Orange - Part 2 - Partnering with Parents

This session was INCREDIBLE...

PARTNERING WITH PARENTS
Parents want someone to come alongside them and help equip them. They have this overwhelming responsibility to raise their kids morally and spiritually, but they don’t know how to do it.

I. Problem:
1. We have come to believe that faith and character can be outsourced. It’s not serving us well. Average church has 40 hours with a kid each year, an average working parent has 3,000 hours.

2. In the past 50 years, even churched families have come to believe that dropping off kids is enough to guarantee the spiritual and character formation of their children.

3. As a result, we have raised several underequipped generations of Christian parents and grandparents who do not know how to equip their children in faith and character. They can’t teach them what they do not know (ex. A father with math)

II. The Growing Gap Between Church Leaders and Parents:
1. 85% of parents with children under age 13 believe they have the primary responsibility for teaching their children about religious beliefs and spiritual matters while 11% said their church is primarily responsible.

2. 96% of parents with children under the age of 13 say they have the primary responsibility for teaching their children values.

3. Only 19% of parents with children under 13 have ever been personally contacted or spoken to by a church leader to discuss the parents’ involvement in the spiritual life and development of their children.

III. The Opportunity:
The church may be sitting on the greatest evangelism opportunity in decades. Every parent has at least given thought to, if not spent time lying awake at night, is my child going to be alright.

IV. The Temptation
1. The number one temptation among church leaders is to view family ministry as simply another program that the church runs or a staff member the church needs to deploy

2. Family ministry synchronizes church leaders and parents around a master plan to build faith and character into their sons and daughters.

The master plan is focused on the five principles of Orange.
Integrate strategy – Is what we are doing transferable, easily accessible and irresistible?
Refine message – Teach less for more
Elevate community
Reactive the family
Leverage influence

3. We want to help you think through one aspect of that master plan that will help you move from information based ministry to influence based ministry as church leaders and parents partner together.

V. Moving from Information to Influence
1. Approximately 80% of children walk away from the church/faith when they walk away from their parents.

a. Our assumption: If children have the right information, their faith and character will be appropriately shaped before they leave home. Information alone is not enough (ex. Coke vs. water - go for Coke even though you know water is better, cigarette package warnings don't keep people from smoking, etc.)
b. Reality: Our attempts at information may not be addressing the life issues of children or their parents.
c. Reality: Information alone does not lead to transformation.
What happen to cast in Eight is Enough? How many elephants are in a heard? Who cares
Teaching the whole Bible to children may not be the best approach.
Moral failure prevention may not be our first and best strategy.

2. If an approach focused on information would give way to a strategy that engages the critical influences that shapes every child’s future, we believe our success will increase significantly.

3. (THIS IS REALLY GOOD) The six influences answer, or better yet, resolve six life six life questions that every child asks at some page of his or her development. By focusing on these six influences, six life changes, and developing a matter plan to deal with them, church leaders and parents are better positioned to shape and influence, the heart, mind, soul and future of a child.

Six influences that shape every child’s future, six life questions every child asks, default influences, Orange principles(s) and strategy.

1. Six Influences That Shape Every Child’s Future: A really big God I can trust no matter what.
Six Life Questions Every Child Asks: Who am I?
Default Influences: It must be about me. It must be about me.
Orange Principle(s) and Strategy: Refine Your Message. Elevate Community. First Look.
1. God made me. 2. God loves me. 3. Jesus wants to be my friend.

2. Six Influences That Shape Every Child’s Future: A burning light that leads to truth.
Six Life Questions Every Child Asks: What’s true?
Default Influences: Whatever
Orange Principle(s) and Strategy: Refine Your Message. Elevate Community. 252 Basics.
1. I can trust God (a really big God). 2. I need to make the wise choices (a burning light). 3. I should treat others the way I want to be treated (a compelling mission).

3. Six Influences That Shape Every Child’s Future: Nosey parents who make it their job to know where their kids are.
Six Life Questions Every Child Asks: Who really cares?
Default Influences: Nobody, really, nobody
Orange Principle(s) and Strategy: Reactive the Family

4. Six Influences That Shape Every Child’s Future: Another voice that sayds the same thing my parents say.
Six Life Questions Every Child Asks: Who else believe in me?
Default Influences: Whoever can use me.
Orange Principle(s) and Strategy: Elevate Community

5. Six Influences That Shape Every Child’s Future: Someone else who is going in the right direction.
Six Life Questions Every Child Asks: Where do I fit in?
Default Influences: With the people I get to like me.
Orange Principle(s) and Strategy: Elevate Community

6. Six Influences That Shape Every Child’s Future: A compelling mission that lasts a lifetime
Six Life Questions Every Child Asks: Why am I here?
Default Influences: To get what I want? (Reality, when I get it I don’t want it anymore)
Orange Principle(s) and Strategy: Refine Your Message. Leverage influence. XP3.
1. Inviting wonder (a really big God) 2. Provoking discovery (burning light) 3. Fueling passion (a compelling mission)

VI. Maximizing Influence
1. At every level of your family ministry, think about how you can leverage all six influence that shape the life of every child for maximum impact at church and at home.

2. One example would be to rethink our Family Experience at a new level. Our strategy is:
a) Once a month
b) Off Sunday
c) Separate the parents and the kids (for a few minutes)
d) Talk directly with the parents (parents lounge)
e) Focus on one of the six influences

3. Parent lounge sample discussion. Ex. Favorite Five on cell phone. Who does your child have on their Favorite Five that would say the same thing you do? Rite of Passage. Spend one day with each mentor. At then end of the time, gathered together for a feast, kid wrote a card telling each one what they meant, prayed for son, gave each mentor a Bible.

VII. Your Challenge
1. Rethink family ministry strategy at a master level to move church leaders and parents onto the same page.
2. Rethink how the six life influences can be leveraged at every level both in content and strategy to prepare children for the life God has called them to.

Orange Conference - Part 1 - Unlocking the XP3 Strategy

Began the Orange Conference by learning how not to do registration. I truly felt for them. I would not have wanted to start a first time conference off this way. However things kept getting better as the day went on. This conference has already challenged me on a few things.

The first workshop was unlocking the XP3 Strategy. In my opinion, they should of kepted it locked until next year. According to the amazing Mark Waltz, you can't get a First Impression back. My guess is that this is GOING to be GREAT, GREAT stuff. However, I think they jumped the gun on the release. They had great presenters, but the material is just not complete or tested enough yet.

Here are my unedited notes...
Unpacking XP3 Strategy
XP3 - The Big Three
Incite Wonder
Provoke Discovery
Fuel Passion

The Heart Behind XP3
Move from information to experience. We need to move past the spectator sport mentality and approach, and let students feel like they have a chance to get the ball. They won’t remember what you say, but they will remember an experience.

Create a real sense of community. Let the small group be a place where students can ask real, tough questions. They can experience real dialog and receive authentic answers. We offer what culture can’t. MySpace is a false sense of community.

Give them responsibility. Knowing who you are unlocks passion. Don’t just tell them to be the church, but teach them to be the church.

Leave behind the “don’t” mentality. Instead of telling them what they can’t do, tell them what they can do. Write from filter of grace.

Work together with parents to create dialog and a connection at home. Instead of creating a culture that excludes parents, find ways to help parents and students “win” in their desire to connect with one another.

XP3
Small Group Dialog.
Your job is to set up discussion and create meaningful conversations.
Begin with “What did the speaker say tonight?” “What did you think about…”
It’s ok to create tension.
What’s the landing point? Give them a closing challenge.
XP = Experience
Home XP = Experience at home. Communicate, challenge and encourage parents.
Teaching Script
Video Elements
Creating the Experience
Middle School Adaptation

Life change happens best in circles, not rows.

Manowe

Rest, deck time, rest, Hope Garden, rest, trails, rest, deck time, rest...
that pretty much somes up my time at Manowe this weekend. It is one of the greatest places on planet earth to hear from Jesus. My head was swirling before I went and now it's stopped. I needed sleep and got it. I needed answers and got them. I needed Jesus and He showed up. Imagine that! It was most excellent!

I went back up there today to shoot some footage for tomorrow. There's just something about that place!

Karissa

Just got some pics from Karissa. She was in our youth ministry for years and is now a missionary in Malawi, Africa. I am so proud of her. She's gone way out of her comfort zone and taken it to whole new levels. Here she is with one of her Malawi friends.

Slow that Train Down

A friend gave me a great piece of advice that has been ever so helpful. It's one simple line that packs a punch, here it is ... wait for it ... wait for it .... "slow that train down". Slow that train down when you're sleep deprived and you can't think straight, sleeplessness only complicates things. Slow that train down when you have a influx of huge amounts of emotions you don't know quite what to do with. Slow that train down when you want to jump to conclusions faster than you can think logically. Slow that train down when... I'm not a counselor, but I've used that line with two other people and she just gave it to me.

Today at Oasis was a day of wonderful surprises. My pal Tristan stopped by and hung out. We reminisced about the days when he used to run the band and him, his sister and I would stay up talking to the early hours of the morning talking about anything and everything. I'd make him call his mom before he went home to let her know he was on his way and he'd always try to pass the buck to me. He's all grown up now, but some things never change. He went home about 1:00 a.m. Seems we still have a lot of stuff to talk about. This time we exchanged his sister, Karissa, for Chris. Karrisa is in Malawi for a second six month mission trip tour. Good times.

