute you say them, you wish you could take them back. Hundreds of people said the right things. Just in case you are wondering, here are a sampling of the right things...

1. "I don't know what to say, just know I love you."
2. "My thoughts and prayers are with you."
3. "If you need anything, let me know."
4. "You were a phenomenal daughter."

Not Bad Dr. Phil

I've read on the stages of grief before, but never really experienced them. I think I've been camping in the ANGER stage, yet still feeling like the whole thing is surreal. While I would never do it, I frequently have the urge to chuck something at the wall. Last night on the ride back to Atlanta, I had the overwhelming urge to top out the speedometer at 140. Of course, I'm much too practical for either. I know whatever I break I have to clean up and that's a whole lot of points on your license for going 70 mph over the speed limit.

The other thing I've learned is when there is a suicide there is enough guilt to go around and it's far to easy to camp there as well. I've got my share that Jesus and I are wrestling with.

This is what Dr. Phil had to say on grief.

According to Dr. Phil, the biggest challenge people who have experienced loss will deal with is getting their minds around what they are facing. If you are in the grieving process, you can expect to go through these four stages:

1. Shock: Feeling numb. You may wake up wondering, "Is this real?"
2. Denial: Being unable to accept the situation. You may find yourself thinking, "This can't be happening. It's not real."
3. Anger: Wanting to lash out at everyone. You may continually ask, "How can this happen?"
4. Resolution: Feeling like there is a way past the grief, an end to the sadness. You may say to yourself, "I will get through this."

During the grieving process, you may feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster ride, but things will get better if you allow yourself to heal. Dr. Phil suggests that you keep the following in mind:

Accept the things that you can't control. "There's something that's happened in the evolution of life in our current society that leads us to arrogantly believe that we run this world — and we don't," says Dr. Phil. "We've got to be accepting of those things we don't control."

Find meaning to your suffering. Don't allow yourself to be devastated for no reason, no meaning and no purpose. "You've got to create some value to the pain that you experience in your life," advises Dr. Phil. "It may be nothing more than helping those who are further back down the trail than you are. It is a process. It is an evolution. If you use your pain and what you've been through in your life, it won't seem to [be] such nonsense."

Suicide - Addressing the Elephant in the Room

At 1:20 p.m. on Thursday, November 29, while on a Cadre conference call, Jay came in to tell me, "Your mom and sister have been trying to get ahold of you, it's an emergency." I then made the worst phone call of my life. My sister informed me on the other end of the line that my dad had committed suicide. My niece had found him and, at the time, they were all standing outside his house waiting for the police to get through. All that I remember repeating over and over again was, "I'm on my way home, I'm on my way home, I'm on my way home."

Jeanne wanted to put me on a plane. I wanted to drive. Out of concern for me, she wanted to put someone in the car with me for the 11 hour drive, I wanted to be alone ... I needed to be alone. I needed 11 hours with Jesus to cry, scream, beat the steering wheel and be silent.

The next four days were a blur. While I don't remember many of the conversations, the text, calls and emails flooded in. I came away thinking, "Wow, am I loved." My friends, family and church could not have expressed love any better.

I decided to do my father's funeral. I knew he would want me to if I could. With the Lord's strength I was able to pull it off. Afterwards, my sister said, "When did you decide to tell everyone he committed suicide? It's ok ... really it is ... I think it was important, but you are usually a more private kind of person than that." I told her, "Honestly, it never even came across my mind not to tell." Most already knew anyway. I guess, with out thinking, I thought I'd address the elephant in the room. What I spoke at my dad's funeral is below.

I once was at a 10 a.m. funeral and the pastor began by telling us “good mourning.” I will never forget those words, because… as he would begin to explain, he wasn’t talking “good m-o-r-n-i-n-g” (like we would say before noon) but good “m-o-u-r-n-i-n-g.”

Good mourning means taking the time to celebrate the memories you’ve been given that will forever be impressed upon your heart. It doesn’t mean that you have to deny the fact that, while being temporarily parted, you will miss someone dearly. But be grateful for what will live on in your heart long aft a loved one departs for chapter two of their life, be grateful and mindful of what will live on after you depart for chapter 2 of your life.

While it’s 2 p.m. in the afternoon, I want to say Good Mourning to you as well. While my father has passed away, may you not think of his final days so much as the great days gone by. So today, cry some, but allow yourself some time to smile and laugh over the memories. In fact, I give you permission to, even in the next few moments.

As so many of you expressed yesterday, you loved my dad and have fond memories of him on the golf course, at the club, putting labels on Oasis envelopes or working at Dodge the 40 years he was there. We, his kids, have lots of fond memories as well.

One that my sister will always remember happened earlier this year. While she was on task force with Marriott in Florida for a couple of weeks, the South Bend Marriott back home, where she’s given 25 years of her life, was important and dad knew it and was proud of her because of it. The regional vice-president was coming to the South Bend Marriott for a visit and the office area was in desperate need of a fresh coat of paint. She knew that she was in trouble when the people responsible to make it happen took 8 hours to do ½ a wall. So Sherri gave dad a 9-1-1 call from Florida and he came to the rescue and painted and painted and painted some more while she was away. While he had to pop aspirin and put on a lot of Ben Gay afterwards, he got the job done and done well. She was grateful and will forever remember those moments in time.

Moments that my brother will always remember happened a couple of years ago when houses were being reassessed. My brother got an astronomical tax bill. Under my father’s guidance, my brother took on the tax man. He took pictures of the houses around him, talked about the nasty road and how the trains honked every 15 minutes. By the time he left the tax assessors office, he was paying less in taxes than even before the reassessment. My father was proud of him for that, my father was even more proud that my brother continues to live in the house that he built in 1981.

Perhaps, the one that will forever be emblazed in my head and on my heart was when I was in fourth grade. In fourth grade my dad did the most bizarre, out-of-character thing I’ve ever seen him do before and since. He let my sister and me skip school and had us go fishing with him. We started the day by stopping at this little hole-in-the-wall grocery and bait store where we picked up worms, Pepsi’s and hostess cupcakes. It was a great day of fishing, with few on the lake, which was a good thing because when little girls drink Pepsi on a boat, eventually they have to go pee and since we don’t have the equipment to go over the side of the boat, I remember peeing in a bucket. That day I didn’t care, my sister didn’t care, and my dad didn’t care for we were fishin’ … together. My most recent memory was him and I playing the last game of Eurche at Chris’ house the day after Thanksgiving. We took it for a win. It was a great evening with my dad and my friends.

