DOUG FIELDS - SATURDAY NIGHT GENERAL SESSION
I’m not as good at caring as I want to be.
Faith Blockers
Personal insecurities I live with … they come to top, then I don’t see people like I should.
1. Fear. What if I don’t have the right answer?
2. I am too pre-occupied. Everyone adds something to my to-do list. It prevents me from having God-empowered conversations.
3. I feel uncomfortable. It’s draining. Certain skills I don’t possess.
I hide it all because the show must go on.
When Doug asked if anyone else had dealt with any of the three faith blockers, the entire arena stood up.
DOUG’S HUMILITY AND VULNERABILITY ENABLED OTHER PEOPLE TO FACE THEIR OWN REALITY, NOW THAT IS SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT MY FRIENDS. IT GOES BACK TO THE SAYING, WE LEAD THROUGH OUR STRENGTHS BUT WE CONNECT IN OUR WEAKNESSES.
He went on to share in the Bible how Joseph was one of many that went “by faith” when it came to Mary and the baby.
What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen.
Then Doug read from Hebrews where it talks about the Biblical Heroes of old who walked “by faith”
He concluded by having everyone take the sheet of paper under their chair write their name and the area in which they struggled. We wadded the sheets up, pitched them in the air and took the one landing near us. Doug asked us to pray for the guy/girl's paper we got. I picked up a guy named Andrew who deals with fear.
Lord, may you give Andrew the confidence and assurance he needs to realize he has more wisdom than he thinks … and perhaps to even know that we don’t always have to know the right answer, just simply know where to get them. May he hunger and dive into you Word, where true wisdom is found, like never before.
On a side note, the thing I love about Doug Field's is that he practices what he preaches. I saw him later that night at the PDYM late-night session. I just stopped in to get my PDYM fix and see some old friends. From the front, Doug gave me a shout out by name and stopped by my table to say "hi", give me a hug and tell me we needed to catch up because he had hear my world had recently changed.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT
The guy in the hat had the most hilarious embarrassing moment story. He talked about how he had eaten a couple of things that didn't go together and his stomach started going nuts. He ended up in the restroom doing his business, but found that he had to puke, and you know what, at the same time. While sitting on the toilet, he proceeded to vomit in his shorts. He threw his underwear in the trash and had to borrow a pair of his senior pastors shorts.
Do you have a most embarrassing story? Post it in a nutshell and Josh Griffin has given me permission to giveaway a digital download version of Power Play Vol 4 from Simply Youth Ministry to the funniest. Don't be shy, give it a shot.
THE INFAMOUS JEANNE MAYO
NOTES FROM SESSION ONE OF MAKING SMALL GROUPS WORK...
Most groups have identity crisis.
You have to figure out what your ground zero is.
We are not a youth ministry “with” small groups, but “of” small groups.
How does the new kid in your ministry find a niche of relationships?
Discipleship thrives best in the context of relationships. It’s not simply going through a series of books.
John Wooden had a 61 game winning streak…
1964 got their first championship
1948-1963 John worked with UCLA Bruins in relative obscurity.
People would repeatedly come and ask him “what was the magic moment.”
He repeatedly said, “There was no magic moment. I spent 15 seasons doing the
non-glamorous things and just refused to give up."
We need to do the same with small groups … over time, discipleship will happen and numbers will grow.
Small groups are not another small church service, it is…
1. Discussion oriented
2. Interactive
3. Life on life times
Jesus took on flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood. The Message
No matter how powerful the preaching is, people tend to not remember what was said. Most of the time you can’t even remember what you said.
You may want to run a small group with your leader just to show them what you are looking for.
Some of the greatest revenge you can pay on Hell is perseverance.
Discipleship happens best through Frog Kissing. [Jeanne did an awesome skit illustrating the Art of Frog Kissing. All of the characters knocked it out of the part, but by far the Dancing Star had the most skill].
Example, Jesus with Peter. Jesus saw past warts, even changed his name from “little pebble” to “giant bolder.”
If you don’t get the heart behind this, then the pragmatics will not be sustained. I want you to get the heart of this thing. You have to model frog kissing.
Small group helps your youth ministry by shrinking the holes in your attendance net. If we can get them in connected, the chance of losing them goes way down.
Small groups create a culture of friendship while most of the church world just talks about it.
Jeanne told the story of the Buddhist exchange student who would go to church with her host family. One Sunday after a pastor’s message, she gave her life to Christ. The pastor asked afterwards, “What did I say that helped you make this life-altering decision.” She said, “It was nothing you said, but all these months, Barb, my adopted foreign exchange sister has been building a bridge from her heart to mine and today I just let Jesus walk over it.
Remember walking into a room where you don’t know anyone is awkward. It was awkward today as you walked in. I know it’s awkward. We need to love well. Remember, “Actions of love will always create feelings of love.”
1. Choose to be an authentic encourager. Give away to people what you wish you had yourself.
2. Cash in on moments of pain. God whispers in good time, and shouts in pain.
3. Talk less and listen more.
4. Prepare to be hurt and taken for granted, Jesus was. Discipleship is the closest thing to a “love-hate” relationship.
Most groups have identity crisis.
You have to figure out what your ground zero is.
We are not a youth ministry “with” small groups, but “of” small groups.
How does the new kid in your ministry find a niche of relationships?
Discipleship thrives best in the context of relationships. It’s not simply going through a series of books.
John Wooden had a 61 game winning streak…
1964 got their first championship
1948-1963 John worked with UCLA Bruins in relative obscurity.
People would repeatedly come and ask him “what was the magic moment.”
He repeatedly said, “There was no magic moment. I spent 15 seasons doing the
non-glamorous things and just refused to give up."
We need to do the same with small groups … over time, discipleship will happen and numbers will grow.
Small groups are not another small church service, it is…
1. Discussion oriented
2. Interactive
3. Life on life times
Jesus took on flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood. The Message
No matter how powerful the preaching is, people tend to not remember what was said. Most of the time you can’t even remember what you said.
You may want to run a small group with your leader just to show them what you are looking for.
Some of the greatest revenge you can pay on Hell is perseverance.
Discipleship happens best through Frog Kissing. [Jeanne did an awesome skit illustrating the Art of Frog Kissing. All of the characters knocked it out of the part, but by far the Dancing Star had the most skill].
Example, Jesus with Peter. Jesus saw past warts, even changed his name from “little pebble” to “giant bolder.”
If you don’t get the heart behind this, then the pragmatics will not be sustained. I want you to get the heart of this thing. You have to model frog kissing.
Small group helps your youth ministry by shrinking the holes in your attendance net. If we can get them in connected, the chance of losing them goes way down.
Small groups create a culture of friendship while most of the church world just talks about it.
Jeanne told the story of the Buddhist exchange student who would go to church with her host family. One Sunday after a pastor’s message, she gave her life to Christ. The pastor asked afterwards, “What did I say that helped you make this life-altering decision.” She said, “It was nothing you said, but all these months, Barb, my adopted foreign exchange sister has been building a bridge from her heart to mine and today I just let Jesus walk over it.
Remember walking into a room where you don’t know anyone is awkward. It was awkward today as you walked in. I know it’s awkward. We need to love well. Remember, “Actions of love will always create feelings of love.”
1. Choose to be an authentic encourager. Give away to people what you wish you had yourself.
2. Cash in on moments of pain. God whispers in good time, and shouts in pain.
3. Talk less and listen more.
4. Prepare to be hurt and taken for granted, Jesus was. Discipleship is the closest thing to a “love-hate” relationship.
SMALL GROUPS THAT REALLY WORK
It was a P-A-R-T-Y. I have the privilege of being in my boss' and great friend's session on "Small Groups that Really Work. We began with a quick scavenger hunt, above are some pics.
TONY DUNGY – FRIDAY NIGHT PLAY BY PLAY
It was a crazy day, we finished reproducing our last piece of product at 4 a.m. Friday morning, loaded it and jumped in the car to head to Cinncinnati. We arrived at 11:30 a.m. and the it was "game on" ... for everyone else ... I went and took a nap. Woke up in time for the evening General Session. It was amazing, especially looking though new Youth Leader's Coach eyes.
Pre-Tony
Started out with a hilarious video with Josh, Matt and, an upcoming star, “couch." It was really funny, you can see it on Josh's blog (just click the link on the side)
Doug came on talking about the goals of the conference, Group's desire is that the youth pastors/leaders know that…
1. You are not alone
2. God is using you
3. You can get practical help
Thom and Joani were introduced with a fun video. The audience voted with cool clickers on whether they wanted them to…
1. Answer an awkward question
2. Share a heartfelt welcome
3. Kiss Passionately
It was close, but “answer an awkward question” won out over “kiss passionately.”
Worship was kickin’ with a little ancient-future modern day remix of a couple of old hymns.
Tony Dungy Intro
Doug had Andrew intro Tony Dungy by telling the heartfelt story of how Tony personally stopped by his house to talk to his friend with cancer. [It was a great way to intro a speaker, much better than the rant of accomplishments you normally hear.]
Tony Dungy
After reading Josh-Judges, I get a little nervous. In chapter 24 we have Joshua saying, “as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” But by Judges 2, after Joshua and the elders died, the next generation didn’t serve the Lord.
How did that happen? God’s Word didn’t get passed along to the next generation. It’s meant to be passed on through the family.
God’s design for passing on His Word is breaking down. Some of it we can’t help because of…
1. Children being born outside of marriage.
2. Divorce at staggering rate.
But some of it we can help.
Tony went on to tell us during the Football Combine (currently happening in Indianapolis, how do I know this … because I just spent $139 day to get the cheapest rental car I could on Tuesday night), when they are scouting new players they get the opportunity to interview each player for 15 minutes. 4 out of 5 interviewed didn’t grow up in a two parent home. When Tony asked, if you didn’t have a dad who helped you … it’s always a junior high, high school or college coach. They were the first person to care, show love.
His question is, “who reaches the non-athlete, who is helping them grow spiritually?”
***
Parents words are more impacting when reinforced by another individual. Tony talked about how he kept trying to get his son to get up more than 10 minutes before he had to leave in order to eat breakfast, instead of a Pop Tart on the go. He couldn’t get him to do it … that is until his coach asked him … at that point, everything changed.
***
Chuck Knoll told Tony his job was to “make our players better.”
Some players improved immediately while others improved over time. He talked about one of the Baltimore quarterbacks. Later saw him in passing one day and he said to Tony, “If you hadn’t been so hard on me I wouldn’t be married and have these kids today.” Tony said, “him saying that to me was better than any Super Bowl.”
Coach Knoll's advice to Tony, same advice to us...
1. Learn your craft. You’ve been a player, now you need to learn to be a coach.
2. Make it personal. Be yourself. Those natural things God put in you need to come out now. Take an interest in the young men. Every player is a little different. Your job is to help ALL of them. Bad teachers can help an “A” student get an “A”. A great teacher can make everyone an “A” student.
3. January in football can be a down, kind of depressing time. There is usually only a day or two off between July and January.
a. Need to rely on Christ. It’s not me, but God working through me. Proverbs 21:31, we prepare for battle, but the victory is the Lords.
b. Focus on the Lord (Joshua 1:8).
c. Trust the Lord with setbacks. They tend to bring you closer to the Lord, increase faith. It allows me to encourage people during similar times. I can’t do that if I am winning all the time. Tony’s got more letters of how his story helped after he got fired from Tampa than from the Super Bowl. Paul, “pressing forward…” Never know when the next person crossing your path, you’ll get the opportunity to help change eternity.
I think they did the slap video after Dungy. It was hilarious.
Worship
Recognized volunteer John Allen at Saddleback.
Pre-Tony
Started out with a hilarious video with Josh, Matt and, an upcoming star, “couch." It was really funny, you can see it on Josh's blog (just click the link on the side)
Doug came on talking about the goals of the conference, Group's desire is that the youth pastors/leaders know that…
1. You are not alone
2. God is using you
3. You can get practical help
Thom and Joani were introduced with a fun video. The audience voted with cool clickers on whether they wanted them to…
1. Answer an awkward question
2. Share a heartfelt welcome
3. Kiss Passionately
It was close, but “answer an awkward question” won out over “kiss passionately.”
Worship was kickin’ with a little ancient-future modern day remix of a couple of old hymns.
Tony Dungy Intro
Doug had Andrew intro Tony Dungy by telling the heartfelt story of how Tony personally stopped by his house to talk to his friend with cancer. [It was a great way to intro a speaker, much better than the rant of accomplishments you normally hear.]