I had some parents stop by and give me an encouraging card and a gift. They waited in line for 20 minutes as I talked to a group of girls and a group of guys who wanted to chat for awhile about some stuff. The mom's words, "it's been on our heart to do this for awhile and it seemed like today would be a good day". Timing = perfect! I was deeply touched and totally encouraged. This card...after an appropriate time on my desk will be kept in my special encouragement file under "God's timing perfect, funny how He works that way".

I love this picture

I normally take HORRIBLE pictures, keeping my eyes open is a miracle in any of them, but this one I like. It was from Second Saturday last weekend. One day it will make the wall of fame. My prediction, at least three of these young ladies will play some serious college basketball one day. My other prediction, along with scores of other GCC students, all of them are and will represent Jesus well.

I asked Ashley who would win if they played their moms (who are ridiculously amazing) and she thought her and her friends could take them. Now that would be a game to watch...and record!

10 Years Today

Today was the day I crossed over into a new decade. I started getting paid for what I love to do ten years ago today. How does the saying go, "find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life" ... something like that. While the last few days have been a mental and emotional overload, youth ministry is still the love of my life. Great, great days are ahead. I think this weekend we got a taste of it. My family and I went to the 5:30 service, but chose to give up our seats for the house was packed.

Everything is easier with friends

I hate to workout where you go round and round on a treadmill, even with the new attached TVs it's boring to me. However, I love to play just about any sport known to man (or woman). I've been playing basketball for about two months now and, even though my pinkie hasn't recovered from week one, I absolutely love it! With the exception of a 5 minute break, we run from one end to the other for over an hour. It's sweet. Initially, I was fighting for every breath, but after about week two everything was good. What it's done for my mind is amazing as well. The group of women that I play with are fun, amazing and without drama. I'm enjoying getting to know them about as much as I enjoy playing. New friends, good times.

Wow – who changed the light bulb

Did you ever have something you couldn’t quite figure out or put your finger on, but then all of the sudden you got it? Like you had a 60 watt light bulb action going and all of a sudden someone exchanged it for 120 watts. That’s what happened in one split moment in the car going over to the Marriott after a great, but very long, day. What I realized takes a huge weight off my shoulders, but saddens me at the same time. I’m not sure what to do with this new found realization, but will figure it out in time and a whole lot of prayer.

This is what my day looked like:
8:30 a.m. Up and jumpin’ – I hate mornings, always have and always will!
9:30 – 3:00 All day meeting – On a “helpful” scale of 1 to 10, a strong 9.95!
3:00 – 4:00 Checked the Oasis stats that should be showing on email reports. Done and to the amazing Dave!
4:00 – 6:00 Worked on a project I was bent on starting and completing today – Finally!
6:00 – 6:45 Previewed service for tomorrow night – It’ll be a hoot!
6:45 – 9:00 Went to Ruby’s silent auction, got the bids up on a number of them, helped sis clean up (she totally hooked Ruby up with a great conference room) – Go Back2 Back! I will now have a Ruby Moyer wall of fame if I ever find a new house – two paintings and picture.
9:00 – 9:30 Went to see Karen and Bob at Memorial Hospital – both of Bob’s mom and dad are in at the same time – heart attack and possible pneumonia.
9:30 – 11:00 Had dinner with Karen and Bob at Steak and Shake – I love loyal and long-time friends
11:00 – 5:00 Processing a thousand things going through my mind while I finalize some Oasis stuff.
6:13 a.m. Still serious stuff spinning through my head, it will have to finish spinning tomorrow (or I guess, that would mean later today)

Bye, bye Gateway and Dell, make way for the IBM ThinkPad

Computers and me do not get along. I'm convinced there must be magnets in my fingers or something...maybe the Diet Mountain Dew flowing through my veins is really liquid Krypton and has an adverse affect on computers. Ed, in the IT department, is more positive. He thinks I must be doing something pretty amazing for the Kingdom and the Devil tries to derail me through my computer.

First, the Gateway died a slow death (after being wiped clean and having everything reinstalled 3 times), then Dell #1, then Dell #2. I treat them nice, honest I do. They work great for awhile, then they get slower and slower and slower, then they begin crashing and crashing and crashing. You would not believe how many hidden temp files (or whatever they're called) I have from crashing. Today, when I booted my computer, my pal Phil couldn't believe I still couldn't get to my email 10 minutes after hitting the "on" button.

Fortunately, I only needed to get on for awhile this morning, then I shut that thing off for the very last time and traded it in for an IBM ThinkPad. IT is convinced there is no way this thing is going to die on me. I hope they are sooooooooooo very right!

Roxanne and Dan

Roxanne and I have been prayer partners for over a decade. She loves her brothers fiercely. I cannot even count the times we prayed for her brother Dan. He won a huge battle with alcohol around two years ago. This weekend he came to GCC...and totally LOVED it! It was kind of funny actually, Corey was telling me today how his brother kept thinking "he's talking to me, he's talking to me" when Mark spoke. Tonight, Roxanne told me Dan thought the same thing. What a great weekend for all, especially a couple of brothers.

Just Under the Wire

Next weekend is a BIG weekend at Granger Community Church. It's when we take our first offering that will go toward the MyLife campaign. I was having a hard time looking forward it knowing that I hadn't completed my Come Together campaign pledge yet. I can come up with a thousand excuses why, like I didn't think I'd spent over a grand in December making improvements to my house in order to sell it. However, in the back of my mind, a commitment is a commitment. If you say you'll show up, show up. If you say you'll do it, do it. If you make a promise, figure out a way to keep it. No one should ever have to ask or wonder if something is going to get done that you said you'd do. In my mind, if I can't be trusted to make good on my commitments, that's a huge statement about my character and integrity (of course, there are those rare exceptions, but even when you have to back out of those, there is a way to do it right). So all of that left me wondering and praying, "How am I going to pull this off?" As God would have it, the tax check came in the nick of time! Come Together is OFFICIALLY paid off! Now, I can get stoked about next week!

Nothing Beats a One-on-One (or two) Done Well

I went out to lunch three times today.

The first one was with an amazing group of friends that I do lunch with every Thursday. I absolutely love it and the conversation - we talk about the Bible, life, struggles and ministry, in addition to venturing down 100 rabbit trails each week. Today, we talk about how some friendships are seasonal, you have them for awhile and then you move your separate ways. You're still friends, but the calls and gatherings become less frequent. There is nothing wrong with that at all, it's called life. However, I love the few that you do life with - no matter how chaotic, messy or beautiful life has been. It's both refreshing and necessary.

The second one was a one-on-two with a former Oasis student. When she got into high school she made some classic mistakes. We lost touch for awhile, but now she's back. She's making better choices. It was a great time. Her son, Trenton, is adorable. I hope she gets back into church for his sake and hers. She's an amazing young lady.

The third one was a one-on-two with a current Oasis student. She's a 13 year old who writes and speaks like someone twice her age. I was worried about her because of something I read, but didn't really know her that well. Before I talked with her mom, I wanted to get a feel if it was a "bad day" kind of thing or something more serious. So, I asked her and her Eagle's Nest (breakout group) leader to join me for a Coke. I knew having her Eagle's Nest leader there would make the both of us feel more comfortable . . . and I was so right. Turns out after about an hour, I found this young lady to be bright, fun and totally amazing. We talked and everything is good. I told her I had to tell her mom about what I read, because if I was a mom, I'd want to know. At that point, I could have gotten any reaction. But, like I said, she's amazing and was ok with it. Turns out, she has one amazing mom and a pretty cool little brother too.

Promo Video for Oasis

Corey did a fun video to promo the Chicago 07 mission trip this summer. You can see it here.

They are so much better than back in the day

Just got back from watching Ashley Lutz, Taylor Lutz and Alex Morton play basketball at MBA and ND ... they are off the hook. I don't ever remember girls playing that well back in the day. Last year at camp when they beat the guys at lunch, I thought it was a combo of skill and luck. After seeing them play, it was all skill baby. AMAZING. As of now both teams are undefeated this weekend! I hope they take the championship for their respective age divisions.

Last night I went and saw the 6th and 8th grade Schmucker bands and the 8th grade Discovery band play at Penn. Once again, I was stunned. I actually expected my ears to be bloodied after the event, but the bands totally rocked. In between band performances, we took in the 8th grade Schmucker Cinderella play (the other half of the 8th grade did Aladdin last week). Watching Ashley play the role of the wicked step-sister and CJ dance was a hoot. The whole class did incredibly well, but the sound system did not do them justice. I hope they get that fixed. The kids worked so hard and did so well, then to have the sound constantly crackle or inaudible made me want to scream.

People Must Have Thought I Was Insane

Just got back from the wrestling meet ... Discovery vs. Grissom ... where people must have thought I was nuts. One minute I was cheering for Grant on the Grissom team and the next minute I was cheering for Jerrod on Discovery's team. At one point Knute went up against Ryan. Zowee...tough stuff. Got a chance to talk with Knute afterwards, he's a pretty amazing guy. If you look up good sportsmanship in the dictionary, you'll see Knute's picture next to the definition. In the end, it came down to the final match when Joe (Grissom) pinned his guy in nothing flat. Great guys, good times.