As far as Thanksgiving itself goes, just one day earlier, it was a day of food, friends and family. I had worked some long hours leading up to it and we had buried my cousin’s son, Brian, the day before so it was a pretty quiet holiday. After Thanksgiving dinner, my dad, my friend Loretta, her mom and I sat in front of Sherri’s big screen TV and began watching the first season of the TV series “Heroes.” I was so tired I think I fell asleep half of every episode I watched. But I was awake long enough, to watch the character development of a small Chinese or Japanese man named Hiro … H-I-R-O. Hiro had the ability to bend time … he could stop it, start it, go forward or backward.

In one episode it was love at first sight with this waitress. The problem was that quickly after meeting her, while he went to the restroom, she was in the storeroom being murdered. Hiro spent the rest of the episode trying to go back in time in order to prevent the death from happening. He wanted to change the circumstances, he was so wishing for a “do-over.”

Have you ever wished for a “do-over?” I have countless times! Obviously, last weekend was one of them. Knowing what I know today, I would have done things a lot differently with my dad. However, this wise person once told me “Judy, wish in one hand and poop (well that wasn’t exactly the word they used) … wish in one hand and poop in the other and see which one fills up the fastest.” Some of you are thinking, Judy that’s sick. It’s sick, but it sticks. At least, it’s stuck with me for years. I don’t “wish” for a lot of things, I go after what I want. I’ve been told on more than one occasion, “Judy, you are a make it happen person.” Why? Because wishing for something doesn’t get you very far and leaves you empty handed. Wishing for a do-over Thanksgiving weekend is not going to get me very far and it’s not going to get you very far.

More than one of you over the last few days have said to me, “Judy, I wish I would have known just how much your dad was struggling. I wish I had done more.” As do I, but hindsight is always 20/20. But know this my friends, know this my family, know this church when you look in the mirror and reflect, the words you should say to yourself aren’t “I wish…” but “well done.”

1. To the countless who went to his bedside while in ICU just a month ago, well done.

2. To those who have called and checked in, took him to dinner, played cards … well done.

3. To my brother, who took him into his home after his release from the hospital and tried your best to love and serve him, in your own Randy kind of way, well done. Then prepared his home for re-entry with a new storm door, rewiring the stove and getting the leaky fawcet fixed because you knew it bothered him, well done.

4. To my sister who took him to church with me before I moved to Atlanta and without me after the move, then out to lunch afterwards … starting a new family tradition … well done.

5. To my niece who moved in with him last Sunday to try and provide some support and company, well done.

6. To my mom, who with her own divorce pains, stopped in and checked on him, fed the cat who has a bottomless pit and cleaned the bathroom tub for him on her hands and knees, among numerous other things, well done.

7. To my friends, who loved him, prayed for him, took him meals, stopped and talked even though it was awkward for you because he really didn’t want to talk, well done. You know over the last several days my sister said more than once “Judy, you have great friends!” Boy do I know it!

Given the outcome, while it doesn’t “feel” like “enough” right now, family you did well, friends you did well, church you did well. Let yourself off the hook that my father hung himself on. If you don’t, more than one person will have surrendered true life this past Thursday morning.

You’ve got to understand my dad struggled with being bi-polar for years. I never took “mental illnesses” very seriously, always thought with a little “self-talk,” you should be able to pull yourself out of anything. Didn’t take it very seriously that is until I lived with it up close and personal with my dad who was always solid and strong … stubborn … but solid and strong.

The most recent days weren’t his first bout with it. I remember a year and a half ago, when he was deep into a depressive swing. Often times when I’d come home late at night after work, I found myself stopping by his door…My honest goal? I stopped to make sure he was still breathing. His snoring never sounded so good. Those were tough, tough days. Recently … tough, tough days came as well. The swings from manic to depressive were becoming more frequent. Normalcy seemed illusive.

While simple, I process the whole thing this way. When someone is being tormented by another, there is usually opportunity to flee. However, when you are being tormented by your own mind, and the medicine is not working, or poorly administered, and, for some reason, answers to prayers are not coming fast enough, there is no place to flee. In the midst of his despair, he saw no way out. And, while I will never believe suicide is a solution to any situation … hear me, any situation! … I do not know what it’s like to live with a tormented mind that you can’t shut off.

Just for the record. Do I believe he’s in heaven with Jesus, yes I do. Do I think Jesus holds my father’s suicide against him, no I don’t … he was a sick man, he had cancer of the mind and it won a temporary victory.

While I expect it to unfold, I can’t see the big picture of how all of that is happening right now plays out for any good, but I do know this … I can choose to allow this situation to make me bitter and mess me up for the rest of my life… or I can choose to become better. I’ve been around the block enough to know that, figuratively, bitterness will leave me hanging on the hook right alongside my father. So today and every day, I will choose to allow difficult situations, even ones as difficult as this, to make me better. In particular, I choose to try to love better – love Jesus better and love people better - everyday. I don’t care if the people that I choose to love better the world considers the cream of the crop or the bottom of the barrel.

Every day, I want to try and love Sarah better, Josh, Dee and Ashlyn better, Sherri and Randy better, my mother better, my friends better, the rest of my family better. And now let me be very transparent: I’m up here today because I want to love you better. It would have been far easier to have asked someone else up to speak today…someone that many of you probably would not have known personally. But I thought you might be able to hear better from me … So I decided to love you better today by sharing myself. And somehow, I hope that my choice to “love you better” sends you out these doors today more determined to “love others better” in your own life.

For me, when it comes to trying to figure what it means to “love better,” I look to Jesus. Most of you don’t know this but from about 16-24, before I met Jesus, I was so angry at my dad. I hated his guts and wasn’t afraid to let him know it. I knew I was in trouble when a friend asked me right after I asked Jesus to be the leader and Lord of my life, “Judy, do you even want to see your father in heaven.” When I couldn’t answer that question with a resounding “yes,” I knew there was work to be done. And over the last 20 years, Jesus did that work and helped me to forgive and be forgiven. But I’m still a punk, less of a punk than 20 years ago, but still a punk. In my sin, I’m still a know it all … I still want to write my own story on how things should be even though sometimes I’m too stupid too know how things should be. I need help figuring out how to “love well.”

There are verses in the bible that help me. Verses I think we waste on weddings alone, but really apply to every relationship everyday. In 1 Corinthians 13 it says,

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I’ve given it to you with magnets so maybe you can put it on your fridge.