Tony Dungy
After reading Josh-Judges, I get a little nervous. In chapter 24 we have Joshua saying, “as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” But by Judges 2, after Joshua and the elders died, the next generation didn’t serve the Lord.
How did that happen? God’s Word didn’t get passed along to the next generation. It’s meant to be passed on through the family.
God’s design for passing on His Word is breaking down. Some of it we can’t help because of…
1. Children being born outside of marriage.
2. Divorce at staggering rate.
But some of it we can help.
Tony went on to tell us during the Football Combine (currently happening in Indianapolis, how do I know this … because I just spent $139 day to get the cheapest rental car I could on Tuesday night), when they are scouting new players they get the opportunity to interview each player for 15 minutes. 4 out of 5 interviewed didn’t grow up in a two parent home. When Tony asked, if you didn’t have a dad who helped you … it’s always a junior high, high school or college coach. They were the first person to care, show love.
His question is, “who reaches the non-athlete, who is helping them grow spiritually?”
***
Parents words are more impacting when reinforced by another individual. Tony talked about how he kept trying to get his son to get up more than 10 minutes before he had to leave in order to eat breakfast, instead of a Pop Tart on the go. He couldn’t get him to do it … that is until his coach asked him … at that point, everything changed.
***
Chuck Knoll told Tony his job was to “make our players better.”
Some players improved immediately while others improved over time. He talked about one of the Baltimore quarterbacks. Later saw him in passing one day and he said to Tony, “If you hadn’t been so hard on me I wouldn’t be married and have these kids today.” Tony said, “him saying that to me was better than any Super Bowl.”
Coach Knoll's advice to Tony, same advice to us...
1. Learn your craft. You’ve been a player, now you need to learn to be a coach.
2. Make it personal. Be yourself. Those natural things God put in you need to come out now. Take an interest in the young men. Every player is a little different. Your job is to help ALL of them. Bad teachers can help an “A” student get an “A”. A great teacher can make everyone an “A” student.
3. January in football can be a down, kind of depressing time. There is usually only a day or two off between July and January.
a. Need to rely on Christ. It’s not me, but God working through me. Proverbs 21:31, we prepare for battle, but the victory is the Lords.
b. Focus on the Lord (Joshua 1:8).
c. Trust the Lord with setbacks. They tend to bring you closer to the Lord, increase faith. It allows me to encourage people during similar times. I can’t do that if I am winning all the time. Tony’s got more letters of how his story helped after he got fired from Tampa than from the Super Bowl. Paul, “pressing forward…” Never know when the next person crossing your path, you’ll get the opportunity to help change eternity.
I think they did the slap video after Dungy. It was hilarious.
Worship
Recognized volunteer John Allen at Saddleback.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
This Totally Bites!
I played a lot of sports when I was a kid and was hit more than once in the mouth with a basketball, softball, football, elbow ... and the list goes on. A couple of years ago the dentist told me I must of gotten hit one too many times becasue my front tooth is "pulpless" (ie dead) and that was why it was becoming discolored.
After livng with it forever, I decided to do something about it before I moved to Atlanta a few months back. The dentist grinded it to a numb and put a veneer (or whatever you call it) on it. Well, like 1,500 bucks later, I noticed it had a flaw. I was going to "just live with it" but decided $1,500 was too much money to spend to "just live with it." So, a couple of weeks ago when I was home they "sawed" (yes, that's the word the assistant used) it off and put a temporary back on ... of course not before they took impressions ... twice!
The parting words I received were, "don't bite into anything ... especially a sandwich." Well, I wasn't thinking on Friday and bit into a french fry ... needless to say off comes the temporary while in Cheesecake Bisto in Atlantic Station. She had told me if it came off, just to buy some detal glue at the drugstore and put it back on. Well, three attempts with three different types of dental glue and it's a "no go." So, instead of hitting the dentist next Monday after the Group Conference, I am flying home tomorrow night, getting my new tooth on Wednesday and flying back out early Thursday morning ... all because of a tooth.
You don't realize how much you need and like your teeth till there is a gapping hole in your mouth or you try to do a balancing act to keep it on with pathetic glue. It's been a trip. This morning I woke up with my fake tooth in bed with me and not in my mouth. Oh well, I guess it's better than in my stomach. I know that was all too much information ... but hey, right now it's all I can think of! I want my tooth!
After livng with it forever, I decided to do something about it before I moved to Atlanta a few months back. The dentist grinded it to a numb and put a veneer (or whatever you call it) on it. Well, like 1,500 bucks later, I noticed it had a flaw. I was going to "just live with it" but decided $1,500 was too much money to spend to "just live with it." So, a couple of weeks ago when I was home they "sawed" (yes, that's the word the assistant used) it off and put a temporary back on ... of course not before they took impressions ... twice!
The parting words I received were, "don't bite into anything ... especially a sandwich." Well, I wasn't thinking on Friday and bit into a french fry ... needless to say off comes the temporary while in Cheesecake Bisto in Atlantic Station. She had told me if it came off, just to buy some detal glue at the drugstore and put it back on. Well, three attempts with three different types of dental glue and it's a "no go." So, instead of hitting the dentist next Monday after the Group Conference, I am flying home tomorrow night, getting my new tooth on Wednesday and flying back out early Thursday morning ... all because of a tooth.
You don't realize how much you need and like your teeth till there is a gapping hole in your mouth or you try to do a balancing act to keep it on with pathetic glue. It's been a trip. This morning I woke up with my fake tooth in bed with me and not in my mouth. Oh well, I guess it's better than in my stomach. I know that was all too much information ... but hey, right now it's all I can think of! I want my tooth!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Budget Cuts
Today I had to work on my side job that I do to help out our church ... the dreaded budget. Becasue of the economy, we've had to trim it back a little. It was a hard day, but there were a few moments of uncontrollable laughter with Jeanne and Jordan. I wish I could tell you the inside jokes we now have regarding dental insurance and three squares ... but I can't.
Afterwards, the McFarlands, Mike, Scott and I went to Cheesecake Bistro in Atlantic Station, then to see Jumpers (a "just ok" movie worthy of only the dollar theatre vs. the $10 paid in the ATL).
In a few days, I will be off to the Group Conference in Cinncinnati, Ohio. Looking forward to reconnecting with some friends.
Gotta go, have a gazillion things to do between now and then ... literally, a gazillion. However, I'm going to start tomorrow off by hiking Stone Mountain with the McFarlands. It's supposed to be bumping 70 degrees in Atlanta.
Afterwards, the McFarlands, Mike, Scott and I went to Cheesecake Bistro in Atlantic Station, then to see Jumpers (a "just ok" movie worthy of only the dollar theatre vs. the $10 paid in the ATL).
In a few days, I will be off to the Group Conference in Cinncinnati, Ohio. Looking forward to reconnecting with some friends.
Gotta go, have a gazillion things to do between now and then ... literally, a gazillion. However, I'm going to start tomorrow off by hiking Stone Mountain with the McFarlands. It's supposed to be bumping 70 degrees in Atlanta.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wow that was a lot of talking
With Jeanne being gone, I handled the conference calls today with Cadre Litmus and Prestige. We talked middle school ministry and I had a blast. Litmus started off a little quiet (probably sensed I was nervous given the shoes I was trying to fill) but didn't take much time to get rolling. Prestige, well, they are a rowdy bunch and were fun right out of the gate ... not to mention I got over the nervousness about a 1/2 hour into the earlier call.
I absolutely love the Cadre. What fun and encouraging guys and girls in the ministry. After the calls today, I was wiped out and had to pause and take the boys out to chinese. It felt like the equivalent of teaching (talking) non-stop four hours, stopping only for 1/2 hour break in between. I can't imagine how Mark, Rob and the gang do it week in and week out at the Granger services.
Bet jet, off to work on finances.
I absolutely love the Cadre. What fun and encouraging guys and girls in the ministry. After the calls today, I was wiped out and had to pause and take the boys out to chinese. It felt like the equivalent of teaching (talking) non-stop four hours, stopping only for 1/2 hour break in between. I can't imagine how Mark, Rob and the gang do it week in and week out at the Granger services.
Bet jet, off to work on finances.
Joel and Amy Stockstill
Yesterday afternoon Jeanne jetted off to be with Joel Stockstill of the Bethany World Prayer Center. Joel's young wife (I think she was 25 or 26), Amy, lost her battle with cancer. The funeral was today. Pray for their family.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
A Great Couple of Days
I've been silent on the blog due to spending the last couple of days at the First Year Ladies Cadre Breakaway. It was two intense and incredible days with the wives and female youth pastors of the Litmus and Prestige Cadres. I was worried about the size ... 54 women and 9 Journey Group leaders all in Jeanne's living room. But all was great ... in fact it felt less crowded than when we had 35 Cadre men and women and 7 iron group leaders in one room. I guess you can attribute it to women being smaller.
Jeanne knocked it out of the park talking about being a female leader, mind games, balancing life/family/ministry and answering the "Dear Jeanne" annoymous questions. I wish all could have heard the wisdom that poured out of her after living nearly four decades in the trench. The women were equipped, encouraged and inspired to take the next hill.
Navigating the couple of days was definitely a ride on our end. The Master's Commission Atlanta gang knocked it out of the park getting the 54 women to where they were supposed to be when they were supposed to be there (airport pick ups/drop offs, morning and evening pick ups/drop offs, field trip transpo, etc.), preparing and serving dinner, creating a "field trip" experience that rocked, taking care of the five babies, encouraging and cheering on the ladies, making sure lights, sound and video were up and running and the list goes on...
The only sad thing is after I made sure the last one, Rachel (a great friend from Indiana, now in Arizona), made it to the airport, about two hours later my body said enough is enough. I suddenly felt exhausted and came down with a fever and a ridiculous soar throat (which is understandable considering how the MC gang is passing around the flu). So, instead of going to Oxygen tonight, I went home to bed. In over a decade of ministry, I never skipped youth group when I was in town. It's now 4 a.m. and I am bright eyed and bushy tailed with a throat that is raw. Pray for me ... I still need to kick it high gear today and tomorrow (in fact I'm at work now). I have more things to accomplish in two days than is remotely possible, including talking three hours on two conference calls today about junior high, writing two articles and working some serious financials.
The great news is this weekend the McFarlands are down in the ATL. I'm looking foward to hanging out with some of the most AMAZING people in the world whom I love dearly.
Jeanne knocked it out of the park talking about being a female leader, mind games, balancing life/family/ministry and answering the "Dear Jeanne" annoymous questions. I wish all could have heard the wisdom that poured out of her after living nearly four decades in the trench. The women were equipped, encouraged and inspired to take the next hill.
Navigating the couple of days was definitely a ride on our end. The Master's Commission Atlanta gang knocked it out of the park getting the 54 women to where they were supposed to be when they were supposed to be there (airport pick ups/drop offs, morning and evening pick ups/drop offs, field trip transpo, etc.), preparing and serving dinner, creating a "field trip" experience that rocked, taking care of the five babies, encouraging and cheering on the ladies, making sure lights, sound and video were up and running and the list goes on...
The only sad thing is after I made sure the last one, Rachel (a great friend from Indiana, now in Arizona), made it to the airport, about two hours later my body said enough is enough. I suddenly felt exhausted and came down with a fever and a ridiculous soar throat (which is understandable considering how the MC gang is passing around the flu). So, instead of going to Oxygen tonight, I went home to bed. In over a decade of ministry, I never skipped youth group when I was in town. It's now 4 a.m. and I am bright eyed and bushy tailed with a throat that is raw. Pray for me ... I still need to kick it high gear today and tomorrow (in fact I'm at work now). I have more things to accomplish in two days than is remotely possible, including talking three hours on two conference calls today about junior high, writing two articles and working some serious financials.
The great news is this weekend the McFarlands are down in the ATL. I'm looking foward to hanging out with some of the most AMAZING people in the world whom I love dearly.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
The Irresistbile Revolution
So I am on to February books ... The Irresistible Revolution (one that Rob recommended to me) and Made to Stick (which I skimmed once, but am now going to read cover to cover).
Irresistible Revolution is rockin' my world. I'm not a big reader. I don't like to read. I'm slow at it becasue I try to digest every word, and, at times, for me it's the equivalent of telling an ADHD child to sit in the corner and be still. They're not good at it and neither am I. HOWEVER, I read because I love to learn. My love for learning trumps my hate for reading ... so I read. Very seldom have I found a book "I just can't put down." Irresistible Revolution is becoming one of those few books that fit into that category. Here are the random (and I do mean random) things I highlighted from the first 35 pages.