Division + Drama = Draining

I hate division and drama, it wipes me out. I think Satan's number one goal in life is to get Christians to lose sight of the real enemy and shoot arrows at each other. He's doing a pretty good job in a couple of situations with people whom I love dearly. I'm hoping prayer and communication will clear the air. We need to guard each others hearts, have each others backs and cheer each other on.

Schmucker Middle School Play

Went with the amazing Jeanna Trip to see a handful of our students in the Schmucker Middle School play. Turns out we saw a few dozen of them. Wow, I think half of Oasis' Schmucker students were in or at the play. They did a great job despite the fact that the star broke his foot two weeks ago. You could tell students were having a good time. I know Jeanna and I did.

Afterwards Jeanna's comment to me was priceless. She said, "Judy you could tell it meant a lot to them that we were there." Thats one, among many of our leaders, who truly "gets it". I love it!

This week was the Jimtown/John Young basketball game and Schmucker school play, next week is the Grissom/Discovery wrestling match and middle school band extravaganza at Penn.

Basketball

Went to see my pal Kelsey's basketball game tonight and it turns out she's playing Chelsea and Rebeccah's team. Ugh, now that's just cruel. Chelsea brings the ball down the court and who does she go up against? None other than Kelsey. Who am I supposed to cheer for? Huh?

The Jimtown Jimmies took the game tonight over John Young. It was fun hanging out with Kelsey's mom. She's a riot. Good times. Good times. While I was there I did get to show off my basketball wound. Two days into playing basketball and I already have a injury, what is that? My poor little pinkie is bruised and swollen. Looks kind of like a purple popsicle. I love showing it to people and hearing the "Ewww, what did you do?" I didn't know I enjoyed sympathy so much, even if it's just for my poor little pinkie.

Ruth - The Band

Corey "the Mann" hooked Oasis up with a band on Wednesday night. Warning...Good Times Ahead!

Weekend Recap

FRIDAY
Friday morning I hit the court running...literally. Theresa invited me to play basketball with some of her friends. I had a GREAT time for a number of reasons. Because...
1. I love basketball.
2. Theresa's friends are cool nondramatic women who kick tail (mostly my tail) at basketball.
3. I love to exercise without realizing I'm exercising. On the court, I'm just having fun. On the treadmill, I'm working out. I like having fun, I don't like working out.

I know this sounds disgusting, but I was drenched in sweat when I was done and actually had a smile on my face. I found out full court basketball for an hour can give you quite the workout. They play three times a week. I hope I stick with it...I hope they stick with it. If that happens, it's exactly what I've been looking for.

Friday night some leaders and I went to see Kasie and Corey's high school play. I'm not huge on plays, but this one was awesome and funny. They did an incredible job. Afterwards a bunch of us went out to dinner at Chili's. The dinner was expensive but the chips were good...and the company, even better.

SATURDAY
I spent all day Saturday with Seth and the Five Star Crew in Chicago. A great time was had by all. In the beginning I didn't think it was going to be possible to make the seven girls I had all happy, but with a little strategic planning at the lunch table we pulled it off. The only regret was the $7 we all paid for the "Fun House" at Navy Pier. The Fun House was not so fun. My only other purchase was for "Jesus" bandaids. They were so ridiculously stupid I had to buy them.

I loved hanging with the girls. They're pretty amazing. More and more I realize the truth in Jeanne Mayo's statment "He/she who spends the most time wins." I want that to become the culture of our youth ministry and its leaders. I now have two of the girls in my group coming to Oasis without me ever inviting them, just their friends. Totally cool!

Saturday night I took a student to see "The Ultimate Gift". It was pretty good. I'd give it 4 of 5 stars. It's got a chick flick feel and a couple of great clips I'll one day use. I admit it ... I cried twice. I'm not sure if it was because of the movie or the fact that my muscles were screaming from Friday's workout and Saturday's shopping.

SUNDAY
Went to church Sunday morning 3rd service. I think 90% of GCC's forgot about the time change since 3rd Service was unusually packed. Mark did an amazing job and the video at the beginning was absolutely hilarious. I loved it! Afterwards, I went to lunch with my dad, sister and a couple of students, checked out a house and hit Lifeline. I had a whole entourage up in my office afterwards. It was fun catching up with some of my pals. We've got some of the most amazing students...EVER!

One Sweet Message and Other Stuff

Last Weekend
Last weekend (March 3-4), Rob knocked it out of the park...way out of the park. You can listen to the message here for a couple more days. The Domino Video at the end was sweet. In fact, it was right up there with Rob Bell's Nooma Videos. You've got to watch it.

Conference Call
Today on a conference call with youth pastors around he nation, I was counting my blessings. They were asking the question, "How do we become more missional?" I'm grateful that we've got that one covered, that it's part of our DNA.

Random stuff geeks like me only care about...
30% of our regular students are from Granger
29% from Mishawaka
14% from South Bend
7% from Osceola
6% from Elkhart
6% from Niles
4% from Edwardsburg
4% from various other places

Regular attendees (defined as making 5 of the last 8 Oasis) = 75%
(it could actually be higher, 2 of the 8 we had horrible weather)

Maximum Impact

There are way too many plays, games and concerts to go to given the number of students in our ministry. So, I've boiled it down to three priorities...

1. Jamborees and invitationals where all of our key schools play each other at one central location.
2. Any activity that our high school leaders are in that I find out about. If it's a sport, I at least try and hit one game/meet a year.
3. Any event where a student looks me in the eye and invites me to come.

Last month it was the ISSMA competition at Elkhart Central, this month it was the Wrestling Invitational at Grissom (#1). Last Saturday was Kara's play and this Saturday is Kasie's play (#2). And Friday night will be the middle school play at Discovery (#3).

It was cool seeing all the wrestlers. Our guys did well. However, it was hard to figure out who to cheer for. I have a feeling I might of cheered for an Oasis guy I knew who was competing against an Oasis guy I didn't know. So, about half way through I just started smiling and hoping for the best. After the match, I decided that was my time to go over and give personal encouragement.

John Young took the championship with Grissom coming in a close second. It went right down to the wire.

I had a good time. However, I can't get out of my head one of our students, had we not been there, had no one to cheer him on. Currently he's grounded from Oasis and outside activities for getting into trouble at home. I'm worried about him.

That's one for the encouragement file!

Jeanne Mayo has taught me a lot of things, but one that sticks out in my mind the most is that, when necessary, to ask for encouragement instead of waiting for it. I always need it and I know my leaders always need it. So when a dad came up to me tonight and was bragging on Oasis and the leaders, I asked him if he wouldn't mind saying it again in an email so that I could forward it to my leaders. His words were priceless! Now, I could of tried summarizing it for them, but if it came from him directly it would mean so much more. He went home and did just that. While I removed the names, here's what he had to say...


Dear Judy,

My wife and I want to say thank you for the ministry of Oasis. When we moved here from out of state, our biggest concern was how would our son adjust to the change. God has done so much to help him navigate the transition, but more than anything God has used Oasis to make this new place his new home. He is a sensitive kid and he can sniff out, fairly quickly, "mean" people or people who just don't care. At Oasis, he feels loved authentically and unconditionally. That is, he is accepted as that unique guy that he is. Oasis is fun for him--he insists that we bring him at 4:45 each Wednesday so he can have lots of hang out time and I don't think he has missed an activity since we moved here--but it is more than just fun. The middle school ministry at GCC is transformational for him. He is uplifted, challenged and changed through the worship, teaching and interaction. And by the way, he thought his first experience recently at the Monday night Bible study was "awesome."

Thanks to you and your team for providing normal (read "not religious stick-in-the-mud out of touch with the real world"), crazy, authentic, passionate leadership for him and thank you for helping him to connect with God through worship, scripture, community and outreach. Because you follow Jesus with your whole heart, he is learning how to be a fully-devoted follower of Jesus. As parents, we could not ask for more.

By the way, this is not mere flattery. I waited months to share this because I wanted to see if what you are doing stood the test of time. Any parent or child can be excited about a ministry after an initial impression or just a few weeks, but its the long haul that matters. Accordingly, the fire in him for Oasis, and more importantly for Christ, just grows stronger each week. What you are doing is for real and you are making a lasting difference! Be encouraged because God is using you in the lives of others.

Thanks for the sacrifices you make for all the kids, but especially for the most important kid to us--our son.

THE GIFT - Score

I love it! All the ministries across the church - adult, children, student and college aged - are on the same page. We're all talking about our upcoming opportunity to expand our church and reach out to the community to impact more people (through buying the rest of a city block in the downtown area and adding a commons area and childrens space to our church). We all have differrent names for the series, but all pretty much land on answering and praying through the question "How is God calling me to use my time, talent and resources to affect eternity?"

In Oasis, I wanted to make this an extra special series - something different. Frankly, I'm kind of getting tired of the whole preach a message and walk through some discussion questions "in hope that they'll take what they've heard/talked about and apply it to their lives." It's not bad, we've got hundreds of students that have been impacted in that way. I just think sometimes students need a little extra jump start. So, here's the twist for this series. We've allocated to every breakout group $120 (a total of $1,440). As a group (they can split it by gender if they want), they have to figure out a way to bless others. The only stipulations are that they have to work on it during their breakout group time, it can't involve an event (we are in a six week event blackout so we everyone can concentrate on the campaign) and they can't use more than the money that's been allocated. They are however invited to use their time, talent and resources creatively. In fact, the last week, we will do a video extravaganza of 1-2 minutes summaries of each group and award trophies.