At the bottom of it, it asks two simple questions…
How did you do at loving people well today? … and …
Who do you need to call or text?

I’m going to leave you with one last true story...
When my father was in the Navy somewhere near Spain, they came across a boat that was capsized. There was a mother in the water going under quickly, desperately holding her baby in the air. My father grabbed the baby first, and in the instant that it took to get that baby in the boat it was too late for the mother. She went under.

No matter what he did, my father couldn’t save the mother. My point? We couldn’t save my father … but we CAN make a difference in our babies’ lives. Some of our babies here today are 3 and some of them are 33. Some are biological and some are simply people God put in your sphere of influence. Seriously, the only thing we can do today that really matters for all eternity is choose to love better than we did yesterday. Love Jesus better and love others better. So that someday someone can say to our loved ones “Good Mourning” and countless things about us will have been impressed upon their hearts.

Cool Videos

One of the things I miss down here in the ATL is watching Corey's videos. Some people are "talented" in this area, but he is beyond that and in the "gifted" category. Not only is he gifted, he's as fast as lightening creating them. I admit having a little "friend-vy" in this area. You can see some of his work here.

Row Host and Testimonies - More Ideas to Steal

Tonight rocked for two reasons...

1. Row Hosts. Once a month we do something called "row hosts" where a couple of assigned adult or student leaders bring treats for their students in their 02 Group (Eagle's Nest). It can be something as simple as candy canes/Nerd's Ropes/miniture candy bars or as extravagant as fried rice/hot chocolate/baked goods. It doesn't stop there. Often times, the plain old chairs are covered in cloth and Christmas lights are hung. The students love it. The only potential problem I see is if one group is more creative than another. However, the hospitality giftings seem to be pretty evenly spread, plus there is some heatlhy competition that comes with it. I discovered in Atlanta that Jeanne and the team have redefine the words "going all out."

2. Testimonies. Since the retreat was the weekend before Thanksgiving, we postponed doing the testimonies the Wednesday after retreat (i.e. the day before Thanksgiving) until this Wednesday. When it comes to who gets to speak, they don't let just anyone come up. They have leaders and students jot down at the retreat three people who seemed impacted most from their group. Then from those nominated, the staff chooses one from each of the 02 Groups (Eagle's Nest) to represent (of course, giving them a call first to make sure they are interested). 02 pride comes through when their representative gives their testimony... creating, once again, momentum. The words coming out out of these students mouths were powerful ... three for sure were preachers in the making. They closed the time by recreating the last scene of the drama.

The whole night was a beautiful thing. I loved how it was programmed. The only thing I would change are the words "row host" and "testimonies," but then again what do I know. I'd probably call the testimony time, "tell your story" or something like it. I have no idea what I'd rename "row host." Whatever their names, they both are a really, really, really good thing.

August Rush

Went with some friends last night to see August Rush. While every scene was underdeveloped and far-fetched, I loved this movie. It had some potential youth ministry clips in there as well ... every student wants to be "found" and know he/she is not a "freak or loser." Other than the fact that August was born out of wedlock (the only way you know they had sex was the fact that she got pregnant; otherwise, it just looks like they fell asleep together and both woke up fully dressed), it is 100% clean.

I Heart Atlanta - Part 2

Thanksgiving in Indiana: Mostly rainy, snowy and gloomy. Temperature: 30-40 degrees.

Post Thanksgiving in Georgia: Mostly warm and sunny. Temperature: nearly 70 degrees.

Crave 07

Crave 07 Fall Retreat was spectacular. I don't think I've ever experienced worship like I did on Saturday night. It truly marked me as I saw middle school students on their faces without prompting from the stage. Our middle school gang, over 40 strong at the retreat, is pictured above.

The drama Dave wrote was beyond excellent, hilariously funny and heart penetrating at the same time. In addition to the worship and drama, the highlight for me was the discussion groups. Jordan and Missy did an amazing job at preparing the guides. Even the most inexperienced discussion group leader couldn't help but to succeed. I'm constantly learning here and can't help but to compare how we do things in Atlanta with how we did things at Granger. I dream of what it would look like if we blended the best of both worlds together.

A couple of things off the top of my head...

1. At Granger, I liked how well we kept track of kids. Everyone had their 5 or 6 who went everywhere together. There was a system here, but not as fool proof as up north.

2. In Atlanta, the discussion guides (front cover below) were off the chart, packed with great questions and visual aids/illustrations, which enabled every break out time to be maximized to the fullest. They had in mind where they wanted the discussion groups to go and helped leaders get their students there. Like I mentioned, even the least experience leaders couldn't help but succeed. In addition, there was a rallying of each 02 Group (Eagle's Nest) at the end that was helpful, powerful and effective. I never fully helped to realize the potential for Eagle's Nest (02 Group) pride up north. Down here we've got symbols, shout outs, events, etc. It's a big, big deal and creates momentum like I've never seen.

3. At Granger, while it was camp and not a retreat, I liked the rallying of the leaders for training, encouragement and discussion the night before. It helped to ensure we were all on the same page and questions were answered. They rally the leaders here as well, but I got thrown into the mix late so I didn't get to take part. Originally, I was going to just take care of the second year Cadre who were observing the retreat, but because of the number of middle school students attending, jumped into the discussion group leadership mix.

4. In Atlanta, the display of the Arts is untouchable. It was as good, if not better, than any ATF like gathering I've ever seen. 98% of the teaching was communicated through the drama and video clips. Students were totally engaged. Seriously, very few people even left to go to the bathroom.

5. At Granger, I like the idea of having a director(s) roaming around with the sole responsibility of making sure everything and everyone's needs are being met. They have it in Atlanta as well, it's just different. All the key point people have groups as well, which has huge pros but a few cons to it as well.

6. In Atlanta, the retreat is a big deal. It's the thing "everyone" goes to and brings a friend to, which is probably why this youth ministry of 250 had over 300 at the retreat. They've discovered momentum. In addition, they did a couple of things I'd never thought of before. For instance, they had a VIP night as part of a Wednesday night before the retreat for those who had signed up and paid early. It wasn't just some soda, pizza and Oreos...they went all out with baked goods, different flavors of floats, etc. Their promotion pieces were off the chart as well.