"I am alone, surrounded by unbelieving activists and inactive believers. Where are the true Christians?" A "silent majority" is developing as a growing number of folks are deliberately distancing themselves from the noise and arrogance that have come to mark both evangelical Christianity and secular activism.
In college, one of my professors said, "Don't let the world steal your soul. Being a Christian is about choosing Jesus and deciding to do something incredibly daring with your life."
"How about that, you're a preacher ... I'd go to a church that would let you preach!" I thought to myself, wouldn't we all go to a church that believes in ordinary fools and ragamuffins and whose gospel is actually good news?
And in an era of smart bombs, maybe the world needs more fools. There have always been "fools" in the imperial courts, but it's an interesting age when folks trust the court jesters more than the court itself.
I don't really fit into the old liberal conservative boxes, so it's a good thing we are moving on to something new. My activist friends call me conservative, and my religious friends call me liberal. What I often get branded is "radical." I've never really minded that, for as my urban-farming friends remind me, the word radical itself means "root." It's from the Latin word radix, which just like a rad-ish, has to do with getting to the root of things. But radical is not something reserved for saints and martyrs, which is why I like to complement it with ordinary. Ordinary does not mean normal, and I lament the dreadful seduction which has resulted in Christians become so normal.
So I am a radical in the truest sense of the word: an ordinary radical who wants to get at the root of what it means to love, ...
People are no longer convicned that the "Moral Majority" is either moral or the majority.
And yet attendtinve ears can hear the ancient whisper reminding us that another world is possible.
Today we can hear the whisper where we least expect it: in a baby refugee and in a homeless rabbi, in crack addicts and displaced children, in a groaning creation. Indian activist and author Arundhati Roy proclaimed at the World Social Forum in Brazil, "Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." The whisper cries out for God to save the church from us Christians and breathe new life int the aging Body.
New prophets are rising up who try to change the future, not just predict it.
... a generation that stops complaining about the church it sees and becomes the church it dreams of.
Our problem is that we no longer have martyrs. We only have celebritiies.
There's a lot of shouting and sweating, but the people seem too superhuman, and I'm not convinced all the moves are real. And as with any sports event, there are tons of spectators, desperately in need of exercise, who sit back and watch a handful of people who could really use a little break, and maybe a nice massage.
Woe to you when everyone speaks well of you, for that is how their ancestors treated the false prophets. Luke 6:26
It's hard to disagree with a story, much less split a church or kill people over one.
Besides, people seem to loosen up after a good story. I think that's why Jesus told so many stories -- stories about ordinary first-century Mediterranean life, stories of widows and orphans, debts and wages, workers and landlords, courts and banquets.
The point is not to give you all of the answers but to stir up some of the questions. Some of us haven't even asked the right questions, or found a church that would let us. I trust that as we ask questions together, the Spirit will guide us along the Way.
There are a lot of people speaking the truth with no love, and there are a lot of people talking about love without much truth.
And there are enough white men writing books. Most good things have been said far too many times and just need to be lived.
Publishing a book validates what you have to say, and that's something we should all be careful of.
When people hear you wrote a book, they listen to what you have to say.
And there are tons of good people with something to say who will never write a book. (How about Jesus, for starters?)
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Words of Wisdom from Dove?
Ok, so I bought this bag of little Dove bite sized chocolate squares. You know ... the ones that are like fortune cookies ... you unwrap it, pop it in your mouth and read the words of wisdom on the wrapper. So, I was handing them out for fun, and ate the last two. Here were the words of wisdom that I think are so applicable to student minstry it is not even funny.
1. Celebrate family and friends. It reminded me of the importance of being authentic cheerleaders in the lives of the people, especially your leaders, around you. I will always remember Mark saying, "a smattering applause is a stench in the nostrils of God." I don't want to be the obnoxious one who has to get the last clap in, but I secretly desire to always be one of the loudest and longest clappers when someone is being celebrated.
2. A gentle touch speaks volumes. I love it. I'm not much of a touchy, feely, emotional kind of person. While I much better in this department than say a decade a go, you wouldn't rank me high in this category ... maybe a 6 out of 10 on comfort level. However, the thing that speaks volumes in my life, way more than a hug, is a gentle hand on my back at the appropriate time. The hand that says I believe in you, I see what you did, you matter to me, I'm so proud of you, you're more than employee/volunteer...you're a friend, etc.
Small Group Activity. A rabbit trail ... as I write this, I think of all the times I struggled for opening activities to small group discussions during our annual love/dating series we had in February. This activity, at least in my mind, is a great one to get people talking ... buy a bag of the Dove cand
ies for each small group, have them each open one or two, read their wrappers out loud, then talk about the truth, if any, that can be found in the quotes (kind of like I did above). I always wanted to do activities with those coversational boxes of hearts, but couldn't because often times the words were a little on the raunchy side. I think Dove keeps it clean.
1. Celebrate family and friends. It reminded me of the importance of being authentic cheerleaders in the lives of the people, especially your leaders, around you. I will always remember Mark saying, "a smattering applause is a stench in the nostrils of God." I don't want to be the obnoxious one who has to get the last clap in, but I secretly desire to always be one of the loudest and longest clappers when someone is being celebrated.
2. A gentle touch speaks volumes. I love it. I'm not much of a touchy, feely, emotional kind of person. While I much better in this department than say a decade a go, you wouldn't rank me high in this category ... maybe a 6 out of 10 on comfort level. However, the thing that speaks volumes in my life, way more than a hug, is a gentle hand on my back at the appropriate time. The hand that says I believe in you, I see what you did, you matter to me, I'm so proud of you, you're more than employee/volunteer...you're a friend, etc.
Small Group Activity. A rabbit trail ... as I write this, I think of all the times I struggled for opening activities to small group discussions during our annual love/dating series we had in February. This activity, at least in my mind, is a great one to get people talking ... buy a bag of the Dove cand
ies for each small group, have them each open one or two, read their wrappers out loud, then talk about the truth, if any, that can be found in the quotes (kind of like I did above). I always wanted to do activities with those coversational boxes of hearts, but couldn't because often times the words were a little on the raunchy side. I think Dove keeps it clean.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Most Hilarious Speaker Intro Video EVER!
Ok, so I don't know how to upload YouTube videos, but here is a hilarious video intro they did for Jeanne at the conference she was at in California last weekend. They said it took four days to shoot and edit.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
MC Atlanta 2008-2009
Tomorrow is a big, big day at the Tabernacle. Nearly 100 potential students from across the nation will converge onto the campus to check out Master's Commission Altanta for next year. Our 95 current students and staff have been working hard to prepare for this two day event. Right now as I type, Sterling has 30 videos rendering in the que (whatever that means). All who apply will not make it. Between first, second and third year students, Jeanne's pretty committed to not letting it explode or implode. While not set in stone, over the next few years she thinks she will cap out at 150 per year. She's pretty bent on not letting anyone fall through the cracks. However, with the systems she has in place, I'm pretty confident that could never happen.
After living MC ATL for seven months, I stand in awe of what is offered here. Seriously, it's ministry training at its finest, but first and foremost the staff is dedicated to character development. I think that is what sets it apart from most training programs I've seen. They don't want their charisma to take them to a place their character can't keep them.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
What I do on the side
When you are apart of a smaller (1,000 compared to 5,000) and less affluent church (let's just say inner city Atlanta is no Granger, Indiana), each person wears a few more hats. So, in addition to doing junior high and Youth Leader's Coach (Cadre, developing product, website, editing resources, conferences, etc.), I oversee the technical arts and accounting departments. It's not hard, I just lend some of my management and leadership skills that way. However, I realized this week I wish I had a few more hours in the day. I kind of still like the accounting stuff.
I developed the budget and presented it to the board Thursday night, in addition to giving them some thoughts on how to cut 5% off expenditures (probably not a big deal up north, but a big, big deal down here). With the exception of Jeanne, all businessmen ... mostly in suits. I think a few of them might of been pleasantly surprised at what I picked up here and there back home, along with my years in auditing. I got a round of applause when I was done. That was awkward and cool at the same time. They were a great group of guys with a huge heart for the local church. Loved it!
I developed the budget and presented it to the board Thursday night, in addition to giving them some thoughts on how to cut 5% off expenditures (probably not a big deal up north, but a big, big deal down here). With the exception of Jeanne, all businessmen ... mostly in suits. I think a few of them might of been pleasantly surprised at what I picked up here and there back home, along with my years in auditing. I got a round of applause when I was done. That was awkward and cool at the same time. They were a great group of guys with a huge heart for the local church. Loved it!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Marriage
Just came off the Cadre Epic's Ladies Breakaway. In addition to doing two two-day Cadre Advances for youth pastors in the mentoring program each year, Jeanne does an additional two-day Cadre Breakaway for their wives (if the Cadre member is a male) and the female Cadre members.
It was a ton of fun, especially when we had a problem with the upstairs bathroom and water came down through the light fixtures into the kitchen ... it wasn't pretty water either if you know what I mean. But, the plumber came and all was good within an hour or two while we continued on. In the meantime, the Master's Commission students who were serving didn't skip a beat. They shut off the lights in the kitchen, moved the food and lit some candles. They are learning how to dance in the rain of adversity when difficulties come their way. It was quite the snapshot.
My main takeaway is that people need help navigating this thing called MARRIAGE. As a single person, most would think I would have been bored to tears during the Q & A where most of the questions centered around marriage. However, I wasn't bored, just PROUD. Proud that while throwing another two-day breakaway into the mix is quite the challenge, the benefits are HUGE. I am pretty convinced that she saved some marriages last night, at a minimum gave others a shot in the arm. She spoke candid, straight up truth on tough, tough questions (some would make you blush). The reality is marriages within the walls of the church are struggling everywhere. And since, in many respects, things flow from the top down ... if we can equip youth pastors and their wives on how to navigate the waters of marriage, then maybe it will ripple on downward.
It was a great couple of days. Master Commission Atlanta Experience (for 18-22 years interested in the MC ATL) is next week and Cadre Litmus and Prestige Ladies Breakaway the week after that ... with a weekend home in between, more great days ahead.
It was a ton of fun, especially when we had a problem with the upstairs bathroom and water came down through the light fixtures into the kitchen ... it wasn't pretty water either if you know what I mean. But, the plumber came and all was good within an hour or two while we continued on. In the meantime, the Master's Commission students who were serving didn't skip a beat. They shut off the lights in the kitchen, moved the food and lit some candles. They are learning how to dance in the rain of adversity when difficulties come their way. It was quite the snapshot.
My main takeaway is that people need help navigating this thing called MARRIAGE. As a single person, most would think I would have been bored to tears during the Q & A where most of the questions centered around marriage. However, I wasn't bored, just PROUD. Proud that while throwing another two-day breakaway into the mix is quite the challenge, the benefits are HUGE. I am pretty convinced that she saved some marriages last night, at a minimum gave others a shot in the arm. She spoke candid, straight up truth on tough, tough questions (some would make you blush). The reality is marriages within the walls of the church are struggling everywhere. And since, in many respects, things flow from the top down ... if we can equip youth pastors and their wives on how to navigate the waters of marriage, then maybe it will ripple on downward.
It was a great couple of days. Master Commission Atlanta Experience (for 18-22 years interested in the MC ATL) is next week and Cadre Litmus and Prestige Ladies Breakaway the week after that ... with a weekend home in between, more great days ahead.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Great Quotes from One Night with the King
1. Scene: Esther being given necklace…
“Like you, its true treasure etched within.”
2. Scene: Vault where jewelry is stored and ladies get to pick.
“How is one to choose when they know not what impresses the king. Will you teach me?”
3. Scene: After she reads to him and tells the story of Jacob, he shows her the sculpture he is working on.
He says, “His arms will hold the bow, his arrows tipped with love.”
She says, “Some archer’s arrows are tipped with poison my lord.”
He says, “Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference, the symptoms are the same.”
4. Scene: Jesse wants her to leave, she refuses.
“Perhaps instead of asking questions of our trials, trials are meant to ask questions of ourselves.”
5. Scene: Esther’s time before the king.
“I was taught that when you visit a king rather than expect a gift, one should bring one to lay at his feet. (Gives necklace) This is my most valuable possession in the world. It is my past, present and future … and all of it is yours.”
“If it is for sale, it is not love.”
“The only gift I will accept is your heart.”