I had no idea had excited the leaders would be about this. They are totally stoked. They all want to bend the rules to make it the coolest thing ever, but I've been keeping them in line. We've got everything from fleece hats being made for babies after they leave the hospital to canvas paintings for nursing homes going on. Fun stuff.

I'm Officially Homeless

Well kinda. I sold my house today!!!!!!! It's a great home, but it's time to move on. It feels like I just moved in yesterday, but it actually was 14 years ago. People have been asking what my plans are now. I have none. I'm still looking for a house to buy or land to build on. I'm pretty picky, that's a problem. The people that bought my house don't want to close on it until the end of May, so I have some time. If not, there's always dad's house for the in between times. However, while I totally love my parents, the thought of moving in with one of them doesn't amuse me. In fact, I think I'll go check realtor.com right now.

Mediocrity Attacks Excellence

At GCC we model excellence (not perfection, but excellence ... doing the very, very best with what you've been given). On occasion we take hits for it. A friend passed this quote along to me that will be a helpful reminder when the arrows start flying.

"Mediocrity attacks excellence."
This is because the person doing a mediocre job looks at those doing excellent and feels he/she should be dong that but is not. They make themselves feel better by attacking.

In a funk with great friends

Did you ever have one of those days - where the computer doesn't want to compute, the printer doesn't want to print, the cutter doesn't want to cut, you forget the post office thinks they should have President's Day off and, if that's not enough, you have these killer professionally printed postcards only to find out the ink is rubbing off on your hands? Basically, where it feels like EVERYTHING takes three times longer than it should, NOTHING is coming out like it should and it's just about ready to DRVE you nuts. That was earlier today.

Fortunately, my day did not end that way. I spent a couple hours this evening with some of my favorite people - Ruby, Jeanna, Jerica, Jeremy and Jason. Over eggs, pancakes and postcards, we laughed and we laughed a lot ... and then we prayed.

Hard days are easier when you're surrounded by great friends.

Too Old for the Terrain Park? I don't think so!

So, got the phone call on Thursday and decided to play hooky on Friday (not really, just decided to work Saturday instead). Roxanne called and asked if I wanted to go skiing the next day. I was cold at the moment and my first instinct was to say "no". But then I remembered that I was no pansy and that it would be fun ... and fun it was. We went old skool and hit the ditch (Swiss Valley). It was beautiful - the sun kept it feeling much warmer than the temperature guage recorded.

The funny part was her and I at the top of the Terrain Park (or whatever it's called where snowboarders look like they are trying to commit suicide). At the bottom was this little two foot jump that if you hit it just right would give you enough air that you felt a little on the extreme side, but not so much that your life would flash before your eyes. We went around all the other obstacles and must of hit that thing a half a dozen times. It was pretty funny, we were like two giggling school girls. So amongst these young bucks, stood two 40+ year olds having the time of their life.

Ouch - That Hurt

The last two days were great days - kinda. In great anticipation that they would not cancel school for a third day, I sat down to type up the message that had been marinating in my mind for a couple of days. Becasue of the marinating, it came easy. I had most of it typed up in a couple of hours. Basically, it was a message about "The Road to the Super Bowl." In it was a bunch of cool ties to the God's Word, the Super Bowl, Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy. I had it all mapped out. When our flight touched down at 1 p.m., I only had a little editing to do to the message and Eagle's Nest Guide, all of which I had done by 3 p.m. Then, some how the most horrific thing that could possilby happen ... happened. I saved the Eagle's Nest Guide right on top of the message and lost it. The unrecoversable...lost it. Admittedly I was stressed for about an hour and then Jesus and I had a one-on-one. It all worked out!

Bring on the Heat

Didn't get a chance to go to the Super Bowl, but did go to the Miami Heat basketball game against the Charolette Bobcats tonight. Dwayne Wade was amazing, the Shaq on the other hand seemed kind of lethargic. Good times, good times.

When we arrived Sunday night, it was like trying to break into Fort Knox. The hotel was swarmed with security and all roads into the hotel were blocked off by police except one. Up until then, I had never had my car searched in order to check into a hotel. There are first for everything. It was kind of fun. In order to get into the hotel, your name had to be on a list, at which time you were issued a a purple silicone wrist band. I wanted to enlighten them and tell them how the majority of junior high students in America has at least five purple silicone wrist bands, but they looked way to serious. ESPN had one floor, the Miami Police another and there were a bunch of old football players and coaches in between.

I wish I was up on my football players. I think I had breakfast in the concierge lounge next to Steve Young. If I was into autographs, I could have had a good time in the lobby Monday morning at check out. All and all, things in Miami have been fun. The highlights have been lots of sleep, 75 degree weather, the Colts win, the Miami Heat game, mastering the Metro People Mover, hanging at the Bayside Marketplace and getting 50% off NFL stuff for Oasis.

Articles

I've now had three internet articles published, which is kinda cool. However, if I had the time to write five more, these are the subjects I'd choose. I'd write them, but just thinking about them makes my head hurt. They've been whirling around in my brain for a couple of weeks now.
1. Balancing Statements - Be careful how you speak when you can influence how others think.
2. Rebellious Spirit - Recognizing when it rears its ugly head in others and in yourself.
3. Lending People Your Status - We're not so different than India.
4. Everyone needs a coach who believes in them - And when you find yours, it makes all the difference in the world.
5. Women in Ministry - What you need to know about them.

Where did the headlights go?

It was back to the ER tonight. My nieces's heart rate is still elevated four days after the accident. It's in the 120's and 130's just standing up, evidently that's not good. Doc says that her heart is probably bruised and she needs to see a cardiologist. After getting the pic of her car, I could see how that might of happened. The blessing and curse of seatbelts.

There's a Rumble Strips sermon illustration in here somewhere for the Oasis series that starts tomorrow night.

Kenya at the end of the year

So word is getting out that some friends and I are going to Kenya at the end of the year. The weird thing is how many random people want to go with us. Personally, I've had over a dozen requests. We're going to hold off on all that though. It's just gong to be an "exploratory" trip. I think it will be about six or seven that I've been doing life with on Monday nights. It should be pretty amazing - a mix of a whole lot of intense ministry and little bit of safarai. The cool thing is the number of connections we are getting from the oddest places. It's the craziest thing.

Off to the SuperBowl...kinda

Just purchased airline tickets to Florida leaving late Saturday through early Wednesday. My sister is working down in Florida where some of the SuperBowl big dawgs are staying. I'm hoping free tickets are coming. If not, it will be a great three days on the beach.

PURE GOLD

Went to Elkhart Central for the ISMA competition on Saturday. Wow. Didn't realize how many of our students I'd run into there...middle school and high school. I'll have to put this on the calendar from here on out.

A Night in the ER

I was sooo looking forward to it! It's the first chance I had in months to sleep until I can't sleep anymore, but it was not to be. I got the call at 1 a.m. that my niece had been in a pretty serious car accident. They took her by ambulance to Elkhart General where they did x-rays, but it appeared to be just some bruising (thank you Jesus for seatbelts and airbags) and a possible broken nose. They sent her home with prescriptions for muscle relaxers and pain. Unfortunately she passed out in the car on the way home after she and her dad stopped at CVS. It was off to Memorial. I met them there at 2 a.m. and the whole process took until noon. While it took forever, Memorial was good and thorough. Turns out she had elevated muscle enzymes (whatever that means), a pretty rapid heartbeat and a kidney infection she didn't know about. After a boatload of IV bags, she was good to go...sore, but good to go.

THE LESSON: I've talked forever about leaders breathing life into their students and the importance of making them feel comfortable. I haven't been on the other end of it in quite awhile though. The entire staff was great at Memorial and all were friendly...except one (she was great, just not friendly - more like ice). It reminded me that we can have an exceptional program, be really good at the stage stuff, but if we are sub-par when it comes to our "friendliness factor" the stage stuff really doesn't matter so much. I'm grateful for the work the Mark W., Shelly, Julie, Susan and the team do to make our church rank high on the "friendliness factor". I'm grateful for what our Oasis team does as well, but am on a mission to take it to a new level. While the saying is getting kind of old, it really is true that "people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

Willow Creek

I'm at Willow for a couple of days with 20+ junior high pastors from around the midwest. It's been pretty amazing. Scott and Jason are hosting and doing a superb job. I love their humility. It's pretty incredible.

We started out yesterday by getting to know each other, sharing info but no ministry numbers (I like that). We ended the first night at New Community with Dr. B. I absolutely loved how Bill Hybels intro'ed his friend. It was "a moment". Dr. B talked about community and oneness. Two random points I wrote down.
1. God's first command to man - go and multiply.
Jesus last command to man - go and multiply.
Church is a human invention if it has no community.
2. It is better for there to be no lighthouse than a lighthouse with no light. Wow.

Today we finished the introductions and decided on three topics to discuss.