Those were just some thoughts. Over the next few days, I'll give you a peek into some other happenings that I haven't had time to blog about. As far as Thanksgiving goes, it was all a blur. My family and friends were gracious enough to let me sleep through most of it. Exhaustion was an understatement. You know you looked bad when your sister tells you as Thanksgiving break progresses that you are looking better every day. The first full day home, I dozed off at least nine times. While the last six weeks were taxing, I can honestly say I absolutely loved every minute of it (except for the unexpected 5:30 a.m. Cadre airport run last Monday after going to bed a half hour earlier, that was a little rough). Fortunately I got a lot of rest over the break and the days ahead are much lighter for awhile. I'll be taking some time to breath deep.

Rippin' It Up Junior High Style in the ATL

Ok, I'm pretty stoked, we had 32 kids tonight in our Junior High 02 Group (42 with leaders), four times more than when we started two months ago. What is even cooler is that 29 of them are signed up to go on the retreat this weekend. I laughed to myself when I looked around the room tonight, 31 of the students were Latino or African American and one 1 was white. An exact opposite of what I had up north. I had no idea what their names were, so I took their pictures tonight. I laughed again when I tried to spell their names ... Chardonay, Nephtaly, Saba, Vonciel, Baqi, Cree, Tanisha .... I love this place!

I'm going to have "dance" this weekend. We've got another 35 youth pastors in the second year Cadre coming in to observe the retreat starting tomorrow and then debrief, among other things, on Monday at Jeanne's house, and I just got word that they need me to run a rap (discussion) group. I'm cannot tell you how excited I am to actually spend some significant amount of time with some of our students this weekend, but wonder how well I'll do at the balancing act. Save the turkey, I think I'll be sleeping through Thanksgiving.

I Heart Atlanta

Just looked at weather.com for our retreat this weekend. Right now there is a 20 degree difference in temperature between Georgia and Indiana. I think I'm going to like winter weather this year!

Four Things I Know

Wednesday night a Cadre member and I went out to breakfast at midnight and she asked me to share what I believe are the secrets to success. I wasn't feeling profound, so here are my four simple ones.

1. Take care of your leaders and your leaders' kids. The second half of that statement is a big deal that few realize!
2. Do breakout groups every week in your ministry, but only if you are going to work hard to put the right leaders with the right kids.
3. Get kids serving in areas close to their SHAPE! People just about drop their jaw when I tell them we had 50 kids we rotated through on the lighting team.
4. Fight for unity and fight hard.

Another Cadre member asked me about teaching middle school students. I told him I started preaching a five point message, then went to three points, then one ... and finally landed with the best sermon is one that can be summarized in 3 or 4 words that have the power to evoke an unforgetable message/picture in your head.

Put the Paint Brush Down!

I think I finally got it ... like fully got it, got it. I have this quick leadership lesson called "Put the Paint Brush Down!" where I talk about me on missions trips always wanting to be the "do-er." It took me forever to learn to put the paint brush down to make way for someone else to serve ... to instead choose to be the eyes and ears of the team in order to meet their needs, to make sure they feel like they are playing a significant role and, perhaps more importantly, to make sure they are replicating themselves.

So, today I met with all the Cadre Executive Team leads to talk...
1. About the people we've met and the lives that have been impacted.
2. About what we did right at the last two Cadres.
3. What we can improve upon.

I shared briefly what I saw and heard, and wanted to continue to see and hear, from them...
1. Continued practice in putting the paint brush down to train up first years students who need a helping hand in the back because they are new and young.
2. Being a true team where they jump in even if "it's not in their job description." No silo ministry here. They are already AMAZING at this one.
3. Them to schedule their own team meetings to vison cast the "why" behind the "what", ensure their people know the details on "where" they are supposed to be "when", etc. I asked that the "staff direct report" (Laurie or I) be at five out of a dozen of those team meetings. Everything rises and falls on those five key teams, so any support we can lend I think will be helpful.

All and all, we had a great and productive two hours together. They truly are amazing leaders. And, it was fun for me to just to be the vision caster and eyes and ears for the team. I think I am finally "getting" my own leadership lesson.

Cadre 2 of 9 Done!

I'm convinced the Cadres are pretty much one of the best things this side of heaven. We finished the second one of nine (I thought it was eight, but it's nine) at 3:30 a.m. Wednesday morning (right before the airport runs began).

The dyamics of each one are different, all great, but different. My friend, Rachel, from Arizona was part of this one so I especially enjoyed it. My favorite conversation was with Joe Lee (seen below with Jeanne). We talked all the way back from the field trip about minsitering to African American youth. He works for a Granger/Willow/Saddleback style church in Maryland that has a large percentage of African Americans. I laughed when he called them Saddleblack. He's brilliant in so many ways. Our conversation was so incredibly helpful in regard to the culture I am ministering in now. I'm grateful for the open and honest questions he allowed me to ask.

I've been working for Jeanne over four months now. Her brilliance continues to "wow" me. Even when she fielded the last question at 3:30 a.m., the wisdom that flowed out of her was incredible. Words cannot express how fortunate I am to rub shoulders with someone of her caliber on a daily basis. By the way, my red face in my picture below is not an indication of high blood pressure, but is a true sun burn. We had the "Pumpkin Bowl" on Saturday and I fried my face. Getting a sunburn in November, without going on vacation, was weird. However, it then turned friged last night and felt more like Indiana.

This is an interesting stat, it took 87 people to spoil 40 youth pastors for two ridiculously full days. I love it! The Cadre for second year members is in seven days, better get back to work :)

Wrecked

For Oxygen tonight, we did about an hour drama tonight entitled "wrecked." It was well done and perfect for Halloween night. Privately I prayed for record attendance, but realistically wondered if we'd hit our norm. I was pleasantly surprised and grateful for the record attendance. Even better, we had scores of students make a decision for Christ.
Flat out wonderful!

So on a side note, I got one ticket in 27 years and then got two in one week. I'm trying to decide if I fight, plead, beg my way out of any in court. Did you know that making a left hand turn when the sign says you can't (even if there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to) gets you 3 points on your license in Georgia. They are very serious about their "No left turns". The latest one will get me another 2 points. I missed the sign on the toll road when it goes from 70 to 55 mph by Valpo. Needless to say, got busted doing 70 in a 55. Having travelled that road a gazillion times, for the life of me I don't remember seeing the 55 sign this time around. But, I was late for the airport and talking with my mom while I drove so I guess I just missed it.
Big miss!

Update on my dad. He is doing MUCH better! No diagnosis, so I guess we'lll chalk it up to a bad mix in medicine. The day I left he was moved from ICU to a regular room. The bonus was that he got his "words" back. Three of the four days I was there he could totally understood what I was saying, knew what he wanted to say, but couldn't get more than a word of it out.
Freaky!

