Not Bad Dr. Phil

I've read on the stages of grief before, but never really experienced them. I think I've been camping in the ANGER stage, yet still feeling like the whole thing is surreal. While I would never do it, I frequently have the urge to chuck something at the wall. Last night on the ride back to Atlanta, I had the overwhelming urge to top out the speedometer at 140. Of course, I'm much too practical for either. I know whatever I break I have to clean up and that's a whole lot of points on your license for going 70 mph over the speed limit.

The other thing I've learned is when there is a suicide there is enough guilt to go around and it's far to easy to camp there as well. I've got my share that Jesus and I are wrestling with.

This is what Dr. Phil had to say on grief.

According to Dr. Phil, the biggest challenge people who have experienced loss will deal with is getting their minds around what they are facing. If you are in the grieving process, you can expect to go through these four stages:

1. Shock: Feeling numb. You may wake up wondering, "Is this real?"
2. Denial: Being unable to accept the situation. You may find yourself thinking, "This can't be happening. It's not real."
3. Anger: Wanting to lash out at everyone. You may continually ask, "How can this happen?"
4. Resolution: Feeling like there is a way past the grief, an end to the sadness. You may say to yourself, "I will get through this."

During the grieving process, you may feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster ride, but things will get better if you allow yourself to heal. Dr. Phil suggests that you keep the following in mind:

Accept the things that you can't control. "There's something that's happened in the evolution of life in our current society that leads us to arrogantly believe that we run this world — and we don't," says Dr. Phil. "We've got to be accepting of those things we don't control."

Find meaning to your suffering. Don't allow yourself to be devastated for no reason, no meaning and no purpose. "You've got to create some value to the pain that you experience in your life," advises Dr. Phil. "It may be nothing more than helping those who are further back down the trail than you are. It is a process. It is an evolution. If you use your pain and what you've been through in your life, it won't seem to [be] such nonsense."