6. Scene: Talking to Jesse and Hagar at night in her bedroom, right before she goes to the king.
“Who knows whether you have come to the palace for such a time as this.”
“David’s victory came not because he fought well but because he believed well.”
7. Scene: Last one at the banquet.
(Regarding necklace) Very identity etched within me.
I saw the stars.
“Like you, its true treasure etched within.”
2. Scene: Vault where jewelry is stored and ladies get to pick.
“How is one to choose when they know not what impresses the king. Will you teach me?”
3. Scene: After she reads to him and tells the story of Jacob, he shows her the sculpture he is working on.
He says, “His arms will hold the bow, his arrows tipped with love.”
She says, “Some archer’s arrows are tipped with poison my lord.”
He says, “Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference, the symptoms are the same.”
4. Scene: Jesse wants her to leave, she refuses.
“Perhaps instead of asking questions of our trials, trials are meant to ask questions of ourselves.”
5. Scene: Esther’s time before the king.
“I was taught that when you visit a king rather than expect a gift, one should bring one to lay at his feet. (Gives necklace) This is my most valuable possession in the world. It is my past, present and future … and all of it is yours.”
“If it is for sale, it is not love.”
“The only gift I will accept is your heart.”
6. Scene: Talking to Jesse and Hagar at night in her bedroom, right before she goes to the king.
“Who knows whether you have come to the palace for such a time as this.”
“David’s victory came not because he fought well but because he believed well.”
7. Scene: Last one at the banquet.
(Regarding necklace) Very identity etched within me.
I saw the stars.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
I stopped counting at 600
It's 11:09 p.m., there is little snow on the ground. It's 31 degrees outside. My heart is heavy.
Over 600 churches have cancelled their services tomorrow, some big dawgs like North Point and Perimeter. It's actually a lot more, I just stopped counting at 600 ... but, hey Wal-Mart's still open. There's a sermon in there somewhere. I wonder what the heroes of the faith think about that. (I know, I know ... Atlanta doesn't have salt trucks ... blah, blah, blah)
Over 600 churches have cancelled their services tomorrow, some big dawgs like North Point and Perimeter. It's actually a lot more, I just stopped counting at 600 ... but, hey Wal-Mart's still open. There's a sermon in there somewhere. I wonder what the heroes of the faith think about that. (I know, I know ... Atlanta doesn't have salt trucks ... blah, blah, blah)
More Weather
I know posts about weather get old, but I am totally getting a kick out of this. We are under a "Heavy Snow Warning." A warning mind you, not a watch. All the fuss ... there is a potential for 2-4 inches (whcih I do know why it's a big deal with not much in the way of snow removal equipment). Seriuosly, I wonder if there is a run on shovels, snow brushes, milk and bread. I better go bundle up, after all it's 37 degrees.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Winter Storm Watch
I think the city is expecting to shut down tomorrow, the meterologist is standing by...
"Metro Atlanta and the surrounding areas are preparing for another round of wintry weather tomorrow which could include snowfall from 1-4 inches. 11Alive News WeatherPlus and 11Alive.com are ready to keep you informed of all the details before they occur with special weathercasts...
The good news is that a couple of days at home sound fun (seriously, that's what happens here ... it snowed a 1/2 an inch on Wednesday and the schools shut down and the freeways were less jammed). If we get 4 inches, it will be total mayhem. The bad news is that we have Cadre coming in tomorrow night and all day Sunday ... ugh! So, while the days home sound fun, I'm praying for no snow. Meanwhile, Laurie is going to try and find Jeanne an earlier flight in.
"Metro Atlanta and the surrounding areas are preparing for another round of wintry weather tomorrow which could include snowfall from 1-4 inches. 11Alive News WeatherPlus and 11Alive.com are ready to keep you informed of all the details before they occur with special weathercasts...
The good news is that a couple of days at home sound fun (seriously, that's what happens here ... it snowed a 1/2 an inch on Wednesday and the schools shut down and the freeways were less jammed). If we get 4 inches, it will be total mayhem. The bad news is that we have Cadre coming in tomorrow night and all day Sunday ... ugh! So, while the days home sound fun, I'm praying for no snow. Meanwhile, Laurie is going to try and find Jeanne an earlier flight in.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Weird Sad Stories in the ATL
The wintry mix tonight, along with the cop killer on the loose, cut our numbers in half but it was not without the bizarre story. In our 02 Group, we had two new kids ... Moses from Nigeria and Nilton from Saudia Arabia. The boys are in the states for major surgery on their esophagus. Both of them, for unknown reasons, drank acid. One of them has had 26 surgeries in the last six months. So, the doctors are going to take part of their colon and graph it into their esophogas ... weird ... sad. Both are really cool kids, one is being adopted by the couple hosting them in the church.
Ohhhhhhh So Funny
Ok, I admit ... now the flakes are coming. Evidently, it's worthy of recording. Here are the closings in Atlanta right now because of the dusting of snow.
UPDATED WEDNESDAY, JAN 16 AT 6:40 PM
1st Baptist Ch of Atlanta: No evening activities
Am. Univ. of Biblical Studies: No evening classes
Appalachian Technical College: No evening classes
Beulah Heights University: No evening classes
Corinth Baptist/Gainesville: No evening activities
Eastridge Community Church: Closed Today
First Atlanta Baptist Church: No evening activities
Ga. Ins of Cosmetology/Buford: Closed Today
Georgia Christian University: Closed Today and Tomorrow; No evening classes
Hillcrest Church of Christ: Closed Today
Hope Church/Dallas: No evening activities
Hopewell Baptist/Gainesville: No evening activities
King of Glory Ch Worship: No evening activities
Lumpkin County Schools: Closed Tomorrow
New Birth Missionary Baptist Church: Services Cancelled
New Life Tabernacle COGIC: Closed Today
Salem Missionary Baptist: No evening activities
Sandy Springs Cadet Sq-Civil Air Patrol: Closed Today
Spread the Word Ch Ministries: No evening activities
St. Michael the Archangel: No evening classes
St. Thomas the Apostle Reg. Ed: No evening activities
Wildwood Baptist Church: Closed Today
Zion Baptist/Marietta: Services Cancelled
Zoe Christian Fellowship: Services Cancelled
UPDATED WEDNESDAY, JAN 16 AT 6:40 PM
1st Baptist Ch of Atlanta: No evening activities
Am. Univ. of Biblical Studies: No evening classes
Appalachian Technical College: No evening classes
Beulah Heights University: No evening classes
Corinth Baptist/Gainesville: No evening activities
Eastridge Community Church: Closed Today
First Atlanta Baptist Church: No evening activities
Ga. Ins of Cosmetology/Buford: Closed Today
Georgia Christian University: Closed Today and Tomorrow; No evening classes
Hillcrest Church of Christ: Closed Today
Hope Church/Dallas: No evening activities
Hopewell Baptist/Gainesville: No evening activities
King of Glory Ch Worship: No evening activities
Lumpkin County Schools: Closed Tomorrow
New Birth Missionary Baptist Church: Services Cancelled
New Life Tabernacle COGIC: Closed Today
Salem Missionary Baptist: No evening activities
Sandy Springs Cadet Sq-Civil Air Patrol: Closed Today
Spread the Word Ch Ministries: No evening activities
St. Michael the Archangel: No evening classes
St. Thomas the Apostle Reg. Ed: No evening activities
Wildwood Baptist Church: Closed Today
Zion Baptist/Marietta: Services Cancelled
Zoe Christian Fellowship: Services Cancelled
Snowing in Atlanta ... If you call it that.
The sound of girls screeching could be heard from my office. I rushed out of my office thinking "what in the world," only to find some of them staring out the window while others outsdie danced in the ... SNOW! Only what they call snow, I'd call a flake or two. It was hilarious ... them southern girls. Jeanne told me I'd get a good laugh out of watching people flock to the window should it snow in Atlanta ... she was right.
Lockdown
Helicopters can be heard overhead and our church is in lockdown today. Early this morning, two Dekalb county officers lost their life in a senseless crime. Both are young with kids. Those committing the crime are thought to be in the area.
Grateful Injustice
So, Monday I paid my $135 illegal left hand turn ticket. I was going to fight it, but when they said I could pay $135 and have it reduced to an ordinance violation that resulted in no points, I consented. It's not that I didn't make the illegal left hand turn, it's just that the sign was on the wrong side of the road, to the point you don't see it until you half way into the illegal turn. Anyway, I'm over it! Ok, that is until last night. Mike, RC, Travis and I were going to 7:22 at Buckhead and we were late. Mike is speeding through traffic and moves over into the HOV (carpool) lane. However, he cuts a cop off on a motorcycle in the process. The cop pulls him over, asks for his license, then asks him if he realized he was going 85 in a 55 and that he just cut him off. Mike apologizes, the cop gives back his license and we drive off. No ticket, just a "slow it down." I'm grateful Mike didn't get a ticket, but still pretty ticked that I did. Maybe I should of pulled the "I'm going to church" card that Mike used when the cop asked where he was headed. It was the truth, I just can't believe the cop believed him. The crack in Mike's voice when he said it was priceless.
Monday, January 14, 2008
As of tomorrow I will be an "official" Gerogia resident
I make Georgia my "official" home tomorrow when I go to the DMV and get my Georgia drivers license and register to vote at the same time. I tried to do it last month and then again on Saturday. Long story short, I didn't have the right paperwork the first time, then there is this little word called "suspended" on my Indiana license. While I still have a valid drivers license, as evidence by the fact that they didn't haul me away to jail or charge me a ginormous extra fee when I got the two tickets in October a week apart, the CDL portion of my drivers licensed is suspended because I didn't send in the two year physical form due in August. Since I hate doctors and I don't need the CDL anymore, the plan was to just let it fall off my driver's license. However, on Saturday, the lady at the counter feared that when she went to change it over to Georgia, the whole thing would come back suspended (i.e. making me ineligible to hold a drivers license period). She suggested I come back Tuesday (they are closed on Monday) to make sure it gets done right. I'm starting to feel like Georgia doesn't want me ... they just don't know how persistent I can be.
One thing I do know is that Georgia knows how to make the bling. I went to the courthouse to pay the ticket I got back in October. The first court date I went to, I showed up just for them to tell me the court load was too backed up and I had been rescheduled. They had sent me a notice, but it arrived two days after the scheduled court day. Anyway, my appointment was at 2 p.m. today. So I, and 400-500 other people, showed up for 2 p.m. court. You think I am exaggerating, but I am not. The line to get in went out of the building, up the steps and around the sidewalk. My ticket was cheap ($136) compared to others. I figured if they average $200 per ticket times 500 people, that's about $100,000 an hour or two. Do that 3-4 times a day and that's a whole lot of bucks. All I can say is if you ever come through DeKalb County Georgia, you best be paying attention to the signs and your speedometer.
While grateful, both Indiana and Georgia feel a little corrupt in the way they handle traffic tickets. In Indiana, you can pay extra money and if you don't get another ticket in a year, you don't get any points on your license. If you do get another ticket, then both tickets count. However, as I found out, if you have a CDL (even a suspended one) you aren't eligible for the program. In Georgia, if you don't contest the ticket, but instead choose just to pay your fine, they will automatically knock 10 miles off of your speeding ticket or, if it was a different kind of moving violation like mine (I turned left on a no turn on left), it gets reduced to an ordinance violation and you just pay the fine and get no points. While I hate that I got two tickets back in October, it was probably a God thing. In recent days when I felt like putting my gas pedal through the floorboard, I remembered I couldn't afford the ticket or the points.
One thing I do know is that Georgia knows how to make the bling. I went to the courthouse to pay the ticket I got back in October. The first court date I went to, I showed up just for them to tell me the court load was too backed up and I had been rescheduled. They had sent me a notice, but it arrived two days after the scheduled court day. Anyway, my appointment was at 2 p.m. today. So I, and 400-500 other people, showed up for 2 p.m. court. You think I am exaggerating, but I am not. The line to get in went out of the building, up the steps and around the sidewalk. My ticket was cheap ($136) compared to others. I figured if they average $200 per ticket times 500 people, that's about $100,000 an hour or two. Do that 3-4 times a day and that's a whole lot of bucks. All I can say is if you ever come through DeKalb County Georgia, you best be paying attention to the signs and your speedometer.