Junior Doctor

So, I'm leaving for home tomorrow and the doctors are still clueless on what's wrong with my dad. After an EEG, EKG, full MRI and Spinal Tap they still have nothing. The latest thing they checked for is the West Nile Virus (told you they were clueless)

Anyway, so I got on the internet tonight and searched for five minutes. I've got a diagnosis and, while still painful, would be funny if I were right. My prediction is Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome as a result of the Seroquel that he takes. Do you think if I'm right the doctors will give me part of their cut? I didn't think so either.

Honestly, I just want him better. Having your dad calling out random numbers and other things mid sentence is pretty weird. In his delirium, he's either at bingo, the boat or playing pool. All I know is he's got "eight and nine," the "stick is broke," and the "the ball is red or blue."

In the meantime, I'm working like crazy trying to get all the "big chunks" I need done by Sunday, done by Saturday noon. For my reward, I got a "illegal turn" ticket on my way home from work this morning while trying to avoid the 285 traffic. I was guilty so I didn't even try to fight it. It's the end of the month and I think the Dekalb police department failed to meet their quota. While I was waiting for my ticket, I saw three other cars get pulled over.

Don't forget to say "I love you"

Perspective is the most beautiful thing.

Tuesday night during the last night of the Cadre my sister called to tell me that my dad was in the hospital. Earlier that day, I was told he was found outside trying to open the front door with his car keys, then starring into the microwave and talking to it (don't worry you can laugh a little at that one, it's much more fun than crying). Anyway, in a matter of hours he was in a catatonic non-responsive state. He's been that way for the last 36 hours. They've run all sorts of test (EEG, EKG, spinal tap and now a full MRI) and have ruled out a lot of stuff, but haven't figured out the cause.

When the Cadre was going on my head was spinning so fast with it, that his hospitalization really didn't fully hit me. Today, it did. The thoughts that race through your head, the tears that randomly well up in your eyes, the contemplation of the future makes your heart heavy and your stomach sick... it's almost overwhelming. I can't even begin to tell you how grateful that my last words to him were "I love you dad."

Then about a half hour ago, my friend put the phone up to his ear and, while he couldn't open his eyes and is randomly yelling out numbers, we had a conversation. It was brief, but I got the opportunity to say "I love you dad" a few more time and he said it back. I am grateful.

Today when the MC kids told me of a few mishaps during the clean up of the Cadre, like the van got stuck in the grass and tore up some sod, we blew two tires, and there is a bag of candy missing for the next Cadre welcome bags, etc ... my response was buy some sod and don't back the trailer into the driveway anymore, buy a couple of tires and get the breaks checked, buy some more candy and we'll lock it up next time ... in light of eternity, it's really not a big deal. Perspective is a beautiful thing.

So, I'm on a plane home this weekend. In the meantime, my sister and brother are taking turns at the hospital. In addition, I have the MOST AMAZING friends in the universe who are taking turns up at hospital as well. I am so thankful. Very few people on the planet are as fortunate as I am to have one friend like this ... let alone a bunch of them.

The Cadre and Mach 5

Mach 5 feels like the speed I am running right now. I just got finished with a "big chunk" and have four more "big chunks" on my plate to finish by Sunday.

We just rapped up our first Cadre Advance of the 2007-2008 (seven more to go). It was ridiculously amazing. We hosted 35 youth pastors for two days (three days including travel). Our goal was to spoil them like crazy, yet at the same time equip them to do ministry at a new level. From their comments, we succeeded. It took pretty much all of us on campus to do that ... all 97 of us.

Words cannot express (actually, they probably could, I'm just too tired) what it was like to have the opportunity to breathe life into them ... for some came in wounded, tired and discouraged, while others were great and just simply want to become the best they can be in order to serve the kids they so dearly love.

This was my first one to be one the primary leads. I was encouraged by the comments received on how I helped to make it better than ever. I guess ten years of orchestrating a week of camp each year paid off. Simply put, I totally love this place!

A Kiss From Heaven

Have you ever had those times where it feels like a kiss from heaven. I've had many, but two stand out in the last few months. Here they are...

1. My last day at Oasis when attendance hit 1,066. Not that numbers matter, but we all know they do. I remember someone asking, "did you ever think you'd hit a thousand?" Can't say that I had. It was a great night and the kids were so in tuned. That was pretty amazing in itself.

2. Last night Jeanne gave me a pass on coming to Oxygen, which I so appreciated the offer. However, I haven't missed a Wednesday night in over a dozen years if it was even remotely possible for me to get there (in fact, I remember driving like a mad women from Georgia, just to try and get there for the last fifteen minutes). I couldn't and wouldn't even think of missing it last night. Plus, it was 02 night, which means we would be in our small groups for the majority of the night. So, last month during our 02 group we had 8 students, and this month we were up to 26 kids. I'm not sure how you can get just excited over 26 as you do 1,066, but I was. Both nights felt like a kiss.

One thing I'm sure of

Ughhhhhh...did you ever have one of those days that makes you want to puke ... literally. One of my dearest friend's nephew committed suicide this morning, my dad's depressive side of his bi-polar has flared up again leaving him weak and reclusive and a handful of my friends have decided it's time to pull the rip cord before the landing leaves them with scars (long story you don't need to know about). It leaves you thinking what could I/we have done differently? My friends are hurting, I can't do anything. My dad is hurting, I can't do anything. My family is hurting, I can't do anything. I'm at a loss. The only thing I'm sure of right now is that God is still on the throne.

Sorry, no perky post today.

Anon's Story

You have a story ... I have a story ... we all have a story. If you let God hold the pen and write the story, it's much more creative, adventurous, fun, edgy and, yes, even scary than if you try and write your own. I remember when Rob first told Anon's story. I got goose bumps then, and just now when I read it again on Rob's blog.

Be There When It Matters Most - Simple, Yet Profound Lesson on Life

Even though I so want to, I can't maintain all the relationships I've developed throughout my life. I can't be there for a Friday night movie, all the birthday parties, the occasion dinner or hangout at Starbucks. I gave up a long time ago and made the decision not to feel "guilty" about it. However, there are key moments in my friends' lives where I will do whatever it takes to be there for them. This weekend is one of those moments. My friends T and Amealia are getting married in, of all places, Canada.