The first one, "spiritual formation", was pretty deep - kinda of made my head hurt...in a good way. I came away with more conviction than ever to figure out some quantitative measures - not to determine our success, but our progress. The difficult part will be to determine what the right measurements will be. I need to think about this a whole lot more.

The second topic was on ministering to parents. I got some great ideas and a renewed passion to invest in parents more - both our churched and our unchurched. Good stuff.

We ended tonight at GameWorks were I got lucky and beat a couple of guys in basketball...and then I got smoked.

Flip that house in 7 days

I've been frantically running to and fro...trying to get my home ready to sell in hopes that I could purchase this sweeeeeeeeeeeet home in Savannah Pass. It's awesome. Unfortunately the buyer and I are about fifteen grand apart on the price. Fortunately, the builder thinks he can rebuild it cheaper than I could buy the one I want. That would be cool since the super sweet house has CREAM carpet and FLAT paint on the walls, not good for youth ministry.

This is the stuff that's been done to my house in the last 7 days...
Bathroom tile replaced
Bathroom toliet fixed
Yard cleaned
Garage cleaned
Garage door opener fixed (not bad after 4 years of being broken)
Furniture in 5 rooms rearranged
Wall paper stripped in the kitchen
Kitchen painted
Hutch painted
Every square inch of kitchen cleaned
New flooring put in the kitchen (I did that myself, I'm so proud)
New trim put in the kitchen
Every ounce of trim cleaned in house (after 15 years, admittedly gross)
Trim painted in living room and hallway - TWICE
Living room and hallway painted - including ceiling and doors
Various holes patched
Carpet cleaned
...and the list goes on!

The good news is that boatloads helped.
Thanks Sherri, Mom, Dad, Mike, Loretta, Kyle, Karen, Hilary, Zach, Evan, Carole, Wendy, Naomi, Jeanna, Ruby, Jeremy, DC and Brooke...and scores of others. Thanks guys, you made the impossible...possible.

Wicked - The Play

I'm grateful that Corey and Johnny invited me to the prequel to the Wizard of Oz. I didn't know if I would like it. I'm not sure where I stand on the whole "Wicked" title and the fact that it's about witches. However, I found it to be AMAZING with potential for great discussion opportunities for those old enough to process it (my recommendation would be mature junior high, high school and on up).

Elphabai is born out of an adulterous relationship (which you don't see visually, but is insinuated) and is battling rejection and is searching for significance and her father's love. I've seen the second half of that line (the yellow part) up close and personal in youth ministry time and time again. Glinda begins the play as a spoiled brat. We get to see her move from being inward focused to outward focused throughout the play.

I started to drift a little right before they hit this scene known as Defying Gravity. It's where Elphabai has had enough. Wow, it was POWERFUL. I wish I could have of replayed it a few dozen times! Interesting enough, that was the students' favorite scene as well. There was something that resonated in our souls. Read some of the lyrics.

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by
The rules of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes
And leap...

I'm through accepting limits
Cuz someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost

With a lot of things, there is a dark and light side of the lyrics...depending on the PERSPECTIVE you CHOOSE to take. But what a great conversation starter. Especially the fact that it was the favorite scene of most there.

I understand and respect the views of those who support seeing the play and totally respect and understand those who choose not to. I know the verses that can support both sides. However, for me, this provoked a lot of thoughts within that will be fun to chew on in the coming days. If I had a kid, here are dinner discussion questions for after the play.

1. How does her mother's sin (adultery) affect Elphabai? What other sin do you see in the world that affects generations to come?

2. What deep hurts is Elphabai facing from the get go in regard to her relationship with her father? Do you ever struggle with rejection, significance or feeling loved? If so, when? In what situations are you most susceptible to feeling that way? (Hurt, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Etc.) What are positive ways to deal with those situations and feelings? (This question alone could take you all dinner long)

3. Who else in your life do you know that might be feeling a little green like Elphabai (hurt, rejected, insignificant or unloved)? How can you help?

4. What scene hit you the most and why?

5. How can the words that Elphabai said in the Defying Gravity scene be looked at as good? As bad? (Good: It's important that you don't let other people define your worth or determine your potential. Bad: Could stir up a rebellious spirit against authority which we are called to submit to.)

6. There's a famous quote "hurt people, hurt people." What does that mean and where do you see it in the play?

7. How do you feel about the fact that Elphabai, the wicked witch, turns out to be mostly good ... and Glinda and Dorothy not as good as you originally thought? Does that confuse you?

8. Tell me about the transformation you saw in Glinda from the beginning to the end.

9. Some people would object to you seeing this play. There is Biblical evidence that supports it, what is it? What Biblical evidence supports you seeing it? Why do you think I wanted you to see it? Why do you think it's important for me to download with you what you saw tonight?

10. What is the one take away lesson you got from seeing this play?

Yes, I fully realize that I'm probably the only geek on planet earth that would come up with disucssion questions for a kid I don't have at a ridiculous hour in the morning (it's 1:07 a.m.). The good news is that I stopped at 10 questions, I easily could of came up with 30.

Grace College Youth Ministry Students

A week ago Wednesday, TK brought up about 25 of his students from Grace College to observe Oasis. I had a chance to hang with them afterwards for about 45 minutes and cast vision for what GCC and Oasis is all about. They were pretty sharp. This is the third year they've been up. They go and observe a youth minstry and then process the experience together. I totally love that.

Turns out that Grace College kind of sub-contracts out to The National Institute (aka CE National) for their youth ministry program (I'm sure that's not the correct terminology, but is how the business world would describe it). I think they've got a good thing going on. It's one thing to learn from a book, it's another thing to experience it from a number of different perspectives up close and personal. Both are important.

I was impressed with TK that he followed the visit up with a thank you note and a free t-shirt. Everyone can use a thank you note and a free t-shirt, it's like pie and chips.

Just Do It

I was on my way out of town and wanted to drop a good friend an email. It wasn't much of an email, in fact I almost didn't send it becasue I didn't have the time to write a whole lot. But she was on my mind, so I zipped one off and pray for her every time she comes to mind. Here's part of her response.

hey judy,
...i almost cried when i got your email ... just knowing that you love me and are praying for me is everything i could ask for...

Why do I share it? Because chances are there is someone you care about that you've been meaning to email that you've held off on because you don't have time to say in depth what you want to say. Just do it. A small something is better than silence. One of my big learning points a couple of years ago was that if you fail to say anything, people begin to write their own story - even your own family and friends. A friend has taught me well that you can't tell people they're amazing, you care about, you're thinking about them, etc. often enough!

Potatoes, Pizza, Penguins, Parties and the Pause Button

Zowee! What a Weekend.

It started at 9:00 a.m. on Saturday when we zipped off to Feed the Children to pack 30,000 pounds of potatoes into 10 lb bags. It was fun but they made me sneeze. Brandon and I took on this one box and conquered it in no time, then off to another. Not a ton of students showed up, about a dozen or two which is totally cool since we had 155+ last weekend. We had a blast and finished by 11:45 p.m.

Then it was off to celebrate the students who did the 3 week Bible Challenge through the book of John at 12:30 p.m. There were nearly 30 of us. We did a CiCi's pizza run where it was fun to hang out for awhile, then it was off to the movie Happy Feet. I didn't do my homework on this movie which makes me want to smack myself. I know most students didn't catch what I caught, but I hated the Penguin spirits, inappropriate song and the adult humor that they tried to slip in to make it fun for parents and kids. However, there was some clean humor that made me laugh out loud and I enjoyed the storyline (incredibly close to Rudolph and the island of misfit toys though). Next time I think it's going to be a 3 week Bible Challenge where we celebrate with Pizza and Bowling.

I didn't think I was going to make it for the 20th year picture for those that have been at GCC forever. It was scheduled to take place at 4 p.m. and we didn't get back until our scheduled time of 4:15 p.m. I called Loretta and she said if I busted it I could still make it. I threw on my shirt and jacket in my office (I didn't think that people would appreciate the sweatshirt I had on that smelled like Potato dirt) and jumped in for the final snap. Good times.

It was off to service that night to celebrate 20 years. Very cool, very cool. God has had GCC on an amazing journey...AMAZING. Even though it's been phenomenal, I really do believe the best is yet to come. I'm glad I get to do the next 20 with my sister by my side.

Among a half a dozen other things on Sunday, we celebrated my sister's birthday. Great fun was had by all at Olive Garden. None of our family discussions ended in a trainwreck which was awesome. At one point I did sense a conversation that was going to quickly tank, so I redirected our topic. Family dynamics...they're a great training ground for life, work and ministry.

I'm looking forward to the next two days. I'm hitting the pause button and devoted them to complete solitude at Oakwood. I'll be working, but it's a different kind of work. It's not the daily rush to address the immediate and important, but a couple of days set aside to address the really important.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller

Great Quote by Donald Miller in Searching for God Knows What

“It makes you feel that as a parent the most important thing you can do is love your kids, hold them and tell them you love them because, until we get to heaven, all we can do is hold our palms over the wounds. I mean, if a kid doesn’t feel he is loved, he is going to go looking for it in all kinds of ways. He is going to want to feel powerful or important or tough, and she is going to want to feel beautiful and wanted and needed. Give a kid the feeling of being loved early, and they will be better at negotiating that other stuff when they get older. They won’t fall for anything stupid, and they won’t feel a kind of desperation all the time in their souls. It is no coincidence that Jesus talks endlessly about love. Free love. Unconditional love.”