While grateful, both Indiana and Georgia feel a little corrupt in the way they handle traffic tickets. In Indiana, you can pay extra money and if you don't get another ticket in a year, you don't get any points on your license. If you do get another ticket, then both tickets count. However, as I found out, if you have a CDL (even a suspended one) you aren't eligible for the program. In Georgia, if you don't contest the ticket, but instead choose just to pay your fine, they will automatically knock 10 miles off of your speeding ticket or, if it was a different kind of moving violation like mine (I turned left on a no turn on left), it gets reduced to an ordinance violation and you just pay the fine and get no points. While I hate that I got two tickets back in October, it was probably a God thing. In recent days when I felt like putting my gas pedal through the floorboard, I remembered I couldn't afford the ticket or the points.
Top Four
Top four things I'm looking forward to over the next 30 days.
- I'm going home the first weekend in February to celebrate my brother's birthday. This time I'm going straight from ATL to SBN via the friendly skies of Delta. The drive is nothing less than brutal.
- The new store front is going up on youthleaderscoach.com
- We've got some great product development ideas we should be able to get off the ground soon.
- We have two ladies Cadre's over the next three weeks. They will be off the hook.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
A Night in the Trench
Last night I had my first overnighter with a bunch of my 02 middle school girls. Can I be honest? It didn't rank as the thing I was most looking forward to this week. Right beforehand I stared at the list of the 20 plus projects I'm navigating my way through thinking there is no time for this. Turns out, it was the highlight of my week and the MOST IMPORTANT thing I could do this week.
The realization came to me on my way into church this morning with a car load of girls how important it is to push your chair out from your desk and go jump in the trench. While good, in my opinion jumping into the trench is NOT giving a message, writing a discussion guide, creating some cool media or anthing else that involves you, your desk and no one else ... that's just work done in preparation for time in the trench. If you do all that and never actually jump into the trench, it's not all in vain but it falls short of the finish line.
Last night was when I first heard the story of Diana. Diana is from Cali (most of girls are from somewhere else and somehow landed in the ATL). Diana described herself as a "bad, bad girl" when she was in Cali. Her mom sent her to live with aunt in an attempt to keep her from tanking her life. While she finds the ATL boring, she longs to be in church on Wednesday night and admits she's doing much better here. Had I not stopped to just hang out, I probably would of never heard Diana's story and our conversations would never have a chance to move beyond the surface.
At our overnighter, all the girls were either black, Mexican, Puerto Rican or from some other country with cool accents. Honestly, the color of a person's skin makes no difference to me, but there are new things to learn, new challenges to overcome and new respect to be gained. All I know is that they are fun and funny, just like the white kids in Indiana. Desi, one of our leaders, keeps educating me on some things like "the weave." She says, "you'll learn, Judy, you'll learn."
The realization came to me on my way into church this morning with a car load of girls how important it is to push your chair out from your desk and go jump in the trench. While good, in my opinion jumping into the trench is NOT giving a message, writing a discussion guide, creating some cool media or anthing else that involves you, your desk and no one else ... that's just work done in preparation for time in the trench. If you do all that and never actually jump into the trench, it's not all in vain but it falls short of the finish line.
Last night was when I first heard the story of Diana. Diana is from Cali (most of girls are from somewhere else and somehow landed in the ATL). Diana described herself as a "bad, bad girl" when she was in Cali. Her mom sent her to live with aunt in an attempt to keep her from tanking her life. While she finds the ATL boring, she longs to be in church on Wednesday night and admits she's doing much better here. Had I not stopped to just hang out, I probably would of never heard Diana's story and our conversations would never have a chance to move beyond the surface.
At our overnighter, all the girls were either black, Mexican, Puerto Rican or from some other country with cool accents. Honestly, the color of a person's skin makes no difference to me, but there are new things to learn, new challenges to overcome and new respect to be gained. All I know is that they are fun and funny, just like the white kids in Indiana. Desi, one of our leaders, keeps educating me on some things like "the weave." She says, "you'll learn, Judy, you'll learn."
Quote of the Day
My friend, Angie, had this cool quote from Greg Paul on her blog. I don't know who Greg is ... my nearest guess is an incredible author whom I should be reading.
“I am sometimes struck by thoughts of the hundreds of lepers Jesus did not heal, the thousands of people who died of ridiculous little infections during his lifetime, the blind or lame beggars who missed his passing by a few hundred yards or a few minutes. He healed so few! And I, who can heal no one, am reminded that being his presence does not mean fixing everything. Being among people means being in their midst, not outside. It means being with them, not being over them. It means not looking away from their agony or humiliation, but beholding it, and having the courage to be also wounded by their pain.” -Greg Paul
“I am sometimes struck by thoughts of the hundreds of lepers Jesus did not heal, the thousands of people who died of ridiculous little infections during his lifetime, the blind or lame beggars who missed his passing by a few hundred yards or a few minutes. He healed so few! And I, who can heal no one, am reminded that being his presence does not mean fixing everything. Being among people means being in their midst, not outside. It means being with them, not being over them. It means not looking away from their agony or humiliation, but beholding it, and having the courage to be also wounded by their pain.” -Greg Paul
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Depression and Suicide
Some of you have asked me for a copy of what I said the other night at Oxygen. Here you go...
(Began my portion of the message by playing the part of the November 29 Cadre Conference Call where Jeanne is getting back on the line, after jumping off with me to hear the news)
I remember as if it were yesterday, I was standing in the entrance way of the door you came in tonight. My sister was on the other end of the cell phone trying to find the words to tell me that my niece had walked in and found my father had hanged himself. All I can remember is saying “I’m on my way home, I’m on my way home, I am on my way home” … which for me, home is 11 hours away in Indiana.
Jeanne wanted to put me on a plane, but I want to drive … I needed to drive … to cry, scream, beat the steering wheel, to be silent, to talk with Jesus. For most of the way, I had a Jars of Clay song on repeat called “Oh, my God” and that was pretty much my prayer, the cry of my heart, for in one two-minute call, my world had come crashing in on me.
During the drive home, like a bad tape recorder, I replayed the last few moments with my dad in my head over and over again. My dad had interjected some things into a conversation we were having that I missed, but I didn’t have the luxury of knowing what was about to transpire just five days later.
- He talked about how he would have been ok if he died in the hospital a month earlier when his body became toxic from an adjustment in the medicine he was on. But when we talked about suicidal thoughts before, while he had them, he said “I would never ever do that.”
- Later on, he repeated what he had said before, “I wish I would have never bought the house. I wish I would have moved in to an apartment. I wish your brother would have put me in a nursing home.”
- He lived with me for awhile when he had depression before, he said “I enjoyed living together. We had a good thing going.”
- Randomly he said, “Don’t buy me a Christmas present.”
Instead of listening between the lines, you know what I did, I coached him.
- “Dad, that house was a great investment.” He loved to play the stock market and make a buck or two. He loved to know he beat the system.
- “Too bad dad, I already bought you a Christmas present.” I knew he still didn’t feel well and just figured he didn’t feel much like celebrating the holidays.
- “Dad, I promised we’ll get you to the doctor to get you on the right meds. But dad you’ve got to speak up … you can’t say you’re feeling fine when you aren’t. You can say you’re physically fine, but you’re not in your mind. Dad you’ve got to speak up.” Then we talked about other stuff, I hugged and kissed him, said “I love you dad,” then left.
“You’ve got to speak up dad” … those words echo in my mind today. I tell you all that, so that if you ever find yourself in a state of depression that’s lingered, get some help … as Jeanne already mentioned, sometimes it’s a biological thing. If the first person you tell doesn’t listen or fully grasp what you’re saying, tell someone else. Don’t make people have to guess. Don’t make them have to put the puzzle pieces together or figure out the clues you’re trying to send. Don’t buy into the lies the devil tries to sell you like “they’ll think I’m weak” or “I don’t want to burden them.”
But don’t say those words flippantly either. When I got back, I overheard some of the students, after a bad test or a tough day, say things like “I could just shoot myself” or “I just want to jump off a cliff right about now.” With a smile on my face, in a joking but at the same time serious way, I said, “enough with the suicide jokes.”
And don’t be a drama queen or king either by throwing those statements out there to get attention. If you’re down because you’ve just lost your girlfriend or boyfriend of two weeks or even two years, you’re smart enough to know that while it hurts like all get out now, in time it will get better. Get perspective. BUT if it’s lingering, speak up ... speak up.
At the same time, if you’re on the other end of conversation … listen. On the way home that day, I decided I wanted to officiate my dad funeral … I felt Jesus had some things He wanted me to say. In a nutshell, I talked about how we all wished we could get some do-overs in our life, but sometimes you can wish all you want, but a do-over is just not available. Instead, you just need to resolve to do better next time. My resolution was to love people better. After reflecting on my last conversation with my dad, one way I know to love better is by listening better … to lean in and listen, ask better questions, the questions that no one is asking that go beyond the surface chatter. Things like, “Dad, what do mean when you say that?” “Friend, normally when you talk your eyes dance, they aren’t dancing today, what’s up?”
I want to end tonight by saying this … ups and downs, highs and lows, peaks and valleys are a part of life. You heard Jeanne earlier tonight talk about tests you can take to see how prone you are to depression. If I were to take that test, between the my dad’s unexpected tragic death, the holidays, a new job and living in a city hundreds of miles away from my family and friends … my susceptibility to depression score would be off-the-chart. But, I don’t have to take a test, because I can feel it here, inside of me, in my heart. I know I could easily dig myself into hole right now.
For example, it was good for me to drive home for my dad’s funeral, it wasn’t for me to drive home at Christmas. I was heading into a holiday of tradition where a significant member of the family wasn’t going to be there for the first time. I was battling a wave of could of … would of … should of guilt and really just wanted to drive off a cliff or put my gas pedal through the floor board. How many of you know that if I would have dwelled on those thoughts the entire 11 hour drive home, it would not have left me in a good place? While there are no cliffs in Indiana there are a lot of straight-aways to put the gas pedal through the floor board. I HAD THE OPTION TO DWELL OR STAY WELL. I chose not to dwell, but instead to call some friends and think through some product development ideas I have. I wish that was the one and only time I’d ever have to deal with it, but I was getting nailed with it Sunday night to the point I went home from church at 8 and was in bed by 9, when I’m normally just warming up. I laid there in bed, staring at the ceiling for a half hour. At that point, I once again was faced with the option TO DWELL OR STAY WELL I had made a new years resolution to read two books a month and I new if I knocked out a couple of chapters, I’d feel better. So, that’s what I did, I simply got up and read until I got to the point I could sleep. It’s ok for me to process some of my thoughts and feelings about the suicide, but I'm telling you if I park there for any length of time, I am in trouble. It’s in those moments I have to ... and you have to ... decide to DWELL OR STAY WELL. You have to choose to refocus. Even last night, Jenna text me, how’s work going because it was pretty late and I wasn’t home. I responded by telling her that I was working off a funk I was in.
DWELL OR STAY WELL, only you, and you alone, can decide where you are going to allow you head to go … your parents can’t decide for you, your friends can’t decide for you, even Jesus can’t decide … he can help, but he can’t decide for you … you and you alone.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Cadre - 29 States Down 21 To Go
The Cadre - Jeanne's mentoring program for youth pastors - is off the hook. I believe within the next three years, we will have every state represented. This year wasn't bad, the records show 116 youth pastors from 29 different states are represented. The surprise came from the show from California. While it's a largly populated state ... it's a gazillion miles away ... ok, maybe not a gazillion, but it feels that way when you sit in the middle seat on a sold out plane.
Oklahoma came in at number one with twelve. What in the world is in Oklahoma? I didn't know 12 people lived there ... but, oh wait, that's where the infamous Adam Barnett is from. Adam, you almost fell from favor today when you were late getting on the conference call ... but loved that you got on just in time. You are truly amazing and one of the coolest of the cool.
Oklahoma
12
Florida
11
Texas
9
California
9
Michigan
8
Georgia
8
Pennsylvania
6
New Jersey
5
Arizona
5
Arkansas
4
Washington
3
Tennessee
3
South Carolina
3
Montana
3
Missouri
3
Kansas
3
Colorado
3
Alabama
3
Ohio
2
North Carolina
2
Nebraska
2
Indiana
2
Illinois
1
Wyoming
1
Wisconsin
1
West Virginia
1
Nevada
1
Maryland
1
Kentucky
1
Total
116
Oklahoma came in at number one with twelve. What in the world is in Oklahoma? I didn't know 12 people lived there ... but, oh wait, that's where the infamous Adam Barnett is from. Adam, you almost fell from favor today when you were late getting on the conference call ... but loved that you got on just in time. You are truly amazing and one of the coolest of the cool.