T and I go way back. He was my very first band director. After practice, he and I would talk late, sometimes until 2 a.m., about life and ministry. He went on to join Ron Luce with Teen Mania for two years. He is an amazing solid man of God. Amealia is amazing as well.

T was the big brother of Karissa. She would hang out until 2 a.m. as well. I'm not sure it was by choice, as much as T was her ride. She was quiet then and would, for the most part, just listen in on our conversations. Karissa is now a missionary in Malawi, Africa.

I love them and their family. So this weekend, I'm jumping on a plane and flying into Detroit, then driving 2 1/2 hours into Canada. Why? Because this is one of those important events in their life I want to be apart of.

I learned the "be there when it matters most" lesson right after my sister had shoulder surgery. At around 3 a.m. she made a 911 call to me because "she knew I'd be awake." She was in severe pain but the pain medicine was making her sick to her stomach. She had a perscription to get rid of the naseau but it needed filled. So, CVS and I befriended each other around 3:30 a.m. That was a marking moment for her. Lil' sis did good that day!

Dawsonville Georgia

Got back this morning from a conference Jeanne was the General Session Speaker at in Dawnsonville Georgia. Dawsonville is about an hour north of Atlanta on the infamous Gerogia 400. A couple of take aways...

1. Including me, there were six Cadre members there. Marty and I are alumni, Rolando is in his second year, and Julie, Joe and Christy are in the first year class. Julie, Joe and Christy are excited about the coming days in the Cadre. They will all be here October 22-23 for our first Advance. I'm not sure what you call it, but there is this amazing relational connection happening within the Cadre in a very short time and the momentum is only growing. I can't really explain it, just know I love it.

2. I had some amazing people working the product booth for Jeanne. One of the ladies was an aunt who was doing her very best to have an impact on her nephew and niece. She reminded me of my early days with Josh and Ashlyn. Another one was a mom and foster mom to six. One of the kids was there and his name was Taylor. Great kid, but I knew he really didn't feel like he fit in anywhere. When we were having coffee after the conference, Christy and I were chatting about "Taylor." She talked about how he comes here and there but isn't consistent. I encouraged her to give him a job to do and I think he'd show up every week. I don't know if that was experience talking or a Holy Spirit nudge but I hope she takes me up on it.

3. This is the theme of my life right now. But Jeanne said something in the car, unrelated to the conference, that stuck. Very simple, yet profound. "Judy, people really are hungry for even the smallest amount of authentic encourgement."

Empower or Perish

I'm in a real intereting new place, one I've never fully been in before. I've empowered teams who have proven themselves trustworthy, I've delegated to individuals who I've had to depend on but weren't trustworthy and I've done a whole lot of stuff myself. However, in this new position, the empowering has went up to the nth degree. There is an immediate urgency to master. I'm learning quick. Today was interesting, here were the meetings...

Met with Jon and asked him to champion the team who will be working on the video project I've kind of created and the board approved. He's creative as all get out and can take my ideas to the next level...big time, but only if he has "buy in." After vision casting, he's "all in." I've given him the starting point with the hopes he will soar with his creatively wired mind.

Met with Jay and asked him to champion getting the 200+ resources we have on DVD into a downloadable format so when the new storefront goes up they will be ready. He can talk lingo I've never heard of to get what needs to be done...well... done. He's pretty stoked about the project and already has the team in mind to help him.

Met with the Cadre MC Executive Team (13 in all). Those who will head up tokens, transportation, apartment, cleaning, decor, communications, shopping, food, moving, valet and media teams to cast vision and talk about responsibilities. I talked about the importance of taking care of people and how it is transferrable to every area of minstry, as well as the corporate world. A pay check will only take you so far when it comes to motivation. Whoever sits under their leadership will work harder, longer and faster, as well as be happier, if they feel authentically loved, cared for and like they matter. The key is to continually work on being intentional. In order to accomplish what they are going to have to get done, they will have to empower their own teams. I think they will do great. They all have worked with and love the Cadre.

Met with Andrew, my junior high guy and checked in on our postcard launching the first promoted series ever in Sunday school and our 02 group. His work was awesome. Cheryl is working on our database which is lacking at the moment. It's weird to work junior high from the backseat. However, I'm up to bat teaching the students this weekend, so it should be fun.

My Administrative Assistant, Cherry, is doing a great job at helping me keep all the balls in the air.

100 Largest US Churches and the Cadre

Just got a list from Outreach Magazine of the 100 Largest U.S. Churches. I thought it was awesome that three of the youth pastor's on the largest churches list are being mentored by Jeanne in the Cadre. Very cool!

Here's the top 10 out of 100...
1. Lakewood Church, Houston, TX – Joel Osteen (47,000)
2. Willow Creek Com. Church, South Barrington, IL – Bill Hybels (23,500)
3. Second Baptist Church, Houston, TX – Ed Young Sr. (23,198)
4. Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, CA – Rick Warren (22,000)
5. LifeChurch.tv, Edmond, OK – Craig Groeschel (19,907)
6. Southeast Christian Church, Louisville, KY – Dave Stone (18,013)
7. North Point Church, Alpharetta, GA – Andy Stanley (17,700)
8. Thomas Road Baptist Church, Lynchburg, VA – Jonathan Falwell (17.445)
9. Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale, Fort Lauderdale, FL – Bob Coy (17,000)
10. The Potter's House, Dallas, TX – T.D. Jakes (17,000)

Email

Did you ever get a cool email and was such a ego stroke or self-esteem booster that you wanted to post it for the world to read? What is that inside of you that wants to let the world know? I got one of those a couple of days ago from my boss/friend, but I'll soemhow refrain from posting.

Wasn't Board at the Board Meeting

Just came off two days with the Board of Directors at Youth Leader's Coach...

1. I think we scored a win with the board notebook. After nearly killing ourselves and having to come up with a few creative solutions, Missy and I knocked out the 178 page full color notebook. I know know Adobe Indesign far more than I want to. I also don't want to proofread anything for a realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly long time. I have one question though, why is it anytime you have a big project with a deadline the copier decides to die? Are there copier demons? If there are, why are they following me ... do I have some unrepented sin (j/k)?

2. When I hear board meeting I usually think "boring," but not Jeanne's. Her's include videos, field trips, a casket (yep), firemen helmets, people telling their stories and a whole lot more.

3. She's got some heavy heavy hitters who also work with the Dream Center in LA. They took Jordan, Laurie and I out to dinner last night. I loved hearing their stories where they've seen God show up in some pretty big ways. I also love the fact that they are big time into investments. People like me, with accounting backgrounds, dig those stories too.