The Best Fundraiser Ever

Totally missed out on it. I'm on a conference call with youth pastors around the U.S. right now and they are talking about the bank they are making on PS3's. They currently have one on Ebay with three minutes left...price right now $5,300. Ugh.

It's Got Me Thinking

Went to one of Corey's links and find this quote from Tommy Barnett...

"If you take care of the people that nobody wants, God will send you the people everybody wants." I'm sure they have said that a hundred times. But it is true. Tommy told me, "we believe money follows ministry" and he also told me "in the last five years I have had 15 people give me $1 million...that never happened before the Dream Center."

JEANNE MAYO'S COMING TO GRANGER COMMUNITY CHURCH

Who: Jeanne Mayo at GCC
When: Friday, January 19
Time: 6-10 p.m. (time might be tweaked)
Cost: $25, includes Chic-fil-A
Two words...BE THERE!

Shouldn't it cost more you might ask? No doubt! However, my heart's desire is for you to get your entire team here for the evening. You'd be crazy to keep this all to yourself...crazy!

Ok, I'm going to go and do back flips now!

It's the Coolest

I have to agree with my buddy Jason Raitz that this is the coolest blog (or website or whatever it is) EVER!

www.phatterism.com

On Teaching Your Child to Impact their World - Part 2

PRINCIPLE #2 - WHAT GETS REWARDED, GETS REPEATED.

This means more and more to me each day. It's a loaded phrase. Most people think of a "reward" as being something of a more tangible nature. I think the best rewards have nothing to do with being tangible. If fact, for me personally, tangible is too easy - busting a twenty out of the wallet just doesn't cut it. I think kids are more interested in being rewarded with your TIME and your ATTENTION than tangible things (they might not know it or say it, but they are).

Here's a question, "What actions, attitudes, words and deeds are so important to you that you will get STRATEGIC about rewarding them to ensure they get repeated." Feeding the cat...not so much (however, good for the cat and might be necessary to keep the cat), telling the truth when they easily could have chosen not to...ginormous, thinking of others over themselves...priceless.

In my opinion, two of the best rewards for kids are when you...
1. Take the time to SHOW THEM WHAT'S IMPORTANT BY DOING IT WITH THEM. It's the whole "it's more caught than taught" principle. Better yet, make certain things a family traditon...make them a "big deal". An example might be, "I wouldn't think of doing anything the Second Saturday of the month. It's already blocked out. That's when me and my dad begin by serving in the community somewhere and then go have lunch at our favorite restaurant in our favorite booth."

I remember, like it was yesterday, the day my dad let me and my sister skip school in 4th grade to go fishing. I felt loved and important that day. It was huge. It would have been cool if it would have became a family tradition (not that fishing is important, but a day fully devoted to being together is).

2. Send them a handwritten note, capture it in a picture or look me them in the eye and tell them HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU and/or HOW MUCH IT MEANT TO YOU (once again, reinforcing an action, attitude, word or deed). I catch myself doing "fly bys" way too often..."You're awesome!" as I fly by on the way to wherever I'm headed. That's not wrong because they really are awesome; however, most kids are dying to know "Really, you think so...I hope you think so...I hope I am so...tell me specifically why you think so?" Look them in the eye and say it, write it down for them to read and reread, capture the picture worth a thousand words to illustrate it and authentically tell them why.

Chances are when they go off to college, in their room you'll find they still have the letter (a little more worn than before) and the picture is still sitting on top their dresser...but better than all of that is what you will have instilled in them as young men and women Christ followers.

What kind of actions, attitudes, words and deeds are most important to you? Have you ever thought about it? What gets reported, gets repeated!

On Teaching Your Child to Impact their World - Part 1

Today was an AMAZING day! Started out at 8:15 a.m. and ended at midnight...non-stop action - Feed the Children, CiCi's, Five Star, Shawn McDonald and Texas Roadhouse (the only time out, which wasn't really a time out, was spent getting my car unstuck out of the mud at Manowe).

After crashing for a few hours, I woke up reflecting on the day. I think within it lies the principles for teaching your son or daughter to impact the world (LOVING OTHERS). Some things go without saying, you need to teach your child to (1) KNOW AND LOVE JESUS and (2) KNOW AND LOVE GOD'S WORD (TRUTH), but consider them said.

PRINCIPLE #1 - START EARLY

In order to help your son or daughter realize they can impact their world, you need begin instilling it in them at an early age. At GCC, we believe kids aren't the church of tomorrow, but the church of today and they have a role to play. There is a place and room for them to serve today, at the rip old age of 3. Below is picture proof at Feed the Children today. I could be wrong, but I think a couple of them were still in diapers.

Attitude of Gratitude

Whether on top of a mountain or in a valley, I've been working on this "have an attitude of gratitude" since Camp Adventure this summer. I lost sight of it for a week or two earlier in the fall, but am back on track. So here are a few current and up and coming things I'm grateful for or excited about.

Had an incredible conversation with Rob on Wednesday. Afterwards, I gave God thanks for him injecting his passion and love for Jesus into me over a decade ago. It still remains.

GCC will be celebrating it's 20th anniversary next weekend. That's very cool, especially since I've been here over 18 of them. Had it not been for Mark and putting feet to his dream, I'd still be trying to find the gold at the end of the corporate rainbow. We also have a new campaign starting in February. They can be downers for some; however, campaigns to me are a sign of growth and changed lives for Christ. I heard of a church that is in a deconstruction phase in Illinois, that breaks my heart.

DC and Brooke are coming back to town. DC will oversee the youth ministry department for GCC. They are an AMAZING couple full of life and integrity.

The little Mann will be arriving in January. I like to watch Corey's face when he talks about him.

Willow's Scott Rubin, Jason Raitz and I were in email conversations today about a gathering being pulled together. I feel pretty honored to be a part of it and included in the planning. These guys are incredible - humble, encouraging and sharp. They're hearts are gold. Jesus shines brightly in them and through them.

Jeanne Mayo may be coming to GCC in January. If it doesn't work out, I'll still see her down in Atlanta that same week. Words cannot describe how she breathes life into me, not to mention she's stinkin' brilliant. On Thursday, both she and Rob sent me emails that were strickingly similiar...I've got that little God moment tucked away in my heart.

Rob Bell is doing a "Isn't She Beautiful" church conference at Mars Hill soon! Met Steve Carter, their middle school guy, this week. He loves Jesus and has got the goods! I'm looking forward to getting to know him and about his ministry more in January.

Corey and I have breathtakingly awesome leaders and students in our ministries. I stand in awe of them every week.

It seems like God is doing something pretty incredible in student ministry leaders across the country. I've never felt such a sense of unity and encouragement across denominations. I'm part of three different gatherings that are as different as night and day (seriously) and my sensing is the same in all three - that we are on the verge of something. I don't want to sound all mystic or anything, but the days ahead seem like they have the potential to be pretty exciting.

532...It looks good...but not so much

Wednesday night we hit an all time high at Oasis (not including outreach nights) of 532 students and leaders. That's worthy of celebration; however, a short lived one. Our averages are a little off this year, plus we're all over the chart (there were 59 less students last week). I've got some thougths as to why, primarily our promtion has stunk this year. I'll have to get working on that.

"I Feel Loved Tank" Response

THIS RESPONSE FROM A FRIEND AND AN AMAZING LEADER IS TOO BRILLIANT NOT TO SHARE.

You’re right. The “how loved I feel tank” would be a vital part of that emotional tank we all deal with every day—probably THE most important part of that tank. It’s a tank I’ve chosen to mentally prioritize in my relationship with others and give away “on purpose.” It’s also a tank I’ve mentally studied with regards to myself to see what “fills me up.” I’ve learned that I need to orchestrate my life in a way that strategically fills that tank for me, rather than being at the mercy of others to do it.

Let me give you some of my thoughts:
I TAKE STEPS TO KEEP MY OWN LOVE-TANK FULL BY:
1. Making time in my schedule for a few replenishing relationships...even when I don’t “have time.” They are often kids for me or some of my key leaders. Just people I really enjoy being around.

2. I know that when I don’t carve out solitude time for myself, even a couple of hours in the evening, when I don’t have to do anything at all (though I always have MORE work I NEED to do) that I will soon start to feel empty in my love-tank. Giving myself private, alone-time WITHOUT GUILT OR RESPONSIBILITIES is my personal “love language” to myself. I think it’s important that a personal look inside themselves and determine what their own “ME TO ME LOVE LANGUAGE” is.

3. I need some time to hang out with Jesus OUTSIDE...in nature. Crazy, but I’ve learned that it makes a difference on me.

4. I’ve also learned certain self-talk voices in my head that the enemy always seems to send to beat me down. I’ve identified those same thought patterns as him. Thus, I don’t take them too seriously anymore. The less seriously I take them, the more they seem to lose their grip on me.

A FEW OF THE STEPS I’VE TAKEN TO FILL OTHER PEOPLE’S LOVE TANK:
1 I realize that I best fill others when my own is pretty full.