Oklahoma
12
Florida
11
Texas
9
California
9
Michigan
8
Georgia
8
Pennsylvania
6
New Jersey
5
Arizona
5
Arkansas
4
Washington
3
Tennessee
3
South Carolina
3
Montana
3
Missouri
3
Kansas
3
Colorado
3
Alabama
3
Ohio
2
North Carolina
2
Nebraska
2
Indiana
2
Illinois
1
Wyoming
1
Wisconsin
1
West Virginia
1
Nevada
1
Maryland
1
Kentucky
1
Total
116
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Dungeon of Depression
Last night at Oxygen Jeanne addressed the topic of depression and suicide. She nailed it with ways to conquer depression, while encouraging them to gain perspective on people and events that lead to depression. In addition to two great skits, she gave me part of the message time to talk about my dad and my life after a suicide. The response was huge.
One crazy sad story from last night when we were praying for kids was when Missy was talking with an 8th grade girl who was sobbing. Literally that morning, her parents had woke her up at 3 a.m. and told her that she was a mistake, they didn't love her or want her. They brought her down to Atlanta and dropped her off in the foster care system. She landed in the foster care home of one of our church members and the same day came to our youth ministry. Naturally, she was broken. Fortunately, we talk family a lot here and Missy told her, while her heart aches for her and it's a tragic situation, she's welcome here and we'd loved to have her be a part of our family. Words may or may not have felt cheap at that moment, but time will show our words match our actions. Pray for her and the numerous other foster kids in our ministry.
One crazy sad story from last night when we were praying for kids was when Missy was talking with an 8th grade girl who was sobbing. Literally that morning, her parents had woke her up at 3 a.m. and told her that she was a mistake, they didn't love her or want her. They brought her down to Atlanta and dropped her off in the foster care system. She landed in the foster care home of one of our church members and the same day came to our youth ministry. Naturally, she was broken. Fortunately, we talk family a lot here and Missy told her, while her heart aches for her and it's a tragic situation, she's welcome here and we'd loved to have her be a part of our family. Words may or may not have felt cheap at that moment, but time will show our words match our actions. Pray for her and the numerous other foster kids in our ministry.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Now I Get It
Did you ever have one of those ah ha moments? Lately I felt like the ball in a ping pong match, bouncing and landing all over the table ... or maybe it's more like reaching new levels of ADD. I couldn't figure it out until I put down on paper everything going through my head at random times. Turns out I have 23 projects I am providing oversight on ... seriuos tweaking ahead.
Monday, January 07, 2008
Who Are You Going To Be Judy
Character is a big, big deal to me. There is always some area I'm trying to refine within myself. In some ways, it's a large part of what drives me. I do pretty well in that department, but am always asking Jesus to help me be the best me I can be. The question I privately ask myself is, "Who are you going to be Judy?" ... sometimes I word it ... "Where are you going to land?"
- When I find myself in the middle of a conversation laced with gossip.
- When it's easier to twist words in such a way that I look more favorable and the other person looks less.
- When I have the opportunity to extend grace and mercy or cast judgement.
- When I have the option to speak up or stay silent.
- When I have the opportunity to shift blame or own up to my mistakes.
- When I can give God the glory or take it for myself.
Even in areas like...
- When I've wanted to blow money left and right (incidently, I'm doing really well in that department since the new year ... buying the mini-fridge and microwave for my office has already saved me over $50 the last seven days alone ... it hasn't paid off the appliances yet, but by the end of the month it will)
- When I want to eat fast food/junk food (doing better, but still room for much improvement...mini-fridge and microwave are helping)
- When I want to skip jumping on the treadmill (not doing great in this department)
- When I want to be lazy and not read (I found that if I keep my current book and Bible next to me at all times, it helps alot)
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Tent of Meeting
I enjoyed the nearly 70 degree weather, but Jeanne's teaching in Alliance today even more. It revolved around the Tent of Meeting found in Exodus 33:7-11.
7 Now Moses used to take a tent and pitch it outside the camp some distance away, calling it the "tent of meeting." Anyone inquiring of the LORD would go to the tent of meeting outside the camp. 8 And whenever Moses went out to the tent, all the people rose and stood at the entrances to their tents, watching Moses until he entered the tent. 9 As Moses went into the tent, the pillar of cloud would come down and stay at the entrance, while the LORD spoke with Moses. 10 Whenever the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the entrance to the tent, they all stood and worshiped, each at the entrance to his tent. 11 The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent.
The Tent of Meeting is your purposeful place of personal encounter with the Lord (ie your quiet time).
"I don't know shortcuts on anything that matters ... your walk with Christ, marriage, raising kids, losing weight, etc."
"I read the Word of God whether I want to or not ... with a pen in my hand. It's Oxygen to my soul."
In a nutshell, here are the six things that will happen WITHOUT the Tent of Meeting...
1. Ministry will become a chore and not a calling.
2. You'll talk about discipleship but in reality will be discipling no one. Moses taught Joshua ministry started and stopped in the Tent of Meeting.
3. Eventually you'll minister through a critical, judgemental spirit not through a heart of love.
4. You find yourself repeatively moving in man's wisdom and not in God's, but frightfully enough will still see results ... God honor his Word.
5. You'll often battle discouragement. We try to get security and happiness through others and things but it will never be the result of our circumstances ... it is an inside job.
6. You have a higher likelihood of giving into your Hell bait areas (ex. disease to please). There are not necessarily levels of sin, but some sin areas costs you more. Sin begins as a seed, prayer combats and aborts it before it takes root.
7 Now Moses used to take a tent and pitch it outside the camp some distance away, calling it the "tent of meeting." Anyone inquiring of the LORD would go to the tent of meeting outside the camp. 8 And whenever Moses went out to the tent, all the people rose and stood at the entrances to their tents, watching Moses until he entered the tent. 9 As Moses went into the tent, the pillar of cloud would come down and stay at the entrance, while the LORD spoke with Moses. 10 Whenever the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the entrance to the tent, they all stood and worshiped, each at the entrance to his tent. 11 The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent.
The Tent of Meeting is your purposeful place of personal encounter with the Lord (ie your quiet time).
"I don't know shortcuts on anything that matters ... your walk with Christ, marriage, raising kids, losing weight, etc."
"I read the Word of God whether I want to or not ... with a pen in my hand. It's Oxygen to my soul."
In a nutshell, here are the six things that will happen WITHOUT the Tent of Meeting...
1. Ministry will become a chore and not a calling.
2. You'll talk about discipleship but in reality will be discipling no one. Moses taught Joshua ministry started and stopped in the Tent of Meeting.
3. Eventually you'll minister through a critical, judgemental spirit not through a heart of love.
4. You find yourself repeatively moving in man's wisdom and not in God's, but frightfully enough will still see results ... God honor his Word.
5. You'll often battle discouragement. We try to get security and happiness through others and things but it will never be the result of our circumstances ... it is an inside job.
6. You have a higher likelihood of giving into your Hell bait areas (ex. disease to please). There are not necessarily levels of sin, but some sin areas costs you more. Sin begins as a seed, prayer combats and aborts it before it takes root.
Friday, January 04, 2008
Another Great Jeanne Quote
I'm sure she stole it from somewhere, but I'm giving Jeanne the credit.
There's not much difference between your frineds and your enemies. Your friends choose to focus on the positve things about you, while your enemies focus on the negative.
There's not much difference between your frineds and your enemies. Your friends choose to focus on the positve things about you, while your enemies focus on the negative.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
FREEZING!
My friends always get ticked when I write or text them about how wonderful the weather is in Atlanta. Ok, just so you know, it's stinkin' frigid right now ... I even saw snowflakes in the headlights last night. My car says it's 23 degrees. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. There is only one degree difference right now between the windchill factor in Atlanta vs. Granger ... there goes my bragging right.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
A Resource Every Youth Pastor Should Have On Their Shelf
I'm the last one to listen to Jeanne's monthly resource - "Source" and "Youth Leader's Coach"- before it goes to Piper Media for duplication (which if Josh and I have anything to do with it, will be downloadable in the next few months) and Midwest Mail Works for mailing. This month had some bumps so I've had to send it back to the guys for tweaking, which has required me to listen to it not once but four times. After listening to it for the fourth time, I've come to the conclusion that this is a resource that should be on every youth pastor's shelf ... in fact, they should have multiple copies to hand out to students.
The title of the "Source" this month is "Guy Meets Guy ... Girl Meets Girl" and it's on homosexuality. Latest stats tell us that 30% of students today will at one point in their teenage years question their sexual identity. That's a significant percentage. It doesn't mean that 30% will adopt a homosexual lifestyle, but 30% will at some point question their identity. With that in mind, this resource is invaluable. Not because of the high percentage though, but because of the content within. The approach Jeanne takes in the resource is non-offensive, yet some of the most straight talk on the topic that I've ever heard.
I've got a couple of friends whom I love dearly that live a homosexual lifestyle, so I listen and read things through a different filter. I listen and read things with them in mind ... considering what they might think, how they might interpret what was said, etc. Now, the reality is I know that if we actually sat down and discussed it, while it would be a great conversation, we probably wouldn't influence each others thoughts. Nevertheless, they matter to me. And, the kids questioning their sexual identity matter to me. This is a CD that they need to listen to ... especially the three tracks "Answering the Question, 'Does this mean I'm gay,'" "The Root Issue: Unmet Emotional Needs" and "Breaking Away from Emotional Dependency."
The title of the "Source" this month is "Guy Meets Guy ... Girl Meets Girl" and it's on homosexuality. Latest stats tell us that 30% of students today will at one point in their teenage years question their sexual identity. That's a significant percentage. It doesn't mean that 30% will adopt a homosexual lifestyle, but 30% will at some point question their identity. With that in mind, this resource is invaluable. Not because of the high percentage though, but because of the content within. The approach Jeanne takes in the resource is non-offensive, yet some of the most straight talk on the topic that I've ever heard.
I've got a couple of friends whom I love dearly that live a homosexual lifestyle, so I listen and read things through a different filter. I listen and read things with them in mind ... considering what they might think, how they might interpret what was said, etc. Now, the reality is I know that if we actually sat down and discussed it, while it would be a great conversation, we probably wouldn't influence each others thoughts. Nevertheless, they matter to me. And, the kids questioning their sexual identity matter to me. This is a CD that they need to listen to ... especially the three tracks "Answering the Question, 'Does this mean I'm gay,'" "The Root Issue: Unmet Emotional Needs" and "Breaking Away from Emotional Dependency."
Resourcing the Church
Spent part of New Year's Eve dreaming youth ministry stuff with Josh and Monica ... and totally loved it. When Josh Mayo and I put our brains together it's a scary thing. We both have way too many ideas than we possibly have time to implement. However, we have landed on four that we're working on getting done before Jeanne goes to the Group Conference in February. I am totally stoked. Later on, after we rung in the new year, I was talking with Jeanne about what a geek I am on this stuff and how much I absolutely love it. She laughed, affirmed me and said "Judy, I love watching your eyes light up when you talk about resourcing the church." I can't wait to dive in. I think the stuff we've come up will help youth pastors around the nation to spend less time behind their desk and enable them to go out and love on their kids.
I think 2008 is going to be a life changing year.
I think 2008 is going to be a life changing year.
New Year's Resolutions in Bite Size Chunks #2 and #3
I'm off to a good start on the second one. New Year's Resolution #2 is to get my finances in order and be strategic about them. Most people would tell me I've already got that nailed because, other than my rent and utilities, I have no debt ... credit cards are paid at the end of each month, car is paid off, etc. However, lately I've spent money like it's going out of style ... between grief shopping, going out to eat because I'm always in a mad dash hurry and impulse buying, I'm out of control.
So, I bought a small refrigerator and microwave for my office (you've got to spend money to make it ... right?) and I loaded it up with Diet Dew and bought some soup and stuff. So instead of running down to QT twice a day to buy a $1.50 bottle of Diet Dew, I'll drink my cans that cost me a quarter a piece. Instead of running to Wendy's and spending $5, I'll eat my PBJ and soup for $1.50. I'm feeling pretty good about this one, especially since I spent the Michigan game going through mounds of paperwork to make sure my I's are dotted and T's are crossed. In the process I found about $150 in different gift cards, so that was fun. The only other thing I have to get a handle on in this area is my retirement accounts, they are everywhere. I'm not sure how I'm going to resolve that one but I'll figure it out.