4. My boss is insane. She went from the two day board meeting, to marathon building and insurance meetings today, to writing an article, to back to back speaking engagements in Texas and Georgia this weekend. I'm pretty excited about hitting the second half of the weekend with her in Georgia. I'll be hanging out with some of my favorite Cadre peeps.

The Cadre

The Cadre is a personal mentoring program that reached down and jump started my heart two years ago. It was my next step in defining who I wanted to be personally, then ultimately where I wanted to invest my life professionally. So far 205 youth pastors have gone through the program and the next 75 are up to bat. We had to turn people away this year, that was pretty tough. However, in order to keep the intimate nature of the Cadre Advances (retreats) at Jeanne's house it was necessary. Here's the break down of the two classes.

New Second Year Class - Epic
New First Year Classes - Litmus and Prestige

The starting gun sounded Thursday with their first conference call. Our next one is October with Tim Elmore, should be great stuff.

We are running hard and fast into the three Advances - October 22-23, November 5-6 and November 16-19. We're going to be rockin' and runnin' hard.

I set up their email accounts and the emails are already flyin' her way. I love it! Jeanne is still bent on answering everyone herself. I don't think that will ever change. Which is good, cause I'm still running 50 a day and it's about to bury me.

Here's the data on the two first year classes...
They are from 25 different states, 11 different denominations, collectively lead over 8,000 students, range in age 22 to 37 and are 80% men and 20% women.

I just watched the video for the board of Cadre stories ... three words ,,, oh my goodness.

I think I just heard heaven come down

I just came off our Friday chapel with the MC students. Worship was off-the-chart. My prayer is that when I get to heaven, and we are singing around the throne, that Alex Brown is somewhere near me. His voice is SWEET and his character even sweeter. I love when he leads!

Alex played a song called Restoration and outperformed the artist, but if you want to get a taste of it, go here. It rocked my soul.

Random Things Today

Oxygen: Just came off Oxygen tonight where Jordan taught. Not only does his integrity and passion for ministry run deep, but I think he's the most creative guy I've ever met when it comes to sermon illustrations. Tonight he delivered yet again. He's given two messages in the last four days, all while making Master's Commission go round for 85+ students. I still can't believe the team I get to work alongside. Jeanne and I keep having "I'm so grateful moments for you" moments. She plain and simple just makes me better and has mastered the art of making me feel crazy appreciated. I'm trying to do that for my team in my own "Judy" sort of way. So far, it's worked really well.

Junior High Parents: My first meeting with a parent of two junior high students was today at lunch. It rocked! I dreamed the dream and cast vision for where I saw the junior high ministry going. The words I heard that rang loud in my ears were "I love it. Judy, I can tell you've been emersed in this awhile. How long did it take you to think of all of this?" and "Seriously, Judy, anything I can do to help make it happen let me know."

02 Groups: I'm watching the leaders of leaders get ready for the launch of 02 groups. Wow, they are passionate about it! They took it to a whole new level than I did with Eagle's Nest. There are full color binders with cool graphics and tokens everywhere! The momentum they're creating with this thing is very cool. I'm am sooo watching and learning.

Opportunities: My pal Sean over at Stuck in the Middle asked me to check out his next big event in Kansas City in March 08 to give him some feedback and lead a breakout session. The conference he does with middle school students rocks. I'm pretty stoked about the opportunity to hang out with some of my Summit friends. It's back to back with a mission trip I'm leading in Mexico, but I think I can work it out. Should know in a couple of weeks.

Youth Leaders Coach Board: We're on a mad dash to get ready for the board meeting on Monday and Tuesday. It's going to be incredible, but until then a whole lot of work.

On the Road: After that I'm on the road again with Jeanne, next weekend we're heading to the Unite Conference and then early next month to a conference in Battle Creek Michigan. I think that's where they make one of my favorite cereals ... Frosted Flakes. They're grrrrrrrrrrreat! I wrestled with going to Arkansas with her right after Thanksgiving. Her son, Josh, is hosting his first youth conference. Our brains run on the same channel and at the same speed, so I'd totally love to be there, but I want to be with my family more.

Podcast: youthleaderscoach.com Podcast is up and running on itunes. We've still got a few tweaks to work out with the name and search. I'm on the first and third episodes. I think I'm just now getting comfortable with it.

My Side Job: I lend a consulting hand in the Accounting department. I jumped back six years when I learned they run on Shelby. I could go on and on about databases. Every system I've ever worked with seriously lacked one thing ... a strong connecting of the designers with the daily users. Six years later it's like a flash back from Hades, I can't get the report that works in the format I need. I can get a report with the wrong numbers in the right format ... or I can get a report with the right numbers in the wrong format ... ugh! Fortunately, I don't have to resolve the problem but can tell them to get on the phone with Shelby and have them help figure it out. I love dabbling in accounting stuff, actually more the internal control and systems side, but I wouldn't want to live there.

Article - Mr. Clinehands Theology

I was asked to write another article for simply youth ministry or youthministry.com (they've kinda blended now, so don't know where it will appear). Here was my attempt...

Mr. Clinehands Theology

To this day I remember the water rocket contest my Sunday school teacher, Mr. Clinehands, held when I was in 6th grade. Whoever could launch the water rocket the furthest won a pair of skates. And, back in the day, that was a pretty big deal. Mr. Clinehinds didn’t choose to hold the competition at the church, but instead he'd set up a time to stop by our house so we could launch it in our own yard. He'd only stay about 15 minutes under the premise that he was there to simply watch and measure the launch.

A decade after entering youth ministry, I had an ah ha moment about Mr. Clinehands one day. I never thought of him as a youth ministry strategist, but I think that’s exactly what he was. I think Mr. Clinehands held the whole contest so that he could get a feel for what kind of home and parents his Sunday school kids had. It was the perfect "door opener" - parents didn't feel pressure, the kid didn't feel pressure and he didn't feel pressure.

Here are a couple principles in youth ministry that I think Mr. Clinehands figured out...

1. The potential for long-term impact skyrockets when you reach parents. We are better at impacting kids than parents because we're just naturally more comfortable with kids. However, if we can reach the parents too, our long-term impact on a kid dramatically increases.