2. I realize that I can only truly “pour” into a few tanks significantly...on a regular basis (ie...my key leaders) Thus, I choose mentally who will be my key responsibilities.

3. I realize that small deposits in many other people’s love tanks will have high returns PRIMARILY BECAUSE OUR SOCIETY LEAVES MOST OF US SO TERRIBLY EMPTY. Thus, I’ve trained myself to know the importance of short, authentic words of affirmation to people, even when I am merely quickly walking past them. Small things, done in a Christ honoring spirit, really do make a big difference.

4. I train others around me on affirmation and bringing out the best in others often. It’s a key cornerstone for the culture I’ve always tried to create (family, affirmation, authenticity)...because I realize very few people do it intuitively. They have to be encouraged in that direction. Like I talk small groups constantly from a pragmatic side of the fence, I choose to talk affirmation and family constantly from an emotional culture side.

5. I love reading...and re-reading books that make me better on stuff like this (ie. “Bringing out the best in people” by McGinnis.

Hope that’s enough to get your head going.

GREAT QUESTION.

Our "How Loved I Feel" Tank

I'm in conversations with some friends about what I call our "How Loved I Feel" tank and how it affects who we are and how we respond...thoughts, actions, motives, self-worth, identity, etc. If you have any thoughts or know of any good books on the topic, email me at jgregory@gccwired.com.

I'm looking forward to our conversation

Tonight was...well...interesting. I went to Toni Jackmovich's funeral. She was an incredible mom and grandma. She worked as a kindergarten assistant for twenty-five years (I can't imagine being a kindergarten assistant for twenty-five minutes). She was the mother-in-law of a long time friend of mine. It was a Catholic funeral. Fortunately, I had my sixth grade teacher sitting next to me to interpret the whole thing...like who is Maria and Regina (Mary if you didn't know)? Andy was sitting behind me...I think we were both clueless.

The cool part was that I was able to connect with one of my best friends since 7th grade that I've lost touch with over the last couple of years. Today, we are as different as night and day, but I still love her dearly. Our beliefs are...we'll just say different. At the end of the funeral we jetted over to Clay High School to see her daughter's middle school orchestra concert. We arrived just in time to see them come out, which was kinda cool since I saw scores of Oasis students stream out the door. As we went to go our separate ways, she said "I've wanted to email you some stuff for awhile, but am waiting for the right time. I want you to know why I believe what I believe." I told her not to wait, but let's do it face to face. We both know that neither one of us is going to change our beliefs, we are both too stubborn for that. However, I am so looking forward to the dialogue, to conversing with someone outside of my Christian bubble. It should be fun.

Systems

Great words from Andy Stanley on Tony Morgan's November 7th blog post here. It's want I've found that youth pastors need the most help on.

I Love this Country

Confession time. I only started voting a few years ago. I know, I know, "What, am I stupid?" No, well maybe. Basically one of my parents and I would make a deal. "You don't vote and, then, I won't vote and we'll both save time." You see they are pretty much for one party and I am for the other. So whether we vote or don't vote, no party is further ahead. That was all good until I began thinking about what my not voting was communicating. Suddenly I started looking at the percentage of voter turnout. At that time, it was pretty pathetic (and probably still is). I realized no one knew about "the deal", but what they did know and probably wrote their own story about was the fact that it doesn't appear Americans care or appreciate the privilege and opportunity that lies before them. So starting that day and today...I voted. We live in a pretty amazing country even with it's kinks in the political system.

Gas to voting station...28 cents,
15 minutes to get there and vote...5-6 bucks,
Freedom...priceless

Short Films

A thought provoking post on short films here.

Notes from this weekend

Your desire for kingdom purposes needs to be bigger than your own insecurities.

Testimonies after retreats are important.

Message prepared in the mind reaches the mind. A message prepared in the heart will reach the heart.

Communication experts say that you have to say something seven times for 92% to hear it.

Always answer the “why” behind the “what”.

Never rules, just guidelines.

Communication: 7% content, 38% tone of voice, 55% body language

Don’t have gay overtones in dramas and stuff, you’re killing people. There are people who struggle in the crowd. As we go, the more we’ll see extraordinary people who have touched into the homosexual lifestyle. Statistics tell me that 25% of the youth pastors in this room has touched into the gay lifestyle.

Drama goes after humor and heart. Your plot line has to connect to their life. Can’t just be cool, you got to be able to feel.

Don’t come at a kid with a bad attitude with a bad attitude. You don’t need to do that.

Sometimes give people parts just to get them to the retreat.

Digitaljuice.com (check out this website for software)

If you have no hope for the future, there is no power for the present.

Creative Leader by Ed Young (book recommended by Cory)

Big heart is ultimately more important than big group. Unfortunately, big group can be grown without big God.

Persistence is the greatest revenge you can ever pay to Hell. Refuse to give up. However, you can’t coach someone who doesn’t want to be coached. Sometimes you have to give people air (still saying, however, “I will never give up on you, you know where you can find me.”)

Emotional adultery can even creep up on those who live for Jesus wholeheartedly, so guard your emotions fiercely. Emotional adultery occurs when you have emotional needs being met by another person that should only be met by Jesus Christ or your spouse.
Indicators or signs that you may be heading toward emotional adultery:
You care too much how you look when you’re around a particular person.
You always make time for a particular person.
Can happen with same sex.
There are changes in your voice tones with a particular person.
Devil makes sure to meet emotional needs when they’re not being met. Adultery doesn’t start in the bedroom, but starts in the emotions. If you ignore it, it will become a beast to sever.

Don’t overlook the normal kids in your youth ministry. Normal kids will probably be the long haul heroes many years from now. They don’t necessarily have a lot of highs and lows, but have a bent toward consistency – they will out stay everyone.

Successful youth ministries are process driven, not event driven. Process is smaller.

Family always trumps cool.

Nights I feel like a failure are often Hell anointed distortions of reality. Mark it down. The mind games will be eternal so learn to fight back.

Words can't even begin to describe

My world was rocked last weekend. I think my life was transformed. We'll see. Time will tell whether it's the real deal or a spiritual/emotional high. I think it was the real deal. I want it to be the real deal. If the drive home was any indication, it was the real deal.

I did four things on the way home.

1. Drove in awe of God's creation. The colors on the trees had totally changed, like my heart, from when I drove down to when I drove back. It was beautiful, more beautiful than words can describe.

2. I listened to Hillsong's United We Stand song #6 and #10 at least 15 times each. They were the theme songs used at the retreat this weekend and the last Cadre. They penetrated heart and ministered to my soul.

3. I listened to Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis twice. Evidently he did a "Doubt Night" at his church where people were encouraged to write down whatever questions or doubts they had about God. He captured my heart when he said, "Most of my responses were about how we need others to carry our burdens and how our real needs in life are not for more information but for loving community with others on the journey. But what was so powerful for those I spoke with was that they were free to voice what was deepest in their hearts and minds. Questions, doubts, struggles. It wasn't the information that helped them-it was simply being in an environment in which they were free to voice what was inside." In light of my new job responsibilities over student small groups, that was huge.

4. Reflected on the weekend. Jeanne Mayo continues to amaze me. Her heart's desire is that "those that know her best would love her most." The closer you get to her the more amazing she gets. She sent me one of the most encouraging email today I think I've ever received. It's the kind of email you'd want to receive from one of your heroes. It's the kind of emails I want to begin writing.

My prayer, whatever is going on inside of me right now would stick. My inner circle sense a transformation has occurred. I hope so.

Oasis - GameDay - Go Wide - 10.18.06

Last week's discussion guide, cue sheet and message at Oasis. We had a lot of fun, students laughed a lot, loved the videos and clapped at the end of each one. Good times, good times.


Oasis Eagle’s Nest Discussion Guide
GameDay – Go Wide – 10.18.06

A Note to Leaders:
Hi friends! As Mark played this weekend's video of the SMT guys talking about who their "Samuels" were in their lives, I thought about you! Did you notice that most of their Samuels spoke into their lives when they were in middle and high school? You are Samuel for many of our students. While you may or may not remember them for years to come, they will remember you. Keep loving, encouraging and speaking life into them – they matter, you matter and Jesus matters! With much love and appreciation, Judy

Sub-Divide Your Eagle’s Nest into Smaller Groups and Take Attendance 5 minutes
Sub-divide into as many small groups as your leadership base can handle. Chris will be coming around to check on you. If you need an additional leader, we’ll figure out how to get you one.

Have each student fill out a small card with their FIRST and LAST name on it. Check the cards as you collect them, our students have a sense of humor sometimes. If someone is new, ask them if they filled out a big card at the registration table (if not, give them one of the big cards in your box).


Discussion Questions: 20 minutes
1. Go around the circle and quickly do names.

2. Give everyone a pack of Skittles (in your EN box). Let them eat them (but not throw them).

3. Is there a favorite color of Skittle that you like to eat first? If so, which color?

4. Let’s say people are like Skittles, are there certain types of people you gravitate toward first or connect with better? (athletes, skaters, gamers, burly, girly, tom-boyish, etc.)? Describe them.

5. What’s good about that?

6. What’s bad about that?

7. Think of the people in your school. Who are potential students that might fall through the cracks in regard to having great friends to do life with?