Resolution #3 is to eat better and exercise, pretty much the resolution everyone and their brother makes. Rather than to say I want to lose "X" pounds, I'm just going to keep it simple and say I'm going to make movements in the right direction when it comes to eating and exercising. I've got a plan that I will implement in bite size chuncks. It begins with slowing life down a notch ... not much (I actually enjoy Mach 2, just not Mach 3) ... just a little to help keep my priorities ... well, a priority.
So, I bought a small refrigerator and microwave for my office (you've got to spend money to make it ... right?) and I loaded it up with Diet Dew and bought some soup and stuff. So instead of running down to QT twice a day to buy a $1.50 bottle of Diet Dew, I'll drink my cans that cost me a quarter a piece. Instead of running to Wendy's and spending $5, I'll eat my PBJ and soup for $1.50. I'm feeling pretty good about this one, especially since I spent the Michigan game going through mounds of paperwork to make sure my I's are dotted and T's are crossed. In the process I found about $150 in different gift cards, so that was fun. The only other thing I have to get a handle on in this area is my retirement accounts, they are everywhere. I'm not sure how I'm going to resolve that one but I'll figure it out.
Resolution #3 is to eat better and exercise, pretty much the resolution everyone and their brother makes. Rather than to say I want to lose "X" pounds, I'm just going to keep it simple and say I'm going to make movements in the right direction when it comes to eating and exercising. I've got a plan that I will implement in bite size chuncks. It begins with slowing life down a notch ... not much (I actually enjoy Mach 2, just not Mach 3) ... just a little to help keep my priorities ... well, a priority.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
New Year's Resolutions in Bite Size Chunks
I taught about Resolutions in Sunday School (somebody should rename that beast) this morning. I've got four I'm leaning in on. Actually, there are a dozen, but I've narrowed it down to four ... figured that's enough to focus on in any given year.
One of my resolutions is to read more. 2007 was a horrible reading year for me with all the my life, job and geographic changes. I decided to be "resolved" a little early, but figured that's ok. I listended to Malcolm Gladwell's Tipping Point on the way home yesterday and over Christmas began Carly Fiorina's Tough Choices. Great stuff. I'll give you the cliff notes to Carly's book within the next month. While I'd love to read a book a week, I'm setting my goal at reading one book and listening to another each month. By the end of the year, I should have digested 24 books. While not huge, a bite size chunk I think I can handle.
One of my resolutions is to read more. 2007 was a horrible reading year for me with all the my life, job and geographic changes. I decided to be "resolved" a little early, but figured that's ok. I listended to Malcolm Gladwell's Tipping Point on the way home yesterday and over Christmas began Carly Fiorina's Tough Choices. Great stuff. I'll give you the cliff notes to Carly's book within the next month. While I'd love to read a book a week, I'm setting my goal at reading one book and listening to another each month. By the end of the year, I should have digested 24 books. While not huge, a bite size chunk I think I can handle.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Wow What a Day (or do you count that as two?)
Back home, rather than doing Christmas presents, some friends and I decided to get a couple of hotel rooms at the Marriott, have dinner at the Emporium, swirl around in the whirlpool and just enjoy each other's company. There were eight of us, so it was a cool little party. We went to bed kind of late (at least for them :) ) at around 1 a.m. I proceeded to wake up bright-eyed at 4:30 a.m. thinking about one of my old Oasis students, Jami, who lost her dad two weeks ago. Thoughts were swirling around in my head on what we could do that might actually help ... even in a small sort of way. I thought, prayed and came up with a game plan (too many times I've thought and prayed and never followed through, lesson learned along time ago on that one). So I headed downstairs to begin to put the plan into action, adding it to an already busy day ... take a look.
6:45 a.m. Purchased stuff in the gift shop for some gifts and checked email in the lobby
7:30 Josh called and was puking his guts out. He had to leave the hospital to go home. Asked if I could get his van over to Elkhart General in case baby Sarah got released (she was a little dehydrated from the flu, which she proceeded to give Josh. All is good, she is home).
8:00 - 10:00 Got the keys, got the van, drove to and from EGH, watched the baby while Dee took a shower at the hospital, then dropped Loretta back off at the hotel
10:15 -11:45 Met with Seth and Sarah, got caught up and talked about what we think God's dream is in each of our worlds. Awesome friends, some of my favorite people to dream the dream with.
12:00 - 2:00 p.m. Met with Rhonda, Denise, Danielle, Jami (who lost her dad), Loretta, Bob and Karen for lunch at South Bend Chocolate Cafe. In the middle of it, took a time out to do a short call with Andy over at Simply Youth Ministry to talk about Jeanne's portion of youthministry.com stuff. Gave Jami different gifts God laid on my heart. It wasn't a ton, but I hope it helps in a couple of different areas. Great friends and great fun all around.
2:15 - 3:15 Checked out of the hotel, drove to vet to talk with her on Zach's diagnosis and picked up his medicine. I should of asked for a script for CVS; vet charged me $30 for 30 pills, could of got it for $18 at CVS. Lesson learned, don't get your animal medicine from the vet if they have the same stuff at the pharmacy (which we learned with Ben, vets can write a prescription for). Between vet bill and medicine, forked out $225 to find out that Zach has what I figured out from the internet ... a hyperthyroid. NOT great fun for me or Zach.
3:15 - 4:30 Met with Naomi and we talk about "knowing God's will for your life." Wonderful friend, fun discussion.
4:30 - 6:00 Met with Rachel from Arizona and talked about youth ministry, life in general and her first year in the Cadre. Once again, amazing friend, good times getting caught up.
6:00 - 7:00 Tossed all of my clothes and stuff at my sister's house into my car and picked up stuff for party at Chris' house. Forgot some stuff, but sister had my back.
7:00 - 12:30 a.m. Had a blast with 60-70 AMAZING friends. Mike, Scott and I aren't in town much, so we like to see people in masses when we come home.
12:30 - 1:30 Stopped at my mom's house to drop off Zach's medicine and some paperwork.
1:30 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. Drove home to Atlanta, needed to be home by 3:00. Normally only an 11 hour trip, but needless to say took some naps along the journey
Ok, after all that ... can you say STUPID! What in the world was I thinking? I'm going to bed now. Oh, wait a minute, what about all that stuff in my car and, oh yeah, have to teach Sunday school in the morning. Oops, better get to work.
6:45 a.m. Purchased stuff in the gift shop for some gifts and checked email in the lobby
7:30 Josh called and was puking his guts out. He had to leave the hospital to go home. Asked if I could get his van over to Elkhart General in case baby Sarah got released (she was a little dehydrated from the flu, which she proceeded to give Josh. All is good, she is home).
8:00 - 10:00 Got the keys, got the van, drove to and from EGH, watched the baby while Dee took a shower at the hospital, then dropped Loretta back off at the hotel
10:15 -11:45 Met with Seth and Sarah, got caught up and talked about what we think God's dream is in each of our worlds. Awesome friends, some of my favorite people to dream the dream with.
12:00 - 2:00 p.m. Met with Rhonda, Denise, Danielle, Jami (who lost her dad), Loretta, Bob and Karen for lunch at South Bend Chocolate Cafe. In the middle of it, took a time out to do a short call with Andy over at Simply Youth Ministry to talk about Jeanne's portion of youthministry.com stuff. Gave Jami different gifts God laid on my heart. It wasn't a ton, but I hope it helps in a couple of different areas. Great friends and great fun all around.
2:15 - 3:15 Checked out of the hotel, drove to vet to talk with her on Zach's diagnosis and picked up his medicine. I should of asked for a script for CVS; vet charged me $30 for 30 pills, could of got it for $18 at CVS. Lesson learned, don't get your animal medicine from the vet if they have the same stuff at the pharmacy (which we learned with Ben, vets can write a prescription for). Between vet bill and medicine, forked out $225 to find out that Zach has what I figured out from the internet ... a hyperthyroid. NOT great fun for me or Zach.
3:15 - 4:30 Met with Naomi and we talk about "knowing God's will for your life." Wonderful friend, fun discussion.
4:30 - 6:00 Met with Rachel from Arizona and talked about youth ministry, life in general and her first year in the Cadre. Once again, amazing friend, good times getting caught up.
6:00 - 7:00 Tossed all of my clothes and stuff at my sister's house into my car and picked up stuff for party at Chris' house. Forgot some stuff, but sister had my back.
7:00 - 12:30 a.m. Had a blast with 60-70 AMAZING friends. Mike, Scott and I aren't in town much, so we like to see people in masses when we come home.
12:30 - 1:30 Stopped at my mom's house to drop off Zach's medicine and some paperwork.
1:30 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. Drove home to Atlanta, needed to be home by 3:00. Normally only an 11 hour trip, but needless to say took some naps along the journey
Ok, after all that ... can you say STUPID! What in the world was I thinking? I'm going to bed now. Oh, wait a minute, what about all that stuff in my car and, oh yeah, have to teach Sunday school in the morning. Oops, better get to work.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
While I'm in cold, snowy Indiana for the week enjoying time with family and friends, right before I left Atlanta we did a fun outreach night. One of the transition videos between short dramas can be seen here. The guy playing the Christmas tree is Alex and, while he's silly here, is one of the most amazing worship leaders. I describe him as "the guy who when he opens his mouth, heaven comes down." The other guy in the picture above is Vinny. Vinny is a first year Master's Commission student who seems quiet and reserved. However, he is a total comedian on the stage. With any luck maybe I can get Sterling to post some of Vinny's stuff from the fall retreat where he and Grant stole the show.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
MASTER'S COMMISSION ATLANTA
The FIRST YEAR MASTER'S COMMISSION ATLANTA pics from the Christmas Party are below, along with the staff's pic. Eventually, I will post the second and third year MC ATL pictures as well.
While I absolutley love, love, love working with youth pastor's in the CADRE, these students have been a pure joy and make me laugh and smile so often each day. While I don't walk with them on the academic side every day, I do spend considerable time with them between projects, Cadre and other activities. For some reason, God has granted me favor with a lot of them. It would be cool if every church in America, remotely doing things right, would run one of these (of course, only if they are going to do it well...which is no easy task). The work load to teach, train and manage them is enormous, but the outcome - should you be willing to deal with a few more dings in the wall and stains on the carpet - is revolutionary. Between what we do with the Cadre and MC ATL, it really does feel like the MULTIPLICATION EFFECT at its finest hour.
While I absolutley love, love, love working with youth pastor's in the CADRE, these students have been a pure joy and make me laugh and smile so often each day. While I don't walk with them on the academic side every day, I do spend considerable time with them between projects, Cadre and other activities. For some reason, God has granted me favor with a lot of them. It would be cool if every church in America, remotely doing things right, would run one of these (of course, only if they are going to do it well...which is no easy task). The work load to teach, train and manage them is enormous, but the outcome - should you be willing to deal with a few more dings in the wall and stains on the carpet - is revolutionary. Between what we do with the Cadre and MC ATL, it really does feel like the MULTIPLICATION EFFECT at its finest hour.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Cool Coversations
I just had the most amazing conversation with five Master's Commission students at 10 a.m. at night, all standing and sitting around my relatively small office. There was so much energy and excitement in the room I could hardly stand it. I spent an hour dreaming, vision casting and encouraging them on what it means to "champion" people and projects ... what it looks like, how it's played out, how it's evidenced in your life... In the end, I'm not sure who left more on fire ... me or them. It was a cool night.
Dealing with the Desert Times and Alliance
Early, early this morning I listened to the final edits of Youth Leader's Coach for December. It's called Dealing with the Desert Times. All I can say is WOW ... hands down one of the top five most powerful, and helpful, messages I've ever heard.
Great quote and thoughts from Alliance's Leadership Team Meeting today...
It's far too easy to be a full-time minister but a part-time follower of Christ.
Jesus made himself of "no reputation". He chose not to claim His rights as God.
What rights did you "choose" to give up last year?
What do you do when you realize you are the most important person in the room? At the Last Supper, Jesus chose to wash people's feet.
Great quote and thoughts from Alliance's Leadership Team Meeting today...
It's far too easy to be a full-time minister but a part-time follower of Christ.
Jesus made himself of "no reputation". He chose not to claim His rights as God.
What rights did you "choose" to give up last year?
What do you do when you realize you are the most important person in the room? At the Last Supper, Jesus chose to wash people's feet.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Maximizing Your Mission Trip Experience
Matt and Julie Cooper
Matt Cooper with Back2Back Ministries was on the Epic Conference Call today. As expected, he knocked it out of the park. He now has a new fan in Jeanne. Here were my highlights from our time with him...