2. Impacting the parents begins with meeting them. And, chances are you have to go to them, they're not going to come to you. The problem is that most of our leaders are scared to death of parents. The unspoken question is, "What do I say?" The water rocket serves like a Coke can when you're uncomfortable at a gathering. In some weird unexplainable way, we feel more comfortable hiding behind a little Coke can. In this situation, if the conversation doesn’t naturally jump start, you can just stare at the water rocket flying through the air.

3. Parents need you on their team. Parents need another voice telling their kids the exact same things they are telling them. Even if they aren't Christians and concerned with spiritual things, they know other people teaching their kids etiquette and morals is necessary. In an unconscious way, they can observe it when they hear you say things to their kid things like, "Let's pick up the pieces and put the hose back" after the launch. Hopefully, after you leave they have a private ah ha "I like this guy/girl. I think they can help me with my kid" moment.

4. Whether you impact the parents or not, you need them on your side. Typically, they won't be a champion of someone they don’t know. So, if you do it right, the more they know you, the more they'll trust you. As trust grows, their willingness to get their kid to where you are, like a small group or youth ministry, suddenly becomes more of a priority.

5. Finally, open lines of communication are essential in deepening relationships and, ultimately, affecting life change. Through it, you might actually get a glimpse of what's going on inside a parent’s and/or kid’s head and heart.

Shhh, can you keep a secret?

I had one of my first junior high meeting this morning at the southern delicacy known as Waffle House (seriously, they are on every corner in Atlanta ... at least at every exit). I think it's going to become our Saturday morning meeting place. Four people ate for $20, I can do that.

Anyway, I am so stoked at the leadership that was at the table. Diverse as night and day, but powerful. This will be my first attempt at leading from behind the scenes. I have my hand in too many other things to do the work of the front person, but I'm pretty confident in my ability to direct and empower those I oversee. The only up front area I'm going to own in this thing is with parents.

Today, we planned all the events for 2007-2008 to give to parents when we hold our first parent meeting in October. Between now and then we'll brainstorm the topics we'll be discussing in Sunday school (yes, that beast exists down here at 9:30 a.m. every Sunday morning) to give to them as well. One thing I always wanted to do well at Granger was connect with parents. However, other things kept pressing in that I LET prevent me from doing it. This time around I've decided it is NON-NEGOTIABLE. In fact, my first lunch with a parent is this Wednesday (before I'd be having lunch with kids, not this time around, it's the parents I'm pursuing ... I'll let my leaders do the lunches with the students). Bottomline, the three things I'm committed to doing well are leadership training/mentoring, small groups and parents. Youth ministry-wise, I've decided there are things I'm willing to give up in order to relentlessly lead these three areas well. One huge thing I'm giving up is being the weekly up front leader, in particular teaching leader - that's a pretty big deal for me. I'm in the process of finding those killer teachers who can step into that role even now.

Don't tell anyone, but I'm setting a growth rate of 300% as my goal for junior high this year (don't be too impressed because the junior high numbers are low). My goal is to break off junior high from senior high by Fall 2008. I think we've got the plan and staff to do it ... easily. I'll be fine if we don't hit the numbers, but my heart is feeling it's a good target.

I'm loving the job, but please pray for wisdom as I navigate the many waters. Right now, I'm the direct report for six full-time people in three totally different departments, as well as for a number of MC students. Jeanne is having me serve as a middle layer of management so to speak on the Youth Leader's Coach side. While there are some issues that we need to work through, the beauty is that all the people are amazing. What they are doing drives them to get up in the morning, not to mention that they are just plain fun and funny, so that is making my life easier. I'm excited at the opportunity to speak into their lives and they are pretty excited to have someone to champion them. I plan on "championing" well.

The Adventure Begins

What a great week and it's only Wednesday!

My sis is in town and we've had fun doing the IKEA, Gerogia Mall, Habachi and cruise through the city kind of stuff. We ate at Jason's after church on Sunday. It's a deli that is AMAZING! Then I recruited her to help the paid staff with some tokens for the opening night. Our woodburning extravaganza is a moment in time that I think I might be permently scared from. No, I didn't burn myself, but I did walk into the corner of a piece of sheet rock sitting on a cabinet about eye level. Needless to say, I have a nice gash on my nose between my eyes. Yes, it was pretty funny.

Saturday Morning
A big day! The first year MC students showed up. Looking over the crowd, I loved the fact that they have students here from every walk of life - rich, poor, athletes, beauty queens, thin, thick, tatooed and pierced. Jordan did an amazing job of making registration look easy. He pretty much is oozing with giftedness from administration to teaching.

Let the adventure begin...

Monday Night
95 Master's Commission students and staff loaded into vehicles for that "special" place Monday night. I'd describe more, but it's a secret. While there, Jeanne spoke for part of the time. Words can't express what she breathed into their hearts as she cast vision for the 07-08 year. She ended with four questions.

1. Are you more into SELF IMPROVEMENT or TRANSFORMATION? There's a big difference you know.

2. Most true inner-transformation begins with a call to LEAVE SOMETHING. What is Christ calling you to walk away from this year?

3. Transformation often happens more through our mistakes and failures than through our successess. How determined are you to "fail successfully" this year?

4. The inner journey of transformation will be a lifetime of one repeating question from Christ. DO YOU LOVE ME MORE? What will the honest answer of your heart be?

It was a night like no other, best experience with your sister sitting next to you.

The repeating thought that went through my mind was "what if?" What if every teenager across the nation had someone who spoke so boldly, in love, into their hearts as Jeanne did for the 85 students present. And, had someone to love and walk them through the messiness of their life. I think the world would be a different place.

Tuesday Night
We all took the train downtown and went to see STOMP at the Fox Theatre. No word was uttered from the stage for almost 2 hours, just sounds from the banging of brooms, trash cans, sticks, lighters and a few other miscellaneous things. It was incredible.

Wednesday Night
Dave taught tonight and hit a home run. Mike, Scott and Nick put my IKEA furniture together afterwords ... I'm grateful.

Here are some important people for me...

Pic 1 - Scotty and Mike, two of my favorite guys.

Pic 2 - Nick is against the door. He's my audio engineer for Youth Leader's Coach

Pic 3 - Cherry (in peach) is my Administrative Assistant. She's amazing. Not as amazing as Chris, but Chris would really like her ... and so would Mike (that is, if he were allowed). My junior high guy, Andrew, is also in the pic (guy way in the back on the left). He, Cheryl, Desiree and I are going to rip it up this year ... junior high style!

Pic 4 and 5 have Amy (blue shirt) and Hoi (stripped shirt) in them - They'll always hold a special place in my heart.