8. What about Mark (from video), would he be the type of student who might fall through the cracks? Why?

9. What are the risks that we take when we reach out to people that aren’t like us?

10. What are the potential rewards when we reach out to people, regardless of whether they are like us or not?

11. Mark is physically handicapped, but totally together emotionally, relationally, mentally and spiritually. He’s a great guy. However, there are people who look all together on the outside, but are hurting like crazy – almost handicapped like – on the inside. Think of one or two people you know like that and talk about them (don’t feel like you have to name names).

12. Who do you need to carry to Jesus? Give a couple of names specifically.

13. Who is depending on you to do it?

Close in prayer and pick up your trash 5 Minutes




Oasis – Cue Sheet
GameDay – Go Wide – 10.18.06

6:25 Walk-In Video: PowerPoint Pictures with Music

6:30 Welcome, Series Intro and Game (students get name tags if they didn’t check in) – John
GameDay Series Slide Up for Welcome and Intro, then
Johnny’s Game PowerPoint Slide(s) Up for Game
MARK VIDEO
At end, Eagle’s Nest Dismissal Slide Up #1 – Relentless, Engage, WS, EO, SC, 180

6:45 Judy’s Message – Red Eagle’s Nest- Blue
Message Seating Arrangement Slide Up #1
Total Recall Slides Up for Total Recall
GameDay Series Slide Up for Message (before and after video clip)
LINEBACKER VIDEO
TRIP PowerPoint Slide (Judy will call for it)
GOT SERVICE VIDEO
Paul and Brenda picture as soon as I start talking about the wedding
Scripture PowerPoint Sides (Judy will call for it)
FACING THE GIANTS VIDEO
Eagle’s Nest Dismissal Slide Up #2 – Crossfire, RS, TF, Elevate, Testify, HV

7:20 Transition Time
Outgoing students out the Auditorium by Wal-Mart Doors (except Crossfire and Rock Solid go out Café Doors). All incoming students in the Auditorium by Atrium Doors

7:25 Judy’s Message – Blue Eagle’s Nest - Red
Message Seating Arrangement Slide Up #2
Total Recall Slides Up for Total Recall
GameDay Series Slide Up for Message (before and after video clip)
LINEBACKER VIDEO
TRIP PowerPoint Slide (Judy will call for it)
GOT SERVICE VIDEO
Paul and Brenda picture as soon as I start talking about the wedding
Scripture PowerPoint Sides (Judy will call for it)
FACING THE GIANTS VIDEO

7:55 Transition Time – Eagle’s Nest Students In, Announcements and Giveaways

8:05 Wrap-Up with YOU ROCK AWARDS and FEED THE CHILDREN VIDEO – Judy

8:15 Worship
EN FIRST - BLUE (EN SECOND) - RED
Relentless Atrium Skylight (Crossfire)
Engage Atrium Stage (Rock Solid)
Wildside Great Room (The Force)
Eagle One Penguin Room (Elevate)
Soul Candy In Front of the Wal-Mart Doors by New Entrance (Testify)
180 Bottom of Stairs by Wal-Mart Doors by New Entrance (High Voltage)




Oasis – Message
GameDay – Go Wide – 10.18.06

INTRO

Anybody at one of the services this weekend? If you were, you saw the video I’m about to show. If you weren’t, you need to see this.

Much like the middle school guys are doing this weekend, the high school guys had a retreat a couple of weekends ago. There was a young man, Mark, who wanted to go, but has Cerebral Palsy and is in a wheel chair, which makes it difficult to get around where there is no cement. Many of you know Mark, he was at Oasis and went to Grissom last year. For him to go, it meant that someone had to carry him a lot of times – to the bathroom, to his bed, wherever. They had to help feed him and dress him. It took a commitment. It took him being able to count on someone. That someone’s name was Brendan Sweeney. Anyway, they wanted Mark to be able to experience everything, including the ropes course. It took a team to get Mark to the top, he went up first and came down last. Mark was counting on the team 100%. In return, Mark encouraged his team 100%. Check this out.

Mark Nania Video

Where going to talk about what it means to carry someone to Jesus tonight as we break into Eagle's Nests and dive into the message.

DISMISS INTO EAGLE’S NEST – DISMISSAL SLIDE #1 UP

MESSAGE SEATING ARRANGEMENT SLIDE #1 UP

TOTAL RECALL SLIDE UP

Tonight we’re talking about going wide – reaching people for Christ, sharing your faith. Bring as many people into the game as possible. Anybody know the churchy word for it? That’s right, evangelism. In a second I show you a little video that will either make you laugh or pee your pants. Darren Gray is the Evangelism Linebacker. He’s about helping students overcome the obstacles of sharing their faith. Check this out.

Linebacker Video from SermonSpice.com

While I think Jesus enjoys Darren’s passion, I don’t think He wants us to fear that we’ll get the snot kicked out of us if we don’t share our faith. Instead, He wants it to be the desire of our heart out of love for him and love for others. But even in the humor of it all, Darren hit on the basic reasons why we don’t. He talked about what TRIPs us up.

TRIP POWERPOINT SLIDE

TURN DOWN – Fear of Rejection. What if they get mad, or stop liking me or think I’m some sort of freak.
RIDICULOUSLY BUSY – We’re running here, there and everywhere. Our minds are swimming and we lose sight of what’s important.
“I” MODE – Selfish – We horde Christ all for ourselves like new toys at Christmas.
PRIDE – Life is so good and so sweet, we fail to realize or remember why we have what we have, why we got what we got. Instead of giving God the props, we take the credit. We don’t fully recognize our need for Him, so we fail to mention Him.

Bottom line – we lose sight on what’s important when we step up to the line of scrimmage called life. We give up want matters most, for what we want in the moment. We concentrate on the individual (me), instead of the collective (we). Instead of serving others first, we serve ourselves…first. Our vision gets blurry. Kinda like this.

Got Service Video from SermonSpice.com

Earlier you saw the video of Mark, who is physically handicapped, but totally together emotionally, relationally, mentally and spiritually. As you saw in this video, there are others who have it together on the outside, but aren’t doing so good on the inside. They’re hurting. And for some reason, God is calling us to reach out to them. When I was thinking about what to say tonight, my mind drifted back to this weekend when Paul and Brenda were married.

BRENDA AND PAUL PICTURE POWERPOINT SLIDE

Paul:
I got a peak inside of Paul’s soul before the wedding when he told the story of how he met Jesus with tears in his eyes. You see, Jesus set up a divine appointment to meet with him the day he entered GCC doors for the first time. He thought he was just coming to church that day, but left having encountered Jesus through the touch of a child. Jesus knocked and Paul answered. Dr. Bob’s message that day was on how people are bound in chains, being dragged down and you don’t even know it – most of the time we are clueless. Paul thought, that’s me, I’m in chains. At the end of the service, when Dr. Bob went to close in prayer, this little girl who has down syndrome or something like it, reached over and grabbed his hand. He said, she didn’t know better. Evidently, when it came time to pray, this girl's family held hands, she was just doing what she knew. I think somehow God guided Paul or that little girl to that section that day. God knew Paul needed a touch and that He could count on this little girl to give him one.

Brenda:
As far as Brenda is concerned, God allowed her to go on a journey that she will not fully understand this side of heaven. She lost one of her boys when he was 5 and the other when he was 12. It’s been anything but easy. But earlier this year, when she sat next to a young lady in service who was weeping uncontrollable, she knew what to do. When others would pretend like they didn’t notice, Brenda noticed. In fact, she did more than notice. She put her arm around that young lady and prayed for her. She knew, whatever was going on, only Jesus could get her though it. She’s been there and has allowed God to transform her through her experience. I’m not sure she would be the incredibly loving and caring person that she is today had she not.

1 CORINTHIANS 13 POWERPOINT SLIDE UP- Really Listen to What Love Looks Like

Love is patient – It learns how to look past other people’s quirkiness, body odor, dorky
clothes or whatever.
Love is kind – It watches out for the underdog, the one who’s all alone, the last one to be picked, the one who isn’t so kind to them.
It does not envy – There’s no friend-vy, but simply wants the best for people and cheers them
on.
It does not boast – Random acts of kindness are done in secret, not for the applaud of others.
It is not proud, rude or self-seeking. Love’s primary concern is for others and for God to be
glorified.
It is not easily angered. It knows that a lot of times meanness comes from pain inside. They
extend gracy and mercy freely
It keeps no record of wrongs. There is no score card.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. The truth that God loves everyone else
as much as he loves us.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always Love never fails.

1 PETER 3:14-16 POWERPOINT SLIDE UP

But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.
1 Peter 3:14-16

Jesus has your back, do you have His? Reflect on that while you watch this video from Facing the Giants. It’s at movie theatres even now. You’re going to see a scene with the coach and one of his players. However, see with new eyes. Instead of looking at this scene from the perspective of a coach and his player, visualize yourself on the field with Jesus cheering you on.

Facing the Giants Video - Wholehearted - Death Crawl with Jeremy on his back

You can doubt yourself, but don’t doubt what God can do through you. Don’t write people off as a loss. Jesus is asking, promise me your going to do your best. You have influence with people you know not of. You walk around feeling defeated and so will they. He needs you. God’s gifted you, don’t waste it. Can He count on you?

Who do you need to carry to Jesus on your back or in your arms? Let me pray for you.