1. He answer the question, "Are short-term missions even helpful?" He told the story of how the kids at the orphanage wanted to make scrapebooks, as they had seen some of the women on the base make. The ladies were worried. They wondered, "What pictures would they have to put in them?" Long and short of it, when they went to do them, a girl pulled out a box of pictures of herself with the various teams that had come through. These were some of her prized possessions, most memorable moments. I loved the way he answered the question through a story ... totally dug it!
2. He did this cool visual with a clock, talking about Experience, Reflection, Changed Heart and Action. Often times we don't go any further beyond a "Changed Heart," basically the moutnain top expereince of a mission trip. He said the mountain top experience will be gone within 30 days, if we don't help them with "Action" steps upon their return.
3. He said that icebreakers and team building exercises are good, but serving together beforehand is even better ... have them do a Habitate project or something like it before they get there. Get them together and focus on something other than themsleves. Teams that bond well beforehand hit the ground running. Those that don't, it takes 3-4 days of their trip just to do that.
4. He encouraged them to find an organization that will take care of the details, so they can do ministry and not worry about what's for dinner and who is going to get it. I don't think he realizes how hard it is to find organizations that do that well. Back2Back has beat every organization I've worked with hands down.
5. If possible, get pictures and names of kids at the ophanages/ministry location ahead of time so that they can pray, prepare, etc. By doing so, a bond is formed even before your students get there.
6. He talked about making sure to know the concerns of your parents. It affirmed my "know and answer the questions before they are ever asked" mentality.
7. He mentioned "mission trips are pressure cookers for growth." Amen. Liked that saying.
8. Look for ways to involve other students and people in your church, to make them feel more a part of the trip.
9. Expect to be ministered to. As you pour out, you'll be poured into as well.
10. Keep great track of travel documents. If you're not good at it, admit it ... and hand off the job.
The only thing I cringed at is when he said, "Be flexible. We've found that students do fine with change, but adults don't." I totally knew what he meant when he said it, but have found organizaitons to use that line when they haven't done their homework. Fortunately, Back2Back is not one of them. They do the front end work, so youth ministries can maximize their mission trip expereince.
Well done Matt Cooper! You, Julie, Bill and Heather are loved and have fans in the ATL.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Elf Yourself
Ok, this made me laugh like crazy. If you ever wanted to see what three of my amazing friends and I would look like bustin' a move with pointed toes, then go here.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Calling Time Out
It was sunny and 82 degrees today. Far too nice to be inside, so I headed to Stone Mountain this afternoon for some time with Jesus ... it turned out to be time with Jesus, ducks and the squirrels. I can't believe I've lived here over 5 months and have just now explored this place. It's beautiful beyond words. While there, I read the book of Job ... a very interesting read after coming off a hard couple of weeks. Pictures are below.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
A Great Quote
The years will teach you what the days will never know.
It's one of Jeanne's favorite Emerson quotes. I love it!
It's one of Jeanne's favorite Emerson quotes. I love it!
Saturday, December 08, 2007
The Audience That Day and The Days Prior
LAST REFLECTION ON THE FUNERAL
Officiating my dad's service was a tough call. I wanted to do it, thought I could do, but didn't know if I could pull it off. It's been a redeeming moment in the midst of tragedy.
I got a lot of "great jobs," so it felt good and right. In fact, when Jeanne read it beforehand she wanted me to promise to make an annoucement sometime at the dinner afterwards that "I don't do funerals." I told her, "don't be silly." She told me, "I'm serious." When I got a number of requests afterwards, I realized she was serious. It was very honoring and kind of funny at the same time. My greatest compliment came from my aunt, she said "Judy, if you had a church, I'd come and listen to you every week. I didn't even want to get up to go have a cigarette." That little comment meant the world to me and makes me smile even as I write. However, nothing compares to what I realized afterwards. I didn't think about it at the time, but there were three different families in the room that day directly affected by previous suicides of their brother, sister, son and daughter. My hope and prayer is that, though my open and honest communication, something resonated in their hearts that they can hold onto.
LAST REFLECTION ON MEDICAL CARE
I've been told that we've got the potential for a lawsuit. That's not the kind of person I am, but I am one to learn from mistakes - my own and others - in an effort not to repeat them. Some asked about my father being in ICU just a month ago. Here's the story...
The drug, Seroquel, that he took for his bipolar disorder was skipping a few beats. The doctor thought a sleep aid would do the trick. Well it turns out when he mixed the sleep aid with the Seroquel, it resulted in either Serotonin Syndrome or Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome. Basically his body turned toxic on him and he went into a catatonic state. He was in ICU for a week with oxygen levels all over the chart. Obviously at that point, they took him off all his meds. They did a gazillion tests and came up with nothing. After about 4-5 days he started coming out of it. However, when he was better, instead of starting him on Seroquel again without the sleep aid or something else, they released him and put him on nothing - a guy who previously was on high doses of an anti-depressent, now on nothing ... what was his doctor thinking? In my gut, I knew that didn't seem right and should of questioned it further ... what was I thinking? In hindsight, I should of pestered and pursued other experts.
All that to say, trust doctors but if the answers don't seem quite right, be relentless ... don't give up and don't give in ... Michelle and Rob had to do it with Isabelle, Jeanne and Josh have to do it with Monica, and we should have done it with my dad. I'm not going to sue, but I am going to learn.
Officiating my dad's service was a tough call. I wanted to do it, thought I could do, but didn't know if I could pull it off. It's been a redeeming moment in the midst of tragedy.
I got a lot of "great jobs," so it felt good and right. In fact, when Jeanne read it beforehand she wanted me to promise to make an annoucement sometime at the dinner afterwards that "I don't do funerals." I told her, "don't be silly." She told me, "I'm serious." When I got a number of requests afterwards, I realized she was serious. It was very honoring and kind of funny at the same time. My greatest compliment came from my aunt, she said "Judy, if you had a church, I'd come and listen to you every week. I didn't even want to get up to go have a cigarette." That little comment meant the world to me and makes me smile even as I write. However, nothing compares to what I realized afterwards. I didn't think about it at the time, but there were three different families in the room that day directly affected by previous suicides of their brother, sister, son and daughter. My hope and prayer is that, though my open and honest communication, something resonated in their hearts that they can hold onto.
LAST REFLECTION ON MEDICAL CARE
I've been told that we've got the potential for a lawsuit. That's not the kind of person I am, but I am one to learn from mistakes - my own and others - in an effort not to repeat them. Some asked about my father being in ICU just a month ago. Here's the story...
The drug, Seroquel, that he took for his bipolar disorder was skipping a few beats. The doctor thought a sleep aid would do the trick. Well it turns out when he mixed the sleep aid with the Seroquel, it resulted in either Serotonin Syndrome or Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome. Basically his body turned toxic on him and he went into a catatonic state. He was in ICU for a week with oxygen levels all over the chart. Obviously at that point, they took him off all his meds. They did a gazillion tests and came up with nothing. After about 4-5 days he started coming out of it. However, when he was better, instead of starting him on Seroquel again without the sleep aid or something else, they released him and put him on nothing - a guy who previously was on high doses of an anti-depressent, now on nothing ... what was his doctor thinking? In my gut, I knew that didn't seem right and should of questioned it further ... what was I thinking? In hindsight, I should of pestered and pursued other experts.
All that to say, trust doctors but if the answers don't seem quite right, be relentless ... don't give up and don't give in ... Michelle and Rob had to do it with Isabelle, Jeanne and Josh have to do it with Monica, and we should have done it with my dad. I'm not going to sue, but I am going to learn.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Four Things You Don't Say At A Funeral
From what I'm told, people say silly things at funerals that aren't really helpful and that I should be grateful my list is only four long. Fortunately, God has given me the ability to laugh, not weep, over them. Here they are...
1. "Judy, I just think it did something to him when you moved down to Atlanta."
2. "He often talked about how much he missed his daughter."
3. "I'm sorry the demons got him."
4. "The demons went through him to get at you Judy."
Now here is the reality, all of these statements were said by people I love dearly who simply weren't thinking (especially the last one).
The only reason I post them is for you to be able to counsel people that are in a similiar situation on what words well-intentioned people might say that could catch them off guard.
Funerals are one of those awkward times in life where words can come out of your mouth and the minute you say them, you wish you could take them back. Hundreds of people said the right things. Just in case you are wondering, here are a sampling of the right things...
1. "I don't know what to say, just know I love you."
2. "My thoughts and prayers are with you."
3. "If you need anything, let me know."
4. "You were a phenomenal daughter."
1. "Judy, I just think it did something to him when you moved down to Atlanta."
2. "He often talked about how much he missed his daughter."
3. "I'm sorry the demons got him."
4. "The demons went through him to get at you Judy."
Now here is the reality, all of these statements were said by people I love dearly who simply weren't thinking (especially the last one).
The only reason I post them is for you to be able to counsel people that are in a similiar situation on what words well-intentioned people might say that could catch them off guard.
Funerals are one of those awkward times in life where words can come out of your mouth and the minute you say them, you wish you could take them back. Hundreds of people said the right things. Just in case you are wondering, here are a sampling of the right things...
1. "I don't know what to say, just know I love you."
2. "My thoughts and prayers are with you."
3. "If you need anything, let me know."
4. "You were a phenomenal daughter."
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Not Bad Dr. Phil
I've read on the stages of grief before, but never really experienced them. I think I've been camping in the ANGER stage, yet still feeling like the whole thing is surreal. While I would never do it, I frequently have the urge to chuck something at the wall. Last night on the ride back to Atlanta, I had the overwhelming urge to top out the speedometer at 140. Of course, I'm much too practical for either. I know whatever I break I have to clean up and that's a whole lot of points on your license for going 70 mph over the speed limit.
The other thing I've learned is when there is a suicide there is enough guilt to go around and it's far to easy to camp there as well. I've got my share that Jesus and I are wrestling with.
This is what Dr. Phil had to say on grief.
According to Dr. Phil, the biggest challenge people who have experienced loss will deal with is getting their minds around what they are facing. If you are in the grieving process, you can expect to go through these four stages:
1. Shock: Feeling numb. You may wake up wondering, "Is this real?"
2. Denial: Being unable to accept the situation. You may find yourself thinking, "This can't be happening. It's not real."
3. Anger: Wanting to lash out at everyone. You may continually ask, "How can this happen?"
4. Resolution: Feeling like there is a way past the grief, an end to the sadness. You may say to yourself, "I will get through this."
During the grieving process, you may feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster ride, but things will get better if you allow yourself to heal. Dr. Phil suggests that you keep the following in mind:
Accept the things that you can't control. "There's something that's happened in the evolution of life in our current society that leads us to arrogantly believe that we run this world — and we don't," says Dr. Phil. "We've got to be accepting of those things we don't control."
Find meaning to your suffering. Don't allow yourself to be devastated for no reason, no meaning and no purpose. "You've got to create some value to the pain that you experience in your life," advises Dr. Phil. "It may be nothing more than helping those who are further back down the trail than you are. It is a process. It is an evolution. If you use your pain and what you've been through in your life, it won't seem to [be] such nonsense."
The other thing I've learned is when there is a suicide there is enough guilt to go around and it's far to easy to camp there as well. I've got my share that Jesus and I are wrestling with.
This is what Dr. Phil had to say on grief.
According to Dr. Phil, the biggest challenge people who have experienced loss will deal with is getting their minds around what they are facing. If you are in the grieving process, you can expect to go through these four stages:
1. Shock: Feeling numb. You may wake up wondering, "Is this real?"
2. Denial: Being unable to accept the situation. You may find yourself thinking, "This can't be happening. It's not real."
3. Anger: Wanting to lash out at everyone. You may continually ask, "How can this happen?"
4. Resolution: Feeling like there is a way past the grief, an end to the sadness. You may say to yourself, "I will get through this."
During the grieving process, you may feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster ride, but things will get better if you allow yourself to heal. Dr. Phil suggests that you keep the following in mind:
Accept the things that you can't control. "There's something that's happened in the evolution of life in our current society that leads us to arrogantly believe that we run this world — and we don't," says Dr. Phil. "We've got to be accepting of those things we don't control."
Find meaning to your suffering. Don't allow yourself to be devastated for no reason, no meaning and no purpose. "You've got to create some value to the pain that you experience in your life," advises Dr. Phil. "It may be nothing more than helping those who are further back down the trail than you are. It is a process. It is an evolution. If you use your pain and what you've been through in your life, it won't seem to [be] such nonsense